Oh what a DAY !

Old Nov 5th 2005, 6:17 am
  #1  
Banned
Thread Starter
 
Timber Floor Au's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Timber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond repute
Default Oh what a DAY !

Up this mornin 4:45am

Checked emails, coffee, 3 cigs a fart and then a run tut dunny !!

5:45am concreter turns up to lay base for new kennel block...

"Hey Steve " I cant cut these concrete posts out, need a breaka m8 !"

"Its cool borrow my MAKITA pride n joy jobby, chisel so sharp and clean yud swear id never used it dont tell wife "

"Sweeeeeet m8,goodonya "

Hey "Brent" I shouted, listen m8, debs has just gone to dog show, I havta be at work for 7:45 ish ... leave it all in ur capable hands huh ?"

"No wurries" , he smiles " Cya"

Off i drove, to Chapel Hill, down the Logan, up the gateway, thru Etoll ... stopping at Mt Gravatt to pick up supplies n follo the boss to the job "

Arrivin at 7:45 on the dot, i lit a smoko, jumped out of me ute, and WHOOOSH got hit by a massive sudden downpour, my LAST F****N fag drowned instantly. My shirt n shorts, no spare set, DRENCHED !

Argggggghhhhhhh

Get to the job, and we is workin for Mr ICanny MakeadecisionIfmelifedependedonit !!!

Having pissed about holdin a 20 kilo a/c head unit in the air for the prick, to decide which looks best and which position would suit the dynamics of his mitsubitchy inverter split system self ionising remote friggin control, i lose my rag !!

MATE ITS GOIN HERE OK !

"Sweet" he retorts n buggers off to play PS2

The rest of the mornin continued like that, even hanging a h/duty brkt outside, reqd his expert choice and pinpoint decisiveness...

This time, me and gaffer , who is 71 btw !! are holding a 72 kilo outdoor unit in mid air, so the prick can make his mind up as to what exact GPS trajectory would least give him UV problems, and be more sheltered from the westerleys on a Winters Mornin !!


MATE ITS GOIN HERE OR IM GONNA DROP IT !! OK!!!!!!!!!

"sweet" he says !!! n again buggers off, arya gerrin the picture ?? lol

We finish job, hes thrilled at his choice of position and commends our most polite and effortless installation, shuts door, and we bugger off....

As most ppl know, Chapel Hill is awash with Qld.ers and old ones at that, but its a nice area... The sun was shinin, and we were bakin, off we go...

Next job, is cancelled, due to flooding,,,, so its back to bosses in Mt Gravatt a beer a smoko ( my wet one from earlier had now dried on my Dash Mat) ....

We arrive at Mt Gravatt, I pop the fag in my gob, light it, and leap outta my Ute.... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED !!!????

YEP f****g boss, closes upn over garage door, which im standin under, and im FLOODED by all the rain that had collected off it... my fag wilts, and the glowy ember from its RED END diminishes... i sigh and look at the boss, n say very quietly, im goin home

Cya Monday Steve , n cheer up ya miserable bastard he yells back, laughin in his Deep Texan Voice....

I get home, Debs still at dog show, and i notice a huge puddle of water near house, and think, fark weve had LOADSA rain, yipeeeeeeee

Lets check the tanks... I GAMBOL pmsl upto the tank nrst kennels, concreter has gone home, musta been rained off....

I take the smoko from my pocket, yes THE SAME FRIGGIN FAG !! pop it in my gob, and am about to light it, when i notice my hose connected to tank is extremely tight, I investigate, and to my shock...

The friggin concreter had moved a ton of earth on to my hose !! the cheek... and the hose was s tight you could now play Happy Birthday in c minor on it....

I move the earth, still with my fag, on... obviously turnin tap off first... LOL I AINT SILLY !!!

I eventually move the soil, and the hose is FREE !!!

I go back to my tank, and wiggle my wonderful slinky hose agan !! yeee haahhh i fixed it !!

I light my fag, whilt simultaneously turnin the tap....



Ohhh


Poooo


A solitary jet of water, from the flange that connects the tap housing to the tank, ( which is full ) aimed mysteriously at my smoko, at a pressure one would guestimate was about 35000 psi !!!! extinguishes my fag, which i wretchedly tight lippedly lol, try and hold onto under the pressure from this water... my lips give way, the white part of my smoko lands about 20 zillion feet away, and im left with just a cyclindrical filter in my gob....

