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Parent Nightmare 4 - The Return
For those of you who have followed us poor souls with 'difficult parents' - here is my update.....
Mother has just rung me in floods of tears, telling me she has just realised that we are going and that she is going to move back (she moved from the Northwest to be nearer us 2 years ago - that was fun telling her we were going to Oz). She said she has no-one here and wants to be with her friends. I feel totally crap, as she has focused her life around me and misses her friends badly. She's been a fab help to me while I have worked and I couldn't have done it without her. Strangly I won't miss her as we are not emotionally close. This should feel like the best result for me, as she will be with all her firends and I won't worry so much that she will be missing us. So why do I feel so crap ? Jill :( |
Re: Parent Nightmare 4 - The Return
Originally posted by Go Banana's !! For those of you who have followed us poor souls with 'difficult parents' - here is my update..... Mother has just rung me in floods of tears, telling me she has just realised that we are going and that she is going to move back (she moved from the Northwest to be nearer us 2 years ago - that was fun telling her we were going to Oz). She said she has no-one here and wants to be with her friends. I feel totally crap, as she has focused her life around me and misses her friends badly. She's been a fab help to me while I have worked and I couldn't have done it without her. Strangly I won't miss her as we are not emotionally close. This should feel like the best result for me, as she will be with all her firends and I won't worry so much that she will be missing us. So why do I feel so crap ? Jill :( its some sort of special talent that only parents have (my kids arent old enouigh for me to try it out yet!!) Im not close to my mum but she has an uncanny knack of making me feel crap and guilty when there is absolutely no need to!!! Call her bluff and gush about how wonderful it is she feels able to uproot and move, just like you are doing, to make a better life for herself!! Tell her you are soooo releived she will be ok and back in the bossom of her pals!!!! Then have a very large gin and smile, telling yourself you have nothing to feel bad about!! sue :D |
Re: Parent Nightmare 4 - The Return
Originally posted by Go Banana's !! For those of you who have followed us poor souls with 'difficult parents' - here is my update..... Mother has just rung me in floods of tears, telling me she has just realised that we are going and that she is going to move back (she moved from the Northwest to be nearer us 2 years ago - that was fun telling her we were going to Oz). She said she has no-one here and wants to be with her friends. I feel totally crap, as she has focused her life around me and misses her friends badly. She's been a fab help to me while I have worked and I couldn't have done it without her. Strangly I won't miss her as we are not emotionally close. This should feel like the best result for me, as she will be with all her firends and I won't worry so much that she will be missing us. So why do I feel so crap ? Jill :( The sad thing is that I know she is in a violent relationship - he gets drunk then gets violent. She kicked him out a few months back, reported it to the police and told him never to contact her again. He did exactly that and stopped all the harassing phone calls, following her to work and sending letters and all of a sudden she misses him so much & cannot live without him. Rings him up, goes out for a meal, they have a long talk and within 2 weeks he is back living with them. Oh it will be different this time she says - he has admitted he has a problem with alcohol and they will go to counselling. ( Not managed to get an appt yet though!!). His behaviour towards her worsened after our Dad died (he used to go and stay with her every 2 weeks), I have a grave feeling that once he knows I am not able to go running up there next time she has a crisis that his behaviour will worsen again. I can't help you with your Mum but maybe knowing others are having similar problems will make you feel less horrible. I keep telling myself that it is my life, she has chosen her pathway and I must choose mine!!! Its all added grief though isn't it??? Good luck!! |
Hey TWT - isn't that the best possible result for you?
