Parents!
Jan 17th 2004, 11:35 pm
#1
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Location: Chinchilla
Posts: 255
Parents!
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
Jan 17th 2004, 11:58 pm
#2
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Joined: Nov 2003
Location: toronto
Posts: 56
Re: Parents!
Originally posted by JAYMAC
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Don't complain!!!!!
You are sooooooooooooooo lucky!!!
Good for you. Good luck in your future!
Julia
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Don't complain!!!!!
You are sooooooooooooooo lucky!!!
Good for you. Good luck in your future!
Julia
Jan 18th 2004, 3:06 pm
#3
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
Re: Parents!
Originally posted by JAYMAC
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
Hi Julia,
I think that it is lovely that your parents and in-laws have been so supportive. Of course they are going to feel sad that you are all leaving, but they know that it will be best for you as a family, especially your children.
Providing we get accepted we are hoping to be in Adelaide by mid-2005.
We have two daugters, nearly 4 and 2 and told both our parents almost as soon as we got back from our holiday to Oz in September.
My parents don't say anything and Kevin's parents are certain that we will be back in no time at all.
I wish that they were more supportive and I felt that I could talk to them about how I feel and why we want to make this move.
Sometimes I wonder it would have been better if we emigrated before we had the kids.
Kelly T
Jan 18th 2004, 3:34 pm
#4
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Airlie Beach
Posts: 130
Re: Parents!
It's a good thing that you have your parents and in-laws behind you. My parents have been supportive but it's only because they are too polite not to be! My mum has always said that she knew I would never have been a home-bird, but I dont think she thought I'd ever go to Australia to live. She had "kittens" for the 2 years that I spent travelling around the world! Whilst they are excited about the prospect of being able to come to Oz for regular holidays, and they love my Aussie fiance, they are very lacking in the practicle side of supporting me. I am running around trying to apply for the right visa and trying to get the right information together. Im trying to organise where we will be living once we get there and shipping. I am also trying to book and plan our wedding which is in Oz next June and im not getting one bit of support. My sister is getting married here in uK this August and all their attention is on that event. Its a shame as before they know it I will be away in 9 months.
Jan 18th 2004, 4:13 pm
#5
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Location: Chinchilla
Posts: 255
Thanks for your responses. I realise that we are lucky not to have any opposition to the idea from our parents (but its still early days and I suppose that may change once they see we are serious). I didnt realise that the procedure would be so long and drawn out so I can imagine that unhappy parents would really make you think twice about the whole thing.
I have thought about the reasons our parents may appear so eager ... I think that my mum would probably like to have family in Australia so that she has a base to spend long holidays before she gets too old. She still has contacts in the Melbourne and Perth area from when she lived there many years ago so assume she is hoping we will move somewhere in that region.
My F-I-L has a brother in Queensland and I am beginning to suspect that they may have been considering retiring over there themselves in a couple of years time... obviously if we move out there this will make their process easier.
Next problem will be which area we pick .. the two couldn't be further from each other so somewhere along the line someone will be disappointed.
Anyway .. jumping ahead of myself as usual .. we are just in process of gathering the masses of information required for Skills Assessment which is only step 1 of many (fingers crossed!)
Julia
I have thought about the reasons our parents may appear so eager ... I think that my mum would probably like to have family in Australia so that she has a base to spend long holidays before she gets too old. She still has contacts in the Melbourne and Perth area from when she lived there many years ago so assume she is hoping we will move somewhere in that region.
My F-I-L has a brother in Queensland and I am beginning to suspect that they may have been considering retiring over there themselves in a couple of years time... obviously if we move out there this will make their process easier.
Next problem will be which area we pick .. the two couldn't be further from each other so somewhere along the line someone will be disappointed.
Anyway .. jumping ahead of myself as usual .. we are just in process of gathering the masses of information required for Skills Assessment which is only step 1 of many (fingers crossed!)