Dont ya just love AUSTRALIA !!!!!

Please dont gimme Karma , if you enjoy this true story, please note no chickens were harmed in it, until afterwards.. rolled up chicken legs make wicked CIGARS !!!!
Timber Floor Au is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 6:28 am
  #2  
Banned
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Luke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond reputeLuke I Amyofath has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by Timber Floor Au
Up this mornin 4:45am

Checked emails, coffee, 3 cigs a fart and then a run tut dunny !!

5:45am concreter turns up to lay base for new kennel block...

"Hey Steve " I cant cut these concrete posts out, need a breaka m8 !"

"Its cool borrow my MAKITA pride n joy jobby, chisel so sharp and clean yud swear id never used it dont tell wife "

"Sweeeeeet m8,goodonya "

Hey "Brent" I shouted, listen m8, debs has just gone to dog show, I havta be at work for 7:45 ish ... leave it all in ur capable hands huh ?"

"No wurries" , he smiles " Cya"

Off i drove, to Chapel Hill, down the Logan, up the gateway, thru Etoll ... stopping at Mt Gravatt to pick up supplies n follo the boss to the job "

Arrivin at 7:45 on the dot, i lit a smoko, jumped out of me ute, and WHOOOSH got hit by a massive sudden downpour, my LAST F****N fag drowned instantly. My shirt n shorts, no spare set, DRENCHED !

Argggggghhhhhhh

Get to the job, and we is workin for Mr ICanny MakeadecisionIfmelifedependedonit !!!

Having pissed about holdin a 20 kilo a/c head unit in the air for the prick, to decide which looks best and which position would suit the dynamics of his mitsubitchy inverter split system self ionising remote friggin control, i lose my rag !!

MATE ITS GOIN HERE OK !

"Sweet" he retorts n buggers off to play PS2

The rest of the mornin continued like that, even hanging a h/duty brkt outside, reqd his expert choice and pinpoint decisiveness...

This time, me and gaffer , who is 71 btw !! are holding a 72 kilo outdoor unit in mid air, so the prick can make his mind up as to what exact GPS trajectory would least give him UV problems, and be more sheltered from the westerleys on a Winters Mornin !!


MATE ITS GOIN HERE OR IM GONNA DROP IT !! OK!!!!!!!!!

"sweet" he says !!! n again buggers off, arya gerrin the picture ?? lol

We finish job, hes thrilled at his choice of position and commends our most polite and effortless installation, shuts door, and we bugger off....

As most ppl know, Chapel Hill is awash with Qld.ers and old ones at that, but its a nice area... The sun was shinin, and we were bakin, off we go...

Next job, is cancelled, due to flooding,,,, so its back to bosses in Mt Gravatt a beer a smoko ( my wet one from earlier had now dried on my Dash Mat) ....

We arrive at Mt Gravatt, I pop the fag in my gob, light it, and leap outta my Ute.... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED !!!????

YEP f****g boss, closes upn over garage door, which im standin under, and im FLOODED by all the rain that had collected off it... my fag wilts, and the glowy ember from its RED END diminishes... i sigh and look at the boss, n say very quietly, im goin home

Cya Monday Steve , n cheer up ya miserable bastard he yells back, laughin in his Deep Texan Voice....

I get home, Debs still at dog show, and i notice a huge puddle of water near house, and think, fark weve had LOADSA rain, yipeeeeeeee

Lets check the tanks... I GAMBOL pmsl upto the tank nrst kennels, concreter has gone home, musta been rained off....

I take the smoko from my pocket, yes THE SAME FRIGGIN FAG !! pop it in my gob, and am about to light it, when i notice my hose connected to tank is extremely tight, I investigate, and to my shock...

The friggin concreter had moved a ton of earth on to my hose !! the cheek... and the hose was s tight you could now play Happy Birthday in c minor on it....

I move the earth, still with my fag, on... obviously turnin tap off first... LOL I AINT SILLY !!!

I eventually move the soil, and the hose is FREE !!!

I go back to my tank, and wiggle my wonderful slinky hose agan !! yeee haahhh i fixed it !!

