Craig822

Pockygoes

Took me 6 months or so to begin to feel settled here in Italy and I knew from the outset that it was only a 3 year thing. Give it 6 months at least.

All the best

sackofspuds

This isn't aimed at you, but it never ceases to amaze me how many people decide to emigrate on the strength of a holiday of a few weeks, especially those who have young kids and/or family down the road. I even read some posts here from people who go on the say so of their Aunt who emigrated 30 years ago or similar and who can't afford to even go on holiday there first.

My girlfriend and I lived in Sydney for 4 years before returning to the UK to get married and have children. My mother and stepfather are in Adelaide and there's no way I would consider moving anywhere but Adelaide now we have 2 Primary age daughters; the family support is one of the major draws, partly because we haven't ever had any.


I'm afraid that once you have emigrated there's a strong chance you'll always think the grass is greener and you run the risk of never finding contentment. I can vouch for that.

There's a danger of not fully engaging with the country you're in because at the back of your mind you think you can "escape".

Well presumably your boys haven't yet started school and they've come from winter to summer so like you say, no wonder they love it.

Hate to say it, but I worry that if we moved to Adelaide it would be difficult to return after a year or so because our kids would be behind their UK peers. I'm sure the Oz education system is excellent, but from what I gather they do start a year later so this in my view makes it a bit of a one-way street.

Saying all this, I would not contemplate returning for at least 6 months.

angel17796

I hope you and your family start to feel settled soon. We have just not long started the immigration process but already i find myself thinkin about all the possibilities that might happen if we do get over.

2 years ago myself and my partner and my 1 year old baby left Scotland to move down to Surrey. It was really hard at first as my partner was workin 12 hour night shift, 7 days a week at heathrow and i was lucky if i seen him maybe 1 hour a day. The first few months were a nightmare for me as we had no friends and family around us. This was made equally hard as we moved to a small village and i dont drive!! I soon made new friends and got a part-time job and it made life so much better for us. For nearly a year I flew up to Scotland every 6 weeks to see everyone but as time passed i felt more at home in Surrey. ( i havent been up for 6 months now lol)

We cant wait to get over to Brisbane and we are under no illusion that its goin to be easy but we think and pray that we will make a go of it. (also cant fly home every 6 weeks lol)

Wish u all the best for the future.

jensteve

I reckon you need coffee with the girls, think you are too far away though. pm me if you fancy the trek though to up our end.
I would say jet lag has hit you hard and you have not yet had time to breath and take in what 's happening.
Say to yourself 2 years thats all, I can last that long and then if you feel the UK beckons then go back but get your citizenship first. The amount of people I met before we came out that went back, then 10 years later when their situation had changed couldn't get back to OZ and are now kicking themselves.
You've just done the biggest thing in your life so far, and it will take a while for you to settle into this way of life. Don't go back you will only regret it, maybe not in the next couple of years but when your past 45 and stuck in a rutt in the UK and can't do anything about it, you will be glad of your dual citizenship.
Jenny

Go Banana's !!

Spooky:scared:

Just what I was going to say!

You would be so welcome at one of our coffee mornings, or I would be happy to travel down to meet up with you.

Take care and as said before, one day at a time

love Jill

(pm on it's way)

Pollyana

A week is just tooshort a time to know one way or the other - everything from the UK is still too fresh in your mind. You HAVE to give it more time before you decide one way or the other.
If you were in Brissie, us girls would invite you to join us and talk about it; as it is I think the Perth girls are already on the case!
Don't make a rash decision - remember how long it took you to decide to come here. If you do decide to go back, at least you gave it a go, but for now, stick it out.

bridiej

That's very true, I lived in Lincoln for 8 years then moved to Kent where I knew nobody except my parents!!! It was very hard but I had a job to go to and made friends from there. To start with I used to go back to Lincoln every six months, but I've now been in Kent for nearly 9 years and havent been to Lincoln for about 4 years!!

It IS hard to start with, whether you're moving to a different country or county, but it WILL get better and one day you'll think you were mad to have doubts!

FozzieBear

Hi

Im sure when you've settled in you will feel alot better, I am currently applying for a visa to Australia and hope to settle down in Perth. I cant wait for the go ahead and when I get it i'll be straight there. No doubt will feel the same as you but going to give it my best shot. As I see it the life style is a whole lot better than the UK. Anyone who goes over with no job will worry but your hubby has already got one so abit of relief there for you. Keep us posted and hope you start enjoying yourself more.

bal56

We went through all this a few years back when we moved from the UK to Miami. The trip lasted 18 months and we 'lost' a chunk of cash but gained a lot of experience. Our biggest regret since coming back has been not making more of a go of it in the States. If job or accommodation or friends (or lack of them) aren't suitable it makes more sense to work at changing it out there rather than immediately resorting to the safe option of coming back home. I remember stepping out of Leicester railway station on a grey Febraury day thinking .. what have we come back to?
Now we're heading to Oz in April, without ever having visited ... can't afford a holiday!!
I do however now feel that we'll make it work this time as we know that it will take some effort, it won't be alright straight away, and all those little, often imperceptible things will be different from the UK. We also know that we may well see more of relatives as we'll see them for several weeks every few years rather than for just the occasional rushed day.

dayank

I went through the same thing when I moved to the Holland from my home country. I knew from the second day that it was not what I wanted (took two years of planning to finally get there) and after spending several months, decided that I could not envision my future in Holland and left the country.