Julia
Jan 18th 2004, 6:09 pm
#6
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Posts: n/a
Re: Parents!
Originally posted by JAYMAC
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
There have been a few posts recently about the problems people have had when they have told their parents and in-laws of their intentions to emigrate.
Whilst I sympathise, it has got me thinking ... I broached the subject with my mother 2 weeks ago and she was all for it .. ( she lived in melbourne herself many years ago). she then went on to tell me how nice it would be etc etc.
A week later we decided to sound the in laws out on the subject just to test the waters. They had also been to Australia for 3 months last year. They were so enthusiastic about the idea they just about offered to pay for us to get there!
We do have two kids aged 4 and 11 .. perhaps it would have been nice if they had sounded a little bit disappointed (hehehe !!!)
Julia
Good luck
Jill
Jan 18th 2004, 6:28 pm
#7
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Posts: 2,030
nice to hear a good reaction - we have yet to cross that bridge.
MIL has been to Oz, and even in the past has stated why don't we go to Oz. Not sure if she will be so positive when it is a certainty.
My parents I think it will come as a surprise (but not a shock) - not sure if they are going to be happy or not, especially my mother.
My sister asked if we were going to emigrate after we returned from a holiday (well actually it was a gather info visit) in Oz. I lied and said no
hopefully my family/outlaws will be as understanding as yours
MIL has been to Oz, and even in the past has stated why don't we go to Oz. Not sure if she will be so positive when it is a certainty.
My parents I think it will come as a surprise (but not a shock) - not sure if they are going to be happy or not, especially my mother.
My sister asked if we were going to emigrate after we returned from a holiday (well actually it was a gather info visit) in Oz. I lied and said no
hopefully my family/outlaws will be as understanding as yours
Jan 18th 2004, 9:13 pm
#8
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,533
You are really lucky to have the support and encouragement from both sets of parents. My parents have only just started to accept the idea....we told them 10 months ago!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
Jan 19th 2004, 11:57 am
#9
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
Originally posted by TraceyW
You are really lucky to have the support and encouragement from both sets of parents. My parents have only just started to accept the idea....we told them 10 months ago!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
You are really lucky to have the support and encouragement from both sets of parents. My parents have only just started to accept the idea....we told them 10 months ago!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
I also wish I could speak to my Mum about it all. Instead I feel like I have said something wrong.
Over Xmas my aunt was asking questions about the process etc and my Mum didn't say a word, I felt really awkward and as if I was being naughty. (Sorry, I know it sounds stupid)
I also agree that we have to think of our children's future, besides what future would they have here, ie jobs, buying houses.
My husband says that you can't live your life by what other people want, and it is true.
Kelly T
Jan 19th 2004, 1:03 pm
#10
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Was Sydney, now Somerset
Posts: 400
Originally posted by TraceyW
You are really lucky to have the support and encouragement from both sets of parents. My parents have only just started to accept the idea....we told them 10 months ago!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
You are really lucky to have the support and encouragement from both sets of parents. My parents have only just started to accept the idea....we told them 10 months ago!!
They have made things pretty awkward and I tend to feel so guilty when they get all sentimental on me. There have been a few times I've come close to knocking it all on the head as the emotional blackmail was getting too much. We are taking their two youngest grandchildren which is making it 100 times worse. I reckon it would be easier to deal with if we were childless (thank goodness we're not though!)
The in laws have been amazingly good about it and that has helped a great deal.
I just wish I could talk to my Mum about it without her face going all sour! It really is a time when I could do with her support.
Oh well, I think all on here would agree though...you have to be selfish and to think of yourselves, and children first.
So, good luck to you in your application.... it's going to be a long ride!!!
We told our parents about our intentions a few years ago and they are still not quite used to the idea. It of course was made 100 times worse after our son was born and there is lots of emotional blackmail now. But I think we must go - you can always come back but if you never go in the first place you will always be wondering what if. . .
Mummy