I light my fag, whilt simultaneously turnin the tap....



Ohhh


Poooo


A solitary jet of water, from the flange that connects the tap housing to the tank, ( which is full ) aimed mysteriously at my smoko, at a pressure one would guestimate was about 35000 psi !!!! extinguishes my fag, which i wretchedly tight lippedly lol, try and hold onto under the pressure from this water... my lips give way, the white part of my smoko lands about 20 zillion feet away, and im left with just a cyclindrical filter in my gob....

Dont ya just love AUSTRALIA !!!!!

Please dont gimme Karma , if you enjoy this true story, please note no chickens were harmed in it, until afterwards.. rolled up chicken legs make wicked CIGARS !!!!
bloody whinging pom
Luke I Amyofath is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 8:47 am
  #3  
Sunny Sydney
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
herrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond reputeherrchook has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by Timber Floor Au
Up this mornin 4:45am

Checked emails, coffee, 3 cigs a fart and then a run tut dunny !!

5:45am concreter turns up to lay base for new kennel block...

"Hey Steve " I cant cut these concrete posts out, need a breaka m8 !"

"Its cool borrow my MAKITA pride n joy jobby, chisel so sharp and clean yud swear id never used it dont tell wife "

"Sweeeeeet m8,goodonya "

Hey "Brent" I shouted, listen m8, debs has just gone to dog show, I havta be at work for 7:45 ish ... leave it all in ur capable hands huh ?"

"No wurries" , he smiles " Cya"

Off i drove, to Chapel Hill, down the Logan, up the gateway, thru Etoll ... stopping at Mt Gravatt to pick up supplies n follo the boss to the job "

Arrivin at 7:45 on the dot, i lit a smoko, jumped out of me ute, and WHOOOSH got hit by a massive sudden downpour, my LAST F****N fag drowned instantly. My shirt n shorts, no spare set, DRENCHED !

Argggggghhhhhhh

Get to the job, and we is workin for Mr ICanny MakeadecisionIfmelifedependedonit !!!

Having pissed about holdin a 20 kilo a/c head unit in the air for the prick, to decide which looks best and which position would suit the dynamics of his mitsubitchy inverter split system self ionising remote friggin control, i lose my rag !!

MATE ITS GOIN HERE OK !

"Sweet" he retorts n buggers off to play PS2

The rest of the mornin continued like that, even hanging a h/duty brkt outside, reqd his expert choice and pinpoint decisiveness...

This time, me and gaffer , who is 71 btw !! are holding a 72 kilo outdoor unit in mid air, so the prick can make his mind up as to what exact GPS trajectory would least give him UV problems, and be more sheltered from the westerleys on a Winters Mornin !!


MATE ITS GOIN HERE OR IM GONNA DROP IT !! OK!!!!!!!!!

"sweet" he says !!! n again buggers off, arya gerrin the picture ?? lol

We finish job, hes thrilled at his choice of position and commends our most polite and effortless installation, shuts door, and we bugger off....

As most ppl know, Chapel Hill is awash with Qld.ers and old ones at that, but its a nice area... The sun was shinin, and we were bakin, off we go...

Next job, is cancelled, due to flooding,,,, so its back to bosses in Mt Gravatt a beer a smoko ( my wet one from earlier had now dried on my Dash Mat) ....

We arrive at Mt Gravatt, I pop the fag in my gob, light it, and leap outta my Ute.... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED !!!????

YEP f****g boss, closes upn over garage door, which im standin under, and im FLOODED by all the rain that had collected off it... my fag wilts, and the glowy ember from its RED END diminishes... i sigh and look at the boss, n say very quietly, im goin home

Cya Monday Steve , n cheer up ya miserable bastard he yells back, laughin in his Deep Texan Voice....

I get home, Debs still at dog show, and i notice a huge puddle of water near house, and think, fark weve had LOADSA rain, yipeeeeeeee

Lets check the tanks... I GAMBOL pmsl upto the tank nrst kennels, concreter has gone home, musta been rained off....

I take the smoko from my pocket, yes THE SAME FRIGGIN FAG !! pop it in my gob, and am about to light it, when i notice my hose connected to tank is extremely tight, I investigate, and to my shock...