Mum will be back with her friends in a place she calls home - and therefore won't be calling you every five minutes to say how lonely she is and how she moved to live near you and now you have left her *sob* It was her choice to come and live near you - you didn;t force her, promise that would be next door for the rest of your life or anything else that would force you to stay. Making your kids feel guilty is something Mum's specialise in - even if they don't mean to! I would enthuse madly, offer to help her househunt and do everything you can to get her up there with her mates before you go so she is settled and you can stop worrying about her. Have a drink and think 'well - doesn't everything always work out for the best in the end!!' Think yourself lucky - my mum is in NZ at the moment and has taken it upon herself to go to the town we are moving to tomorrow so she can tell us all about it and suss out houses for us ( and for herself, I am putting an educated guess at) ARRRRRRRRGHGHGHGH :scared: |
Guilt trips aarrrgghhhh
Hi Jill-I'm with Pollster on this one.Act dumb(I personally don't find that too hard),pretend you're unaware etc etc.it's easy after a bit-we've been doing it for a while with hubbys parents(" wait till we die before you go" ,"I might aswell be dead"-I'm sure you remember....).Not the way we'd like it to be of course but all the family out there who are behaving like this are as selfish as we are for emigrating in the first place.In my opinion.....for what it's worth....;) :D
If guilt persists alcohol is definately the answer:rolleyes: Mrs Neal |
Thanks to all above, knew Pollster and Tired with Twins Sue would come to the rescue and Mrs Neal the star who has a worse time than me on several quaters, is always there to make me feel better.
I recon we should have an agony corner, Shedu would keep us enthralled !!! After my first post I rang Mother and taking her to Newcastle shopping on Wednesday and will try the new approach. After she's fainted because I'm not begging her to stay, she'll probably say something along the lines of "So you want me to go then" - nothing I haven't faced before - families heh!!! I'm always so submissive , perhaps this is the dawn of the new me. Jill :) |
Hey, my parent came out with cracker yesterday.
They have just come back from a back to back Caribean (spelling?) cruise which they do at least once a year. Oh and they also have another 5-6 holidays a year as well as a place in France which they visit every other weekend. They said that if we moved to NZ they couldnt afford to visit us? :rolleyes: I didnt say anything, but I did laugh. Jack |
Like many we have had all the emotional blackmail thrown at us recently. The last gem being a type written letter from my parent's in law stating how wrong we were to go to Aus.
I was very upset for my husband, but he said they had had their say so let them get on with it, it won't change our minds. I spoke to a very gobsmacked mum in law when she enquired on the phone, later that week, had we received their letter and I sweetly replied yes and swiftly changed the subject. It will be interesting to see what is thrown at us next!!! |
Re: Parent Nightmare 4 - The Return
Originally posted by Go Banana's !! For those of you who have followed us poor souls with 'difficult parents' - here is my update..... Mother has just rung me in floods of tears, telling me she has just realised that we are going and that she is going to move back (she moved from the Northwest to be nearer us 2 years ago - that was fun telling her we were going to Oz). She said she has no-one here and wants to be with her friends. I feel totally crap, as she has focused her life around me and misses her friends badly. She's been a fab help to me while I have worked and I couldn't have done it without her. Strangly I won't miss her as we are not emotionally close. This should feel like the best result for me, as she will be with all her firends and I won't worry so much that she will be missing us. So why do I feel so crap ? Jill :( :) :) |
Originally posted by Jack Daws Hey, my parent came out with cracker yesterday. They have just come back from a back to back Caribean (spelling?) cruise which they do at least once a year. Oh and they also have another 5-6 holidays a year as well as a place in France which they visit every other weekend. They said that if we moved to NZ they couldnt afford to visit us? :rolleyes: I didnt say anything, but I did laugh. Jack GB, I sympathise - everyone else has offered great advice, so I will just add keep your chin up, stay focused on your goals, and don't let your mum bring you down too much. She will be OK, but as others have said, they have a tendency to be emotional. Of course she will be upset but deep down she would probably never want to hold you back from achieving your dreams. (She'd probably feel incredibly guilty if you turned round and said you weren't going because of her!) HP |
I agree with everyone else, be strong and remember all the reasons why you decided to emigrate in the first place.