I would say, give it some time before leaving. If you are really homesick, stock up on those cheap international phone cards and call those people at home often. Even though a conversation on the phone is not the same as face to face interaction, it will help alleviate some of that homesickness.

Give yourself some time to adjust to your new surroundings. Make an effort to go out and meet people, as isolation from the world around will exacerbate the problem.. Or if you enjoy the great outdoors make plans to take trips with your family on the weekends. Or if you are at home alone, go out, take long walks or explore nearby towns / cities (Rottnest Island is gorgeous w/its secluded beaches and is walkable; Freemantle has a lot of great funky shops and restaurants.)

If at 6 months you find yourself extremely homesick and growing to hate the place more than you are liking it, then maybe it is time to reconsider your migration. Do'nt feel like a failure, because it is best to try things out than to regret the things you haven't done (a cliche - but very true one at that.) Things like feelings of homesickness and the comfort of familiar surroundings are not predictable until you get to your destination. Before moving to Holland, I had travelled extensively for long periods of time and had never felt homesick, until...

Good luck and please keep us updated.

STUBBS

you sound like you could do with making some freinds, i know a site you could go on emi-great .com, they all live around your area the people who go on that site, port kennedy, secret harbour , singleton ect they have meet ups every month like a big bbq on beach front at golden bay was their last meet up, they are a very freindly bunch all from uk, we will be joining them in the summer.
Donna.

chippy dave

hello pockygoes,

After reading your post i noticed your signature.Well sit back take a deep breath and think BRING IT ON

good luck and stick with it dave

BrisbaneBoy

Hello everyone!! I have just registered with British Expats although I have been reading the various posts on this forum for some time now.

Anyway, a bit about me. I am an Australian Citizen, born in Brisbane and lived there for 31 years before moving to sunny Sutton in Surrey in 2001. I met my finacee, who is British, and she got her permanent residency visa in December last year. We are moving back to Brisbane in May. I am 35, and my partner is 31.

Now - why I am posting a reply to this topic...

Having moved from Australia to London 3.5 years ago, I can honestly say that 6 days after being in Croydon where I work, I could have chucked it all in and went home - let me assure you! I arrived in January and having lived in a warm sunny city all my life, I could of thought I was going mad to be now living in Croydon in January with the freezing rain and wind. But I stuck it out and as each month past, I got use to things slowly but surely and came to accept how things are in London and why I was here.

I have to say, that it took me a good 2 years before I felt that I actually lived here and fully accepted it. Up until then, I was just here, and home was in Brisbane. I guess home will always be Brisbane, but what I mean, is living here without the urge to be still living in Brisbane or pining for my old life, and accepting my new life.

Going back after 6 days is just nuts - and I don't mean any disrespect. Actually going home after 6 months is nuts - if you did you research and had your reasons before arriving.

What you are feeling is "home sick" - pure and simple and quite normal.

It will pass. The only cure is time and it is something everyone goes through no matter what country they emigrate to.

Buy a return ticket for a visit to your old home 12 months after you arrived in Australia and then again 6 months after that and then 3 months after that.

By the end of your third trip, you will know where you want to be.

Keep your chin up!

tiredwithtwins

hiya,
im not having a go at you or anything, please dont take this the wrong way, but what else are people going to base a decision to emigrate on? If you visit a place and you like it, then why not move there??

as i said, im not having a go, so please dont think im trying to pick an arguement or anything - im not.

happy new year, and Pockygoes, give it a bit longer - you are bound to be in panic mode at the enormity of what you have done, but as you can see from everyone who has posted, its normal and you will come through it. give yourself a timeline eg, if it still feels as bad in 6 months, then come back, if its starting to feel better at 6 months, give it 2 years.

good luck, make use of all your virtual friends - make the ones who offer into your new real friends!

sue x

scrawni

If you are so unhappy then 2 years in a long time to stay. Maybe if you give yourself say, 3 months at first, then six and so on. If you break it down into a few months at the time then emotionally it doesn't seem so bad.

I found the first week horrendous, missing family and everything familiar. I could have quite easily have got on the next plane back to the uk. Not everyone has these feeling and some suffer more than others. I really feel for you at the moment and know how upsetting it is.

We have been here for 7 mths now and some days it is still hard but emotions are not so raw. If you go back now you will kick yourself later for not giving it longer. Even if you only stay for 6 month, you will know whether it is for you or not. I don't believe you have to stay 2 years to know. Don't forget the uk isn't going anywhere, it will still be there if you decide to go back. So will you family and friends.

Take up the offer of meeting the girls, it will help to talk it through. Also, get hubbie to meet other people also, especially if he is feeling the same as you.

Sorry for going on, give me a pm if you need to chat.

Mandy