Is one year enough?
 

Was having a chat to a few new friends recently and the topic came up regarding emigration 'how long do you give it to know you've made the right decision'. Piece of string I said! So many different variables/situations. One person thought a year is all you need, the other thought five. I question how you can really ever 'know' anyway.

Interested to hear thoughts on here.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I think everyone is different. I was one of a dozen friends who all made the move. One knew it wasn't for him within two weeks. He stayed six months to earn enough to move back. He has no regrets and that was over nine years ago. All of us have now moved back to the UK with myself and another staying the longest at eight years.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I knew after a month but everyone kept telling me to 'give it time'.
Sadly by the time I had 'given it time' I had no money and no job to go back to, and have been stuck here ever since for one reason or another.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

5 minutes? I think I knew from a very few months in that I didn't want it as my forever home. My head told me it was home for nigh on 33 years but my heart never got with the plan. I do think you become desensitised to the irritating things with time and it's so comfortable to go with the flow so that it doesn't take long to drift past the point of no return.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I've been here just over ten years and often regret the decision to come here. It got so bad a couple of years ago that I finally started planning my return. Then Brexit happened...

Mind you... had I continued nursing in the UK, Brexit or otherwise, I would have had to accept a massive cut in my wages and deal with an overall situation for nurses back home that I am no longer prepared to tolerate.

The above however is a salutary reminder that everyone's emigration journey is personal. I know quite a few expats who are reasonably settled and a few who are perfectly content. I also know a fair few who are not settled, even after many years, but either cannot move back for various reasons or do not feel they can settle back in their country of origin.

There are more than a few 'stateless' individuals, and even entire families out there who have never really settled in Aus but are reminded of why they left their home country and feel that they cannot make the move back.

As of right now, I am sort of resigned to being here and making the most of my circumstances. It isn't all doom and gloom of course, but the emotional emptiness I feel at my surroundings is something that will probably never go away.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I might also add that I was talking to a colleague at work on Saturday about what we would do if we won the lottery (it was a rare quiet shift!).

She said to me that she would move back to the UK in a heartbeat. Before she had said that I would undeniably have put her in the 'perfectly content' category.

I know if I was rich enough not to have to work, I would do the same.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

yes

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Hang on a minute while I grab my violin

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Are you taking the piss?

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Meeting other expats from around the globe in WA the quickest person to return to their homeland was 4 weeks, a family returned to the UK after 6 months and a single Mum 4 months, we started to think about returning home after about 7 years as by then we had tried everything we thought we could to make Aus feel like "home" but it never was, Aus was just where we lived and worked but it was not where we felt we belonged, we had a good life etc but it was just not the same so after another 6 years of "trying" we planned a move back to the UK and we are all still happy to be "home" we do know friends though who are happy in Aus and would not return, it's really down to your own personnel choice and way of life, no case really is the same.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

He probably is. That's why I rarely voice my feelings on here any more.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Tried to do the give it 2 years thing as advised by many but the longing for home got me by 6 months. Booked the flights home and arranged the movers again and left after 8 months. The ironic thing was by then I was more settled and wanted to stay and suggested we go back to the UK for a visit and not for good. Wife was having none of it because things were in place and the teenage kids were looking forward to going back. Arriving back in winter with snow and realising how things looked dirty and run down in my town I realised after a week it was the wrong decision.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I think you probably know if it feels wrong quite quickly, whereas 'is it good?' is a more nebulous concept. I guess the levels of 'wrongness' and what people can put up with is a different matter.

Having said that, it was home for me the minute I touched down at the airport (well, once we'd got over the slight shock of the reality of the temperature differential between January in Yorkshire and January in S.E. Queensland)

Re: Is one year enough?
 

:rolleyes:

Re: Is one year enough?
 

You decide

Re: Is one year enough?
 

If you live beyond transient and shallow states such as WA and QLD these feelings rarely surface.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Wasn't the forum record for returning the family who never got from the airport to their rental in SA? Know loads returned from NSW - in fact on a forum I mod, must current returners are from NSW

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I like this point of view. Is it home vs it's not home but works on many other levels. An interesting concept.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Not good. I hope you're feeling more settled back in 🇬🇧 now? Unless you're making / have made plans to move back to Oz?