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Sorry, I meant Hey Go Banana's not hey TWT at the beginning of my post - going bananas myself :rolleyes:
Glad the advice helped tho'! |
My mother lives round the corner from me, but she still rings me and I ring her. However if its 'my turn' to ring her (yes, we apparently have turns!) and I dont, I get the most awful response! She will ring me the following day and say things like 'I thought you had forgotten my number' etc.....(She actually walks past my house on her way home from the bus stop, and she goes to town on the bus practically everyday. Does she call in? does she...!!!! I often hear the kids shouting 'momma' at the window, and when I look out she s disappearing round the corner!!!!!)
When she is on one of her 'I never see my grandchildren/you never call' calls I hold the phone away from my ear and pull loopy faces at the kids or my partner - makes me feel much better!! Try it some time!!!! sue :D :D :D |
Parents can make something that is already an emotional event worse withiut trying hard.
We weren't really close to our respective parents (ie we phoned them often but didn't live in each others pockets) and thought that we would be ok when it came to saying the goodbyes etc. My parents didn't take the news of us moving too well so I've not seen/spoken to my mum since September and I spoke to my dad in December and he said he did't want to know when we were going:( Dave's family was a different story though. I was shocked at how upset I felt and I know Dave was. It was short lived though but that first phone call to them after we got here was hard. His dad is still really upset and tells us in a roundabout way on the phone but we know they are happy for us and they will hopefully be coming out to see us next year and see for themselves what it is like here. Don't let parents influence your decisions. You only usually get one shot at life and you have to live it for you and your family. Its hard whilst you are going through all the family traumas but well worth it in the end (well we think so anyway) Claire |
I think you should make the most of the time you have with your parents and relatives while you are still in the UK. It's easy to say they will come and see you at least twice a year, but to many people this isn't a possibility.
I know many people on here say they squabble with their parents and aren't really close but when you get here you may realise how much you do actually miss them? I do agree you can't let them rule your lives but I'am sure most are only thinking about you and they will miss out on grandchildren growing up etc... so spare a thought for how you would feel if your children left you behind when you are older? Don't let moving here put a rift between you and your parents, after all they have done their best for you haven't they? well most of them have anyway:D |
Spare a thought for the parents
Have just read Janeyray's post and I do completely agree-most peoples parents have worked hard emotionally and physically for their children all their lives and are now desperately sad to see them go to the other side of the world.More than a thought for how hard it is for them to be left behind ,and miss out on grandchildren growing up especially ,is essential and should come naturally to all of us who love our parents and don't want to see them unhappy....BUT...and this is only my opinion....they should equally want us to be happy and live our lives to the full and should feel a great sense of acheivement that their children are emotionally,physically and financially sound enough to contemplate such a huge life change-surely the biggest compliment to any parent is this??
I have a daughter-I miss her every day even whilst only at school and can't imagine not having her in my life every day.I tell her I miss her and it is the right of every parent to tell their children how they feel about them whether that makes us feel guilty or not.BUT we're not talking normal expression of feelings here-we seem to be on a completely different(and in my opinion unhealthy)level.The things that the parents/in-laws have been saying to those on this thread are totally controlling and hurtful.My parents are desperately sad that I'm going but they've managed to express that without crushing guilt-trips/with-holding of affection/with-drawing of favours or help/silent treatment/nastiness etc etc the list goes on if you read this ,and previous threads on this subject.The parents who demanded their sons Uni.fees back because he wanted to emigrate-the"after all I've done for you"train of thought-that can't be right surely??? I don't profess to have any idea of how it must feel to be the ones left behind-it must be utterly heartbreaking and I think those feeling this way should be shown much sensitivity.But it works both ways and I have been shocked at the way a lot of peoples families have treated them over their news to emigrate-I don't think the things that have been said and done are acceptable however much hurt is being experienced. I suppose I seem quite hard on this subject-I'm not,I cry most nights at the thought of leaving people I love(HRT might help on this one!!)but our parents have made choices in their lives that suited them.My husbands mum remarried someone he didn't get on with and moved him down from Liverpool to The midlands which is a million miles to a 15 yr old boy,but it was what was best for her at the time and she had to live her life for herself.What we're all doing is surely the same thing-making choices that suit us but not necessarily those around us? I won't waffle on you'll be pleased to know...I think I've made my point...!!!Mrs.Neal :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: |
