tiredwithtwins

Hi there,
Well, i suppose not many of you know my situation - as you can see i have been a member of this forum for quite a few years now! we initially joined whilst looking into emigrating back in 2003, and over the following few years we came across obstacles and problems which meant we had to keep delaying applying.
Anywhoos, in jan 06 we decided this would be the year we did 'it', and started to compile tra stuff for omy other half who is a time served plasterer.
Then my mum, with whom i didnt have the best relationship with, had a serious stroke that saw her hospitalised for 6 months, and eventually discharged home - with me as her main carer (im a nurse).
So, we had to make the decision - carry on with move to aus or stay and take care of her?; well, as we are such a small family, i had to stay.
Now over the years i have read hundreds of posts by people who have been in the same position, and have taken either path.
....all i can say is im glad i stayed. my relationship with my mum wasnt brill, but i did what i could for her for over two years - i did her shopping, cleaning, running her about to hospital and doctor appointments, chiropody, writing group, out for lunch/tea and visits to friends etc ... i even had to make the decision to only work very part time to fit in with her needs and had to work my 3 kids schedule in to fit in with her needs.

my mum died yesterday in hospital, quite peacefully and with dignity.

and now i feel i have done my best, and am able to move on with our family plans once more.

my point to this thread is that, yes - you do have to live your life and put your own family first, but sometimes you need the closure too and had I left for aus and left her i wouldnt have that closure. I am very much at peace with her now, and feel that a very sad chapter has now closed and i am able to move on.

I love my mum very much and i will miss her, but i feel i now have closure and feel i have the freedom to move on.

thanks for reading,
sue xx

FlirtyKnickers

Hi Sue...just came across your post and and im so sorry for your loss..i wish you and your family all the best for the future and your new life in Aus..my thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless

Mally Lass

Sue, I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you xxx

It's a very good post and I understand completely what you mean by needing closure on things.

I wish you luck in whichever way you move forward

LoobyLoo!

Sue,
Sending our condolences x Wish you all the best with your move and all the happiness in the world, caring for your mother like that was selfless and you should be very proud of yourself.

ozzieclare2b

so sorry to hear of your loss hun, you are in my thought s. I know how hard decsions can be my dad is disabled and although my mums his main carer i feel so guilty going. Thankfully i have other family around too but you made the best decision you could x

gjs

Sue,my condolences to you and your family.

Diane

sonlymewalter

Sue you are one helluva caring daughter to have sacrificed those things to do the right thing by your mum. In a way it probably made you closer and if you do decide to come here, at least you got to put closure to the relationship in a good way so no emotional "baggage" to bring with you.

Our deepest condolences for what must be a terribly hard time Sue. You did what was right for you and your family.

That is the best anyone can do.

Our thoughts are with you.

silverski

Sue,

Just found your thread, Our thoughts and Prayers are with you at this time.

God Bless.

egghead4

bless you sue, i'm glad you feel you made the right decision.

best of luck with all your plans
bec

Racht70

Your post has just had me in tears, what a selfless wonderful person you are, to put everything on hold for your dear mum.Im so sorry for your loss, I wish you all the best for your future coz its what you deserve from now on , it really is. (((((((((tired with twins ))))))))))))xxx

Devonfamily

Just read your thread! Very sorry to hear about losing your loving mum. I did the same for my mum when I was 26. I was 5mths pregnant with my son and when my mum passed away my baby was 10 days old. Hardest time of my life.

I can understand what you are saying about now being able to move on. It is very hard, but you know in your heart you've done the best you could for your mum and have those memories forever.

I agree that now it's time for you to concentrate on your family and go where life takes you.

All the best and my thoughts are with you.

regards
Maz

tiredwithtwins

aw thanks for all the good wishes ... i wasnt looking for sympathy, just wanted others to know that it does work out if you stay in the uk, as i know many people struggle with what to do when faced with the same situation.

id been wanting to move to aus for years ... spent many months as a single person travelling round aus, so naturally wanted to go back now i have a partner and kids we were lucky enough to spend 4 weeks last year over in adelaide catching up with my partners family, and a couple of weeks in brisbane catching up with some lovely friends i have made thorugh this site

guess what im trying to say is, yes live life for the now but its ok to sometimes put others first and wait for your time to come ... hopefully our time is now! (if only dimia would reduce the working hours requirement to 15 instead of 20!!!)

thanks again,

sue xxx

seang

Hi Sue,
Sorry to hear of your loss. Your one of the old school of '03 on here. Hope you get to make it over now it will be all the sweeter (I mean that in the best possible way).

tiredwithtwins

lol, thanks sean,

sue xxx

mark 'n' joe

hi Sue

Soooo sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.
good luck with whatever you decide to do. All the best

Joexxx