CornishPasty

I have been hit with a bit of a situation. I moved over here 1yr ago next week to be with my Aussie g/f but unfortunatley it never really took off the way it did back home and last week we split up and she moved out.

Consequently, everything I have done here, getting work, settling in, buying all that furniture ,to my friend base and family - all revolve around her. All of a sudden I feel a long way from home and I am asking myself what I have to stay for. To be honest, i will deal with the relationship side, although its obviously a very sad thing for me, but the social element is now up in the air. I have alot of friends in London, and a job to go back to (1yr sabbatical)

I do have a few friends outside of the exs circle, literally a few though, and if I stay I know I have a lot of hard work and difficult times ahead moving on from this.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did things work out? Its hit me hard, as my whole life over the past few years has been working towards this and now i am a little unsure what to do.

I really want to stay, I am here, its so beautiful....like today getting up at 6:30am and sitting on my deck with a coffee reading my book with the blue sky. I have taken fishing back up and am much more relaxed.

Sorry to be so glum, I am trying to be very positive though! I am going home in 3 wks for a wedding and worry I might not come back!!!

mlbonner

Hi CP,

I feel for you, I really do - is that 'it' then with your gf or is there a chance that some time living separately may actually bring you back together?

I guess the first question you need to address is whether or not you actually can live here, will your visa allow it? If not, would you be looking at trying to change to a different visa, remember also that if you're here on a spouse visa and dont have PR you're kinda meant to inform the DIMIA that your relationship has ended

It might be good to just leave things a little up in the air at the moment as you're going home. Maybe talk to friends back there who know you best, see how you feel being surrounded by familiar things and make no rash decisions.

Good luck in whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be the right decision.

biggy

Sorry to hear of ur predicament CP, so firstly big hugs from me

Only you can decide what to do for the best, just take ur time and why not take the time in the UK, meet up with all ur old mates etc and then make the decision, cos sometimes after being away from what u knew as "home" for a while....its kinda different when you go back there....everything and everyone will have moved on!!!!

You need to decide where u feel the most comfortable.

I wish you all the luck in the world, with whatever you decide

Stay safe
Heather

andrew63

Been there and done that! Aussie g/f turned into a totally different person when here!
In my situation, I left and had nothing but a suitcase of clothes. Sad, depressed, lonely.
Was living in Canberra at the time so hired a car and went to Sydney!
Cut a long story short, a few months later met an Irish lass on holiday visa!
Fell in love. Went back to Ireland with her when her visa expired.
I was very unsavvy about visas at that time and lost my PR for having no RRV etc.
Few years down the track in Ireland, I get an International Sales job for Asia and Oceania and come back to Australia 3 times a year on business.
A business colleague, sponsored me in. Wife and 3 kids now living happily in Brisbane!

Moral of the story, be positive, you never know what's round the corner!

Just do what you feel is right and go with the flow.........

Andrew

Un-Co

I know its a cliche but time will tell. I was very nearly in the same boat - and it was one of the hardest times ever. We sorted out our differences in the end but it could so easily have gone the other way - and I had no idea what to do. I agree you should spend some time back home with your mates. I reckon it'll help you make a clearer decision.
And take heart from the stary above - that fate bugger can work in strange ways...

ABCDiamond

Sorry to hear about this, hope things work out for you whichever direction you go in.
I suppose your visa conditions "may' decide this for you anyway.

If you do manage to stay, do you become eligible for citizenship in a years time or is the visa such that it is longer ?

Good luck

saraliz

I had nearly the exact same experience as Andrew... I came out to Australia to be with my Aussie boyfriend. After 6 months living together in Oz, we came to the realisation that things were not meant to be & so I was left starting from scratch - no place to live, most of our friends were "his" friends, etc. I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and do some travelling around Australia. I had a brilliant time, & experienced so many things I didn't have time to "ponder" over the ex. I ended up meeting an English bloke in Perth (who was on a WHV). Went to the UK to be with him. Now it's three years later & we're both happily back in Australia as PR's...!!!

Un-Co

I love hearing all these stories. People have such interesting tales. Hope they all made things seem a little brighter CP.
Lots of luck with whatever happens.

bondipom

First thing is if you want to stay you need a visa. Can your work sponsor you? No visa you are going back. Second what is it in Oz that has given you a sense of wellbeing? Can that be achieved in the UK? I think it was swiss tony who was in the same situation and is now enjoying life in the UK. It may look horrible now but good can come out of these situations.

Good luck

Good luck

wmoore

Hi Pete. Sorry to hear this. I'm sure it must be hard after a fairly short time in Oz and I hope you can come to terms with it. Like someone else suggested, why not take the opportunity to travel Oz - work / finances permitting obviously? And as Jeremy would say "get your citizenship before you leave the country"

When you're heading 'home' for the wedding, is this your first trip back to the UK? Maybe you'll see things in a different light after that.

Good luck whatever you decide.

wmoore

I'm pretty sure that CP came to Oz on a 136 so that's not a problem.

Lucyemma5

Go with what feels right, it seems to me that you really want to stay, so stay. Quality of life is what is important, it seems that you have moved on. Would it really be so terrible to stay for a year or so, see how things work out. If your mates are true mates a year won't make any difference. I know a couple of people who came back expecting to pick up where they left off, but once they returned it wasn't the same, they had moved on whilst their friends hadn't.

Just something to think about. Good luck and big love whatever you decide.

Lucy

kiwichild

Hard decision. Can you maybe extend your sabbatical another year or so till you can get citizenship here?

Living in a country like Australia without a social network can be very hard, especially when you have good friends, family, and familar surroundings and culture back in UK.

Maybe see if you can extend your trip back for the wedding a little and see how you feel while you are there.

Good Luck

wargod

Sounds to me like you have answered your own question !!!

teach

Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't make any decisions until you go back home for the 3 weeks. I'm sure after a visit away from the whole relationship thing you'll see things much clearer. At the moment you are dealing with the split and trying to work out your future at the same time. Deal with the split first. Hope this helps, big hugs
Sarah