Re: Parent Nightmare 4 - The Return
Originally posted by Go Banana's !! For those of you who have followed us poor souls with 'difficult parents' - here is my update..... Mother has just rung me in floods of tears, telling me she has just realised that we are going and that she is going to move back (she moved from the Northwest to be nearer us 2 years ago - that was fun telling her we were going to Oz). She said she has no-one here and wants to be with her friends. I feel totally crap, as she has focused her life around me and misses her friends badly. She's been a fab help to me while I have worked and I couldn't have done it without her. Strangly I won't miss her as we are not emotionally close. This should feel like the best result for me, as she will be with all her firends and I won't worry so much that she will be missing us. So why do I feel so crap ? Jill :( Hi Jill Just read your post. I know how you feel! I've written about this to other members of the site - when I told my Mum about 2 1/2 months ago she reacted really badly, floods of tears, soul destroying comments etc. Then just point blank refused to discuss it with us, pretending it wasn't happening! So over the weeks every so often, I've tried to bring our conv. round to Australia but without much success! BUT things are looking up! cause when I saw her today I finally got her round to talking about it for the first time, couldn't belive it actually! She even looked interested rather than distraught, and wanted to know where in Australia we would be going!! Could she finally be trying to accept it I wonder - I hope so as it will be great to be able to discuss different aspects of our potential move with her. It is a very difficult process but hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel and eventually most parents/family members do come to terms with the fact that one of their loved ones is emigrating. I am sure, if poss. the more you can talk about it the better for all, as it helps to ease the 'I feel crap about this' feeling!! Cheers Gill :) :) :) |
I have been on both sides of this fence. In the mid 60's I emigrated to Canada with my first husband. I was the eldest daughter and mother's favourite and although she was upset she knew it was a better chance than we could have in the UK at that time ( the Great British professional brain drain) What affected me most was to see my father in tears as we left by train. He was ex-Army and had gone off on duty every couple of years leaving us behind to cope. MY mother was stoic as she had learnt to be.
Well, for various reasons we returned after two years but never regretted going. Two year working holiday and 25% to put down on a house when other young couples were getting 95% mortgages. Some 25 yrs later my daughter emigrated to NZ a few days after her wedding. I was personally devastated, like a bereavement is the best I can describe it but like my mother I knew it was best for them. I would even have supported her joining her fiance in NZ to get married and save the cost of his return trip home for that. Yes. it makes me realise how my parents felt all those years back. I still hurt most every day because she is so far away, and it is over 8 yrs now and I have seen her 4 times. Twice we went to NZ, two trips home for them. They have their own house, bought after 3 yrs renting a tiny flat/unit, both have good jobs. Even with a degree and post-graduate diploma she could not get a job here. Will they ever return? Probably not. Will I ever emigrate to NZ myself? Maybe, but certainly not to live on her doorstep. If you believe it is right for you and your family, you go for it, it is your turn now!!!! The relatives will survive. For those of you who have moved already or about to, how about setting up up your family with a basic PC and internet and email and webcam. Get the 9 yr old grandson to show them how to use it :D |
Re: Spare a thought for the parents
Originally posted by neal .... should feel a great sense of acheivement that their children are emotionally,physically and financially sound enough to contemplate such a huge life change-surely the biggest compliment to any parent is this?? |
[Quote:
For those of you who have moved already or about to, how about setting up up your family with a basic PC and internet and email and webcam. Get the 9 yr old grandson to show them how to use it :D [/QUOTE] Hi Good posting! I would hope we would support our two sons if they wanted to move to another country in the future, especially if it could help their careers and family life. Re your point made above - this is something I have tried to approach with my Mum and Sister but neither of them will entertain the idea of having a PC as they are not into anything slightly electronic ! We are the only ones in our family to have a PC (two in fact) and have even offered to give them one on departure but they are still not interested - one of them might change their minds if it does happen I suppose. I could probably win my sister around eventually. I hope so as it would be a good way of communication for us apart from the telephone! More important things to worry about at the moment though like getting a visa, then selling our house! Gill :) :rolleyes: :) :rolleyes: |
