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OMG What have we done???

OMG What have we done???

Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:05 pm
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Hiya all

We have been in Perth for 6 days & after 2 days we wanted to go home!!! It is the enormity of what lies ahead - we have planned this move for 2 1/2 years & have visited Perth before (last year) so thought that we had it sorted. Hubbie has been offered a job - but this has just made things better in one way & worse in another!! his job is in Osbourne Park & we are renting in Port Kennedy (short term let only). We thought at first that we wanted to settle in Secret Harbour but realise that it would be too far to commute realistically (don't mind 3/4 hour). One day I am missing home so much & can hardly raise a smile & then the next day hubbie feels the same & I am more upbeat. We so don't want to make an expensive mistake & are conscious that if we do not settle after making a start that we will have eaten into our money & we will not be able to afford to go back to what we had!

Also we wonder if we will become one of the yo-yoers & as soon as we get back to the UK want to come back here - expensive mistakes to make!!! We miss family & friends & our mood can go up & down on the same day. We know that a life here will be great for our 9 year old twins but can't help the way we are feeling. I love the lifestyle but I am not sure that it is enough. I really feel that the answer is not out there.

I know that only we can make the decision - but at the moment we know that if we went back now - hubbie can walk back into his well paid job & that we could look for another house in a nice village (although probably not the same as we sold) & can slot back into life - looking like a complete failure - but at the moment I really don't care!!

Sorry for moaning but just thought I would feel better for having a true Pommie whinge!!

Pockygoes
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Originally Posted by pockygoes
Hiya all

We have been in Perth for 6 days & after 2 days we wanted to go home!!! It is the enormity of what lies ahead - we have planned this move for 2 1/2 years & have visited Perth before (last year) so thought that we had it sorted. Hubbie has been offered a job - but this has just made things better in one way & worse in another!! his job is in Osbourne Park & we are renting in Port Kennedy (short term let only). We thought at first that we wanted to settle in Secret Harbour but realise that it would be too far to commute realistically (don't mind 3/4 hour). One day I am missing home so much & can hardly raise a smile & then the next day hubbie feels the same & I am more upbeat. We so don't want to make an expensive mistake & are conscious that if we do not settle after making a start that we will have eaten into our money & we will not be able to afford to go back to what we had!

Also we wonder if we will become one of the yo-yoers & as soon as we get back to the UK want to come back here - expensive mistakes to make!!! We miss family & friends & our mood can go up & down on the same day. We know that a life here will be great for our 9 year old twins but can't help the way we are feeling. I love the lifestyle but I am not sure that it is enough. I really feel that the answer is not out there.

I know that only we can make the decision - but at the moment we know that if we went back now - hubbie can walk back into his well paid job & that we could look for another house in a nice village (although probably not the same as we sold) & can slot back into life - looking like a complete failure - but at the moment I really don't care!!

Sorry for moaning but just thought I would feel better for having a true Pommie whinge!!

Pockygoes
Surely you considered the option of feeling like this before you went out? - And I don't mean that to sound disrespectful.

My wife and I are set for a possible period of timing disliking our new life...but whatever happens you/we have to make a go of it.

Ok, so you're not used to your surroundings now, but if you stick at it, revisit this thread when you're sunning yourself on your deck and have a good laugh at how silly you were to even consider making a huge decision of returning to the UK after just 6 days.

If 2...3, even 6 months down the line and you are all really miserable then come back - but don't give up on it now - that would be crazy - and I hope/think that is the reassurance you need now.

p.s. I don't what 'lovely' village you used to live in, in the UK, but I've heard its gone really down hill since you left so it's certainly not worth returning!
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

give yourself some time....
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:25 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Hope the "whinge" has helped!!!

Try not to feel too down about it, you've only been there a week so it's bound to feel like a big upheavel still.

Look on the bright side, at least your husband has a job to go to so you can get into a new routine and put some "normality" back into your life.

sending you some calming karma
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:30 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Whoa! You've only been here for 6 days! I can understand the mixed feelings, that's only natural when you've upheaved your life so dramatically, but try taking some deep breaths and give yourselves some time to settle in.

Sounds like you might be panicking a bit at the craziness of it all. Are you sure that you're not just missing the security of being in a familiar place?