The friggin concreter had moved a ton of earth on to my hose !! the cheek... and the hose was s tight you could now play Happy Birthday in c minor on it....

I move the earth, still with my fag, on... obviously turnin tap off first... LOL I AINT SILLY !!!

I eventually move the soil, and the hose is FREE !!!

I go back to my tank, and wiggle my wonderful slinky hose agan !! yeee haahhh i fixed it !!

I light my fag, whilt simultaneously turnin the tap....



Ohhh


Poooo


A solitary jet of water, from the flange that connects the tap housing to the tank, ( which is full ) aimed mysteriously at my smoko, at a pressure one would guestimate was about 35000 psi !!!! extinguishes my fag, which i wretchedly tight lippedly lol, try and hold onto under the pressure from this water... my lips give way, the white part of my smoko lands about 20 zillion feet away, and im left with just a cyclindrical filter in my gob....

Dont ya just love AUSTRALIA !!!!!

Please dont gimme Karma , if you enjoy this true story, please note no chickens were harmed in it, until afterwards.. rolled up chicken legs make wicked CIGARS !!!!
As my old Gran says - "it never rains but it pours"
herrchook is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 12:01 pm
  #4  
 
Centurion's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 4,917
Centurion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond reputeCenturion has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Oh I'm sorry mate but I pissed myself laughing at this. I can only say - go get a beer
Centurion is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 12:48 pm
  #5  
sel
~~~
 
sel's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,849
sel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond reputesel has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

PMSL Do you think that someone may be telling you something .... like give up the fags (she says lighting one up )
sel is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 12:57 pm
  #6  
Love Tiffany's
 
Welshie's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Figtree, NSW
Posts: 667
Welshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud ofWelshie has much to be proud of
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !



You really need to give those cancer sticks a miss mate!
Welshie is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 2:35 pm
  #7  
Live it not dream it!!
 
happy chappy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2004
Location: On the sunshine coast
Posts: 329
happy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

[QUOTE=Arrivin at 7:45 on the dot, i lit a smoko, jumped out of me ute, and WHOOOSH got hit by a massive sudden downpour, my LAST F****N fag drowned instantly.[/QUOTE]

I have an idea-you know those cocktail umbrellas you get in crappy restaurants?
If you stick one through your ciggy it will stop the rain putting it out

The only downside is you can only smoke half your ciggy before the umbrella falls off
happy chappy is offline  
Old Nov 5th 2005, 2:53 pm
  #8  
BE Forum Addict
 
nickyjohnt's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Ridgewood , Perth
Posts: 3,134
nickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond reputenickyjohnt has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

love it.... very funny !!!!


Nicky
nickyjohnt is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2005, 8:53 pm
  #9  
Banned
Thread Starter
 
Timber Floor Au's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Morayfield - The Posh Part
Posts: 10,138
Timber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond reputeTimber Floor Au has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by happy chappy
I have an idea-you know those cocktail umbrellas you get in crappy restaurants?
If you stick one through your ciggy it will stop the rain putting it out

The only downside is you can only smoke half your ciggy before the umbrella falls off
I like your thinkin !!! LOL
Timber Floor Au is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2005, 9:10 pm
  #10  
is happy to be here :)
 
Tiawamutu's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Somerly, Perth
Posts: 4,800
Tiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond reputeTiawamutu has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by happy chappy
I have an idea-you know those cocktail umbrellas you get in crappy restaurants?
If you stick one through your ciggy it will stop the rain putting it out

The only downside is you can only smoke half your ciggy before the umbrella falls off
Unless he gets one of those umbrella hats!
Tiawamutu is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2005, 9:18 pm
  #11  
Live it not dream it!!
 
happy chappy's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2004
Location: On the sunshine coast
Posts: 329
happy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of lighthappy chappy is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by Tiawamutu
Unless he gets one of those umbrella hats!
Even better the umbrella hat with the beer cans ontop and a straw to suck through
happy chappy is offline  
Old Nov 6th 2005, 9:24 pm
  #12  
BE Forum Addict
 
glittababe's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Noosa Heads
Posts: 3,507
glittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond reputeglittababe has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Oh what a DAY !

Originally Posted by herrchook
As my old Gran says - "it never rains but it pours"
What????? Speak english!!!!
glittababe is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.