Originally posted by Bix da Boss [Quote: For those of you who have moved already or about to, how about setting up up your family with a basic PC and internet and email and webcam. Get the 9 yr old grandson to show them how to use it :D Good posting! I would hope we would support our two sons if they wanted to move to another country in the future, especially if it could help their careers and family life. Re your point made above - this is something I have tried to approach with my Mum and Sister but neither of them will entertain the idea of having a PC as they are not into anything slightly electronic ! We are the only ones in our family to have a PC (two in fact) and have even offered to give them one on departure but they are still not interested - one of them might change their minds if it does happen I suppose. I could probably win my sister around eventually. I hope so as it would be a good way of communication for us apart from the telephone! More important things to worry about at the moment though like getting a visa, then selling our house! Gill :) :rolleyes: :) :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Hi Guys MMMmmm tried the PC thing with Mother too, even offered to buy her one with a web cam. But she said she didn't want to see her granddaughter if she couldn't hug her ...............that my friends just sliced my heart in two. Today I feel selfish, yesterday I felt crap and tommorrow who knows ........ a regular roller coaster that's me. Jill |
Hi Guys
MMMmmm tried the PC thing with Mother too, even offered to buy her one with a web cam. But she said she didn't want to see her granddaughter if she couldn't hug her ...............that my friends just sliced my heart in two. Today I feel selfish, yesterday I felt crap and tommorrow who knows ........ a regular roller coaster that's me. It certainly is a rollercoaster of emotions Jill! The word 'hug' rings a bell! She actually said, "If I cant see you anymore than thats it I dont want to know any of you anymore, might as well be dead"! So you can imagine how relieved I was today when my Mum was actually willing to talk about Australia - it felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders! I treaded very carefully and started the conversation with 'I know you dont want to think about it Mum, but' and went on from there,we made fun of all the stories about spiders and other nasties of OZ and that broke the ice - started discussing all sorts after that. I will still be a bit scared to approach the subject with her again but hopefully it will be slightly easier next time. It did appear that she is trying to come to terms with it at last which is a massive thing for her to do!! Fingers crossed!! Gill :scared: |
Originally posted by Go Banana's !! I recon we should have an agony corner, Shedu would keep us enthralled !!! :) You are absolutely right - my Sister has the type of lifestyle that would sell millions if I could get it all in a book. One crisis to another, I think she considers herself one of lifes victims and of course it is always someone elses fault!! You should have heard the conversation when she suddenly informed me she was going to be at the airport when we leave :scared: OMG that was a real battle. However I managed to put her off by deliberately booking the flight for a day I knew she should be working, as late in the day as possible and THEN threatened her with the fact that my in-laws will also be there!! Deep joy!! |
How did it go?????
Hi go bananas-how did it go with your mum today?Did the new approach work??We have the in-laws coming for dinner tomorrow night :rolleyes: so any feedback appreciated!!!Hope you had a nice day.Mrs.Neal;)
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I really do feel for all of you and it makes me realise how lucky I am. When I told my dad, he did the lip quiver and I thought OMG he's going to cry but as he always does when he gets sad news he pulled himself together very quickly and dived into the conversation about where we would live etc. It took me nearly 3 months to pluck up the guts to tell my mum. In the year before our decision, my parents separated and my mum moved to a new house in a totally different area. But even with all this turmoil in her life her response was fantastic. I would be a liar if I said she didn't even cry because she did, but it was mixed emotions that caused her to do this. She was happy for us but sad at the same time. But as she has always said I have to live my life as she has lived hers as she wanted. I really do hope all of you manage to get a positive response from your parents before you emigrate. Even though they don't read this I would like to thank my parents for the support they are giving us. I wish you all, the best of luck in the world.