Best advice... Take it one day at a time. You will have ups and downs for a while, that's normal, just ask any of us Perth Ladies. Once housing and jobs, schools etc.. have been sorted, you'll probably feel much better and able to relax and enjoy what you came here for!
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:33 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Hi there,

I hope you are felling a little better for getting it of your chest. As I'm still in the UK, I'll leave it to the experts already in Aus to recount their stories and try and support you and yours through a really difficult, stressful period.

Just to say I think these sort of posts are really invaluable - so well done for telling it like it is! Karma on its way.

GG
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 12:35 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Try and give yourself time, my sister felt like you do, now two and a half years down the line you couldn't move her from oz she loves it the kids now 11 and 9 love it and so does her husband.
We move over this Jan/feb and are giving ourselves at least 2 years to decide. It dosn't have to be forever but give it a go or you could regret it!!

hope you settle in soon.

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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:08 pm
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give yourself time and I promise that it will get better.

You have went through such a big upheavel and are bound to feel unsettled for a while, new country, culture, jobs, freinds etc etc.

Try to stay positive and remember you have friends on here and you can have a good old moan anytime.

Good luck to you both

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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:15 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Hiya,
Give me a call anytime deb ...you have my number!

I know its no help now,.,.......but given time you really will feel much better!
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:15 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Stick in thier and like others have said take it one day at a time your gonna have your bad days but you will also have your good days. Try and meet up with people who have been out there awhile and hear their tales of when they first came out and how they feel now. Keep smiling
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:16 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Hi
I know what you are going through, I did it when I went to Melbourne a couple of years ago and just freaked out. I came back to the UK after just a week. Part of what you are feeling is probably tiredness as well, jet lag can really get you and everything is strange, even the newsreaders on the television. Sounds a silly small point but when nothing at all is familiar around you you feel rudderless. Hang on in there, you've got each other for support.

I'm coming to Queensland in June and am determined to make a go of it this time now that I know what to expect.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:17 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Thanks all for your kind words & karma.

yes we did know that it would be hard but never thought it would be this hard!!! We are fairly strong people and had thought we were prepared. Maybe because we have given up so much we are finding it even harder - we have no family & friends here - so again that makes it harder. We are close to our famillies & I think that that has been a bigger wrench than we thought. I have lived away from my home town before so it is not like I have never been away from them - I think that it has still hit us like a ton of bricks. I have spoken to a few expats since being here & there are many stories of people returning after a week and of others returning after 6, & 10 years even. I don't want to be in that position either - but one never know! We have to keep reminding ourselves why we came - but it is pretty damned hard when you feel like this!!

Our boys love it here - but with repect what child wouldn't - it is not the place that is the problem - I think the problem lies within us. Also concerned that we are playing with their education if we left it 6 mths - will they readjust well when/ if we go back then?

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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:22 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

Don't worry, this is a perfectly normal reaction. After all the hard work of the last couple of years, getting here can seem like a terrible anti-climax.

Don't expect to hit the ground running. Despite all the planning, some things are bound not to be quite as you expected. If life isn't perfect straight away, it's nothing to beat yourselves up about.

Also I have to say that after 6 days you are still surely in the midst of jet-lag, so don't make any weighty decisions one way or the other!
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:26 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

It's an enormous decision you've got to make. Personally, I would stick with it for at least a couple of months to see if things change. You have just done an extreme thing but I think that to head back now would be even more extreme (although as for looking 'a complete failure', I wouldn't go along with that - you tried, it didn't work. End of story).
As for the kids with their education - I never stop being amazed at how kids cope with such huge changes in their lives and yours could too. Although I didn't move far as a kid, I did change school several times. Sometimes I'd be ahead of the class in the new school and sit twiddling my thumbs but other times I would be thrown in the deep end, well behind the rest and had to catch up. I came out of school with a decent set of grades.

I hope you can make a decision without too much grief, it sounds like you want / need to make it quickly. Good luck either way.
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Old Jan 12th 2005, 1:30 pm
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Default Re: OMG What have we done???

I felt like that moving from Oxford to Edinburgh. You have left your safe, familiar home and are somewhere strange.

Once you start to settle and get your own stuff around you and get to know the people and area it becomes more familiar and much easier. I wouldn't go back to Oxford but still struggled for a while up here but love it now.

Looking forward to our next move but I know there will be a difficult period of adjustment but I know I just have to expect it.

It does get better and if it doesn't, at least you have tried. My in-laws are bitterly regretting never having tried.
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