Re: Is one year enough?
 

That's great you're settled and happy 😊

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I know how you feel. Well, not exactly, but have similar feelings. Sorry to hear you would be so affected as a nurse after Brexit (not wanting to turn this into a Uk vs Aust debate, nor a Brexit debate). - Nurses in my humble opinion and past/recent experience are wonderful people x

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Not sure. Not seen such a stat.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

We've been here for 9 months. This is home to us now :cool:

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I believe so. Don't remember the poster's name though. There was also someone who png-ponged a couple oftimes - maybe Cherry or something similar, and I think they turned their container round before it reached Australia.
I did travel into Melbourne in a cab from the airport a few years back and the driver told me of a migrant family who got halfway to the city then asked to go back to the airport as it was so unlike the UK they just wanted to go home.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

How could they say that -

Tullamarine Fwy and the M4 are both cold, flat, desolate, and grey places. They share remarkable similarities.

Not a welcome introduction to either country.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Our drive to/from our local airport is very nice lol,

Re: Is one year enough?
 

:confused:not really.
7 years back in UK managed 2 RRVs and 2 job offers but timing is always wrong.Last job holding off to Jan 2018 but probably won't happen lol

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I suppose it depends on how much money you have, and at what point in the journey you are.

Ordinarily I would say one year is not enough - try a different place in Australia before calling it quits, and if that doesn't work, sure then leave - but if you are having nervous breakdowns or run out of money, then yes.

The poster who said after 9 months Australia was already "home" - I think you are going to find that premature. That is a very good start but you still have a lot of ebbs and flows still left to go through before you fully settle.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

interesting that majority on here are saying they are not happy in aus whats the main reason. according to stats half of all who make the move come 'home'.

is it the im away from family thing? that seems to be most peoples reasoning. or less disposable cash or the heat.... im interested in your thoughts.

as for carcajou saying someone thinking 9 months isnt enough and is premature thats ridiculous maybe they are perfectly happy. I find this forum mostly doom and gloom or maybe its just that i havnt made the move yet so have no way of comparing.

each person is different iv got 2 friends there who both initially went over on working visas stayed and 12 years later both told me they couldnt dream of coming back to england. i asked them this very question when did you know you wanted to stay.... they both said within 6 months.

as for feeling settled my mother for example is scottish in fact we all are but moved to england when i was very young. She has never classed england as her home and has ping ponged from england back to scotland more times than i can count. she not happy here gets nostalgic about scotland goes 'home' realises everything has changed and people have moved on realises she cant earn as much or have as bigger mortgage for a nicer house etc and ends up coming back to england where her children are. and she has repeated this process every 2 years for over 16 years now. yes shes not normal.

so i suppose feeling settled some people are just never happy then others get bitter about why a move abroad or home doesnt work out and start to ping pong.

when in the military when on long tours i got told by an old marine everyone has down days or weeks but some people can just drip/moan for the world constantly. Stay away from these people they will only drag you down as well. and he was right people like that dont do your own moral any good. so its probably similar when living in another country if you have close friends that still there longing for and moaning for home thats not going to do you any good either.

my 2 pence worth

big loves

Re: Is one year enough?
 

We are up to 4 times now but it wasn't always UK and this is the 5th country for me. Interestingly, I migrated in the early 80s and I think it was easier when you had less info. We are pretty happy in Winchester, again weirdly, Mrs TB is more settled here than me but I've just landed a fantastic perm role with a great package and a chance of Intl transfer back to Oz in a few years (though not guaranteed).

I miss surfing regularly, especially competing. Don't miss lots of things and am equally happy to take advantage of things that I couldn't in Oz. We've embraced our nomadic lifestyle but having Flipper has put the brakes on. I just roll with it now.

The things that would see us back in Oz are things we wouldn't have even considered before we had our daughter. Oh, and those f**k off big parking spaces:lol:

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Yup.