Sarah |
Re: How did it go?????
the saga that is my inlaws and what my mother does (I put the phone down on her today after what she said) could keep the writer in corrie/eastender etc going for years - however I think truth is stranger than fiction.:eek: :scared: :rolleyes:
the thing is they don't even know about our plans and Australia - part of me thinks that they will be ok with it, but after today my thoughts are that I might have to seek counselling from you lot :D |
Re: How did it go?????
Originally posted by walaj the saga that is my inlaws and what my mother does (I put the phone down on her today after what she said) could keep the writer in corrie/eastender etc going for years - however I think truth is stranger than fiction.:eek: :scared: :rolleyes: the thing is they don't even know about our plans and Australia - part of me thinks that they will be ok with it, but after today my thoughts are that I might have to seek counselling from you lot :D |
Re: How did it go?????
Originally posted by Pollster Our door is always open!:D |
Re: How did it go?????
Originally posted by neal Hi go bananas-how did it go with your mum today?Did the new approach work??We have the in-laws coming for dinner tomorrow night :rolleyes: so any feedback appreciated!!!Hope you had a nice day.Mrs.Neal;) Trouble is I loose track of which threads I've posted on and by the time I realise they are 6 pages back. Thanks for being interested ! Well the new approach sort of worked in the sense that we didn't have a slanging match in the middle of John Lewis (which happens on a regular basis, is soooooooooooo embarrassing and has me feeling like a 5 year old). She apologised for being miserable ! and said she'd changed her mind about leaving this area and, again would consider Oz if it was an option for her. This is partly in response to her speaking to her nephew, who's a bit of a womaniser - 50 - not married but has lived in all four corners of the globe (globe - round - no corners?) Anyway he said - the usual good luck to them and why don't you go, you daft mare - or words to that effect. So really don't quite know what to make of it all, changes like the wind, so next week could be a different story. We had our xrays today - god that's easy money £110 for the two of us and done in 5 mins flat ! Hope you are all well in the Neal household and no nightmares around the corner :scared: Jill:) |
Trying the "new approach".....
Mrs.Neal here after an afternoon/evening with the in-laws("we might aswell be dead if you're emigrating").Thankfully they go home when we put our daughter to bed so it's all over early!!
Tried the "upfront"approach ie:talking about houses etc in OZ regardless of the atmosphere and it was quite interesting.We were verging on disaster (akin to walking on nails)when the conversation turned to how they were going to get our daughters birthday/Christmas presents to her.Chancing my arm(and several other parts of my anatomy)I suggested that maybe they could bring them out themselves and have a 6 week holiday into the bargain(being the outspoken kind of gal that I am)...initial response-not good(quote)"oh as easy as that...",to which I replied(in " I'm taking hRT now and can be REALLY patient about this mode" )"I didn't say it was easy but we'd love you to come and are as upset about not seeing you as you are at not seeing us".I also made the point that I also hate flying(mother-in-laws reason for not coming out)but it's a bloody long walk.Follow this with an awkward silence and you get the picture. However a surprising turn of events resulted from this rather risky approach and M-I-L turned to F-I-L and said"would you get on a plane and go?",to which he said a BIG YES straightaway!!!This did throw her as she looked a bit unsure of herself after that SO we think the first seeds have been sown. Thankgoodness. Time for a long lie down in a hugely dark room....there is hope.. Mrs.N:eek: :o |
Re: Spare a thought for the parents
Originally posted by neal Have just read Janeyray's post and I do completely agree-most peoples parents have worked hard emotionally and physically for their children all their lives and are now desperately sad to see them go to the other side of the world.More than a thought for how hard it is for them to be left behind ,and miss out on grandchildren growing up especially ,is essential and should come naturally to all of us who love our parents and don't want to see them unhappy....BUT...and this is only my opinion....they should equally want us to be happy and live our lives to the full and should feel a great sense of acheivement that their children are emotionally,physically and financially sound enough to contemplate such a huge life change-surely the biggest compliment to any parent is this?? I have a daughter-I miss her every day even whilst only at school and can't imagine not having her in my life every day.I tell her I miss her and it is the right of every parent to tell their children how they feel about them whether that makes us feel guilty or not.BUT we're not talking normal expression of feelings here-we seem to be on a completely different(and in my opinion unhealthy)level.The things that the parents/in-laws have been saying to those on this thread are totally controlling and hurtful.My parents are desperately sad that I'm going but they've managed to express that without crushing guilt-trips/with-holding of affection/with-drawing of favours or help/silent treatment/nastiness etc etc the list goes on if you read this ,and previous threads on this subject.The parents who demanded their sons Uni.fees back because he wanted to emigrate-the"after all I've done for you"train of thought-that can't be right surely??? I don't profess to have any idea of how it must feel to be the ones left behind-it must be utterly heartbreaking and I think those feeling this way should be shown much sensitivity.But it works both ways and I have been shocked at the way a lot of peoples families have treated them over their news to emigrate-I don't think the things that have been said and done are acceptable however much hurt is being experienced. I suppose I seem quite hard on this subject-I'm not,I cry most nights at the thought of leaving people I love(HRT might help on this one!!)but our parents have made choices in their lives that suited them.My husbands mum remarried someone he didn't get on with and moved him down from Liverpool to The midlands which is a million miles to a 15 yr old boy,but it was what was best for her at the time and she had to live her life for herself.What we're all doing is surely the same thing-making choices that suit us but not necessarily those around us? I won't waffle on you'll be pleased to know...I think I've made my point...!!!Mrs.Neal :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Take care Jill |
Re: Trying the "new approach".....
Originally posted by neal Mrs.Neal here after an afternoon/evening with the in-laws("we might aswell be dead if you're emigrating").Thankfully they go home when we put our daughter to bed so it's all over early!! Tried the "upfront"approach ie:talking about houses etc in OZ regardless of the atmosphere and it was quite interesting.We were verging on disaster (akin to walking on nails)when the conversation turned to how they were going to get our daughters birthday/Christmas presents to her.Chancing my arm(and several other parts of my anatomy)I suggested that maybe they could bring them out themselves and have a 6 week holiday into the bargain(being the outspoken kind of gal that I am)...initial response-not good(quote)"oh as easy as that...",to which I replied(in " I'm taking hRT now and can be REALLY patient about this mode" )"I didn't say it was easy but we'd love you to come and are as upset about not seeing you as you are at not seeing us".I also made the point that I also hate flying(mother-in-laws reason for not coming out)but it's a bloody long walk.Follow this with an awkward silence and you get the picture. However a surprising turn of events resulted from this rather risky approach and M-I-L turned to F-I-L and said"would you get on a plane and go?",to which he said a BIG YES straightaway!!!This did throw her as she looked a bit unsure of herself after that SO we think the first seeds have been sown. Thankgoodness. Time for a long lie down in a hugely dark room....there is hope.. Mrs.N:eek: :o take care Jill:) :) :) |
I've only just got your pm(thanks) so lots of confusion going on there...all sorted now though...:rolleyes: :D Mrs.n
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Mrs Neal
Had to giggle at the picture of you all sitting round - who needs TV Soaps. But with your sense of humour and proportion I think you will get there eventually. This Mum with a daughter half the world away and missing her all the time still says: Way to Go !!!!!!!!! ps: hope she signs my sponser form :D |
Ailsa have sent you a pm.Mrs.N
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