If you feel a valid comparison is moving between Scotland and England, you are going to be in for a huge shock. You are not moving to a little slice of the UK in the South Seas.

Your post came off as naive and condescending. I suggest a lot more empathy for the other posters in this forum.

I have also seen, in person and on this forum, many people arrive, have a good start and get happy-clappy, and then have enormous difficulties in Year 2, Year 3 or beyond that broadside them because they thought the "hard yards" were done. So yes I think, based on the experiences of many, many others, that it's too early to declare Australia "home" after what was it 6 months? 9 months?

PS - I am quite happy here. But I am also realistic about the statistics and experiences of others.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Most of my friends here over the years have been migrants, met through the forum, and almost all of them have been perfectly happy, settled straightaway. If other people were affecting my feelings about settling then I would have been perfectly happy from day one, no-one has worn away my love for the place with drips or moans.
If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work, no amount of people telling you how good the place is can change your own inner feelngs.

This is not Scotland, you can't jump on a train and be home in an hour or so.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

you have also misunderstood my explaining of my mothers constant moves. my point was she has never felt settled in scotland or england. nothing to do with distance lifestyle etc etc. the only comparison i was making was the 'feeling' of being settled. so maybe people are the same the world over for those that emigrate or leave their respective country and struggle to feel settled.

Also the question was open ended for a debate, you think it not long enough and my friends think it was. although i dont doubt at some point they had their moments.

well strangely i seen your second post as condescending but didnt say as thought it rude but there you go. some people believe 9 months is enough.
each persons perspective is just that theirs and neither right nor wrong.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Then you are lucky to have a strong constitution, i have seen plenty of folk be dragged down by drips.

in my opinion your own inner feelings can be changed by experiences and people you meet. for example if i landed in aus met a load of lovely people loved the area it would make me want to stay. if i landed had nothing but a torrid time with people in an area i didnt like it wouldnt encourage me to stay.

also again i think you have looked at my post referencing scotland to england wasnt about the distance or lifestyle etc etc it was about the feeling of being 'settled' although your the second person to say this so maybe i should have explained more. but there you go only so much to can explain in a post :)

Re: Is one year enough?
 

well thats good that you are happy. and statistics are interesting arnt they 50% come back to uk. do you know the main reason? i dont remember seeing a statistic on that.

i like to look on the bright side of life and hope when i move it works. sure wont be easy but very little is now days and if it doesnt work i can always return.

experiences of others is an interesting one. if i did 10 amazing things and one very stupid thing everyone would talk about the stupid thing and forget the amazing things. human nature i believe.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

I am someone who has and still does mod on forums for many years. I have also moved to Oz and returned.

The main reason people return can be boiled down to one simple and thing. It's no better.

I have lived in 13 countries. My wife a few less, though want born in the UK. Our move was almost accidental - I was head hunted by an Oz company, forgot about it until the day before the move and came home to find boxes packed!

The reason we returned was work. Or lack of. That was after eight years.

In my experience people who return put is down mainly to missing friends and family. As well as culture and others. I could have easily have put it down to weather - I hated the heat. But, it boils down to the same thing. People move to the other side of the world with expectations of a better life. Find actually, it isn't, then sit back and go well, I am no better than previous, I earn less, I have less time off and I have no friends and family. What's the point? Even the sun lovers often get disheartened. For example, WA. Hot summer, but cold winter in houses only designed for summer, so no heating or insulation. Or in places like QLD have cyclones.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Just to clarify, this is you and not the general?

You write it like its the general but this is you and your constant moan.

Small populations in these areas - in the rest of Australia, we are fine.

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Some people are happy living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people hate living here from the outset and that never changes

Some people begin by feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, don't want to live here anymore so leave

Some people begin by not feeling happy living here, but for various reasons, over a various number of years, become happy with living here and don't leave

Anything else is just an individual's opinion

Re: Is one year enough?
 

This should go in a sticky. :thumbup:

Re: Is one year enough?
 

Absolutely