hubbard

We left the UK nearly 5 years ago and have spent 3 yrs in NZ and nearly 2 in Oz. We have been fortunate in that neither myself or my hubby have struggled for work. We are financially solvent to a similiar level to what we had in the UK. We have made friends and enjoyed great holidays in both countries we have lived in but I really am now wondering is living in Oz worth what we gave up (in terms of family and friends) in the UK.

In comparing the two countries as places to live i really think that if I could replicate the exact same set of friends and family we had in the UK to OZ my preference would be to live in Oz. But the fact is we can't and I am now thinking that family and friends are far more important than the place that you live. I guess what has really got me thinking about this is we are expecting our first child in early Oct and the thought of nobody, other than my hubby, who really knows me being there to see my baby is really sad. Having people out to visit does in no way compensate. Visits with family and friends whilst great are very stressful as you have to pack so much in. Plus its not helped by the fact that we only have a 2 bed townhouse so once we have the baby, anyone visiting us will have to stay in a hotel or a holiday let - not great.

I just feel really torn. We never left the UK due to hating it but left for an adventure and to see a bit more of the world. We kept a property in London so still have a foothold on the property ladder. I just feel very undecided. We like Oz but we liked the UK too. Does anyone else feel like this?

Australia_bound?

We're looking forward to adventure and will try and enjoy it as long as it lasts. Not looking to escape anything just for something different to what we've experienced all our lives. We don't expect to miss our families long term as loads of them already in Aus and nearest & dearest following us out over the next decade or so.
Hope you decide where you feel most comfortable in living, as life is about choices. Good luck whatever you choose

TraceyW

There's a lot of people who feel just like you do, myself included. We moved here almost three years ago and I've never settled well. There's nothing wrong with Perth, it's given us a good life materialistically, but to me there's much more important things in life than that.

It has taken a move to the other side of the world to put things into perspective for me. Our extended family cannot be replaced, or substituted, by a seductive lifestyle of big house/pool/beach and sunshine; they mean more to us than that. I want my children to have grandparents; and not just on the end of the phone or the occasional trip; something a lot more solid. I think that is far more important in a childs life than trips to the beach or park.

Abject_Rage

I really appreciate what the OP is saying here and, while this is my SEVENTH international relocation, I often find myself musing along similar lines. Unlike the OP, I quite actively disliked many aspects to life in the UK and found the long cold, dark, wet winters very depressing, so feel we enjoy a much better standard of living here in Melbourne.

That said, the water problems here have made me have second thoughts and now I find myself wondering if coming to Oz was the right thing to do. The Govt management of the situation is hopeless, without any clear resolve to do anything but, just like the traffic situation, just pussyfooting around tackling the issues properly. It won't matter too much for me, be dead before it does, but it worries me that my kids may grow up in a virtual desert, with draconian water usage restrictions and exorbitant prices, if we stay.

NickyC

I think your current quandary is common amongst newly pregnant people.
All of a sudden the pull of family and friends in the UK becomes stronger than it did previously.

Just beware of an equally common problem. You go back to the UK to be amongst these people who have inexplicably become so important to you and so your child can grow up knowing their extended family. Doesn't take too long before the excitement of having you back wears off, family and friends stop visiting and take up their own lives again. In the meantime you're back where you started and before long you're making plans to pong back to Australia.

Check out the stories from the current round of ping-pongers (Scrawni 2, HiddenPaw, ShozInOz, RooksieJ) who've all done exactly what you're thinking of doing - moved back for 'family' reasons - and are now all talking about coming back again.

chels

I started typing up a positive answer, but stopped... because I know how you feel. Last night, being a Sunday, on the phone back home, hearing about what our friends are up to with their children etc and missing all that, and then telling in-laws about our hoped for new addition later in the year (we've put our name down for a dog due to be born in August - in laws were almost as excited as if we're telling them about a new grandchild) made me think that we're missing out on things and Australia hasn't replaced them, unfortunately.

But I do know that hormones can affect your ability to think entirely rationally, so don't make any decisions until after the baby arrives!

Deadmeat

You'd leave because of the "water crisis"?

Why did you leave the other six countries ... increase in reported muggings, health service crisis, Top of The Tops getting canned?

Really, if such a thing is causing you to SERIOUSLY have second thoughts then maybe you probably have issues to sort-out other than which country you happen to reside in.

Maybe your criss-crossing the globe has actually contributed to the thinning of the Ozone Layer, the increase in temperatures and ... hey ... a lack of water!

Pomster

we have just had our first baby out here with no family around. In hospital I did feel very alone as all the Italian and Greek ladies around me had huge numbers of visitors all day long. However when I wanted to sleep, it seemed like a big advantage! One Greek new mum told me she was over the family constant presence.

I have found that there are people in similar circumstances (amazing how many come out of the woodwork once bub is here) and have met some fab supportive other new mums.

The difficult bit is not having someone to leave a small (6 weeks) baby with for an hour or two, but I know her future will be better here than in UK.

Good luck, but wait until you have had your baby before making decisions as those pregnancy hormones do strange things- plus health care is so much better here.

Est

We put our baby plans on hold until we got to oz. We came out to Oz November last year with the intentions of having babies straight away. We still have not settled and are really homesick so much so that we are going home end of the year or early next year. We have decided to wait again until we are home in the UK to have babies. I feel like our lives are constantly on hold, waiting for TRA, waiting for Visa, getting here and now wanting to go home.

I feel the constant urge to go home so it must be really hard for you.

I speak to my 5 year old niece at least once a week and long to be home close by to her and my nephew who will be born by the end of next month. She told me last week she will never forget us as we are her fav auntie and uncle - that deffinately brought a tear to my eye.

Big Galah

Yes, yes. Know exactly what you mean. Some of out best friends are in London and we just haven't managed to meet the same like-minded kind of people here in two and a half years.

But be wary of only remembering the best bits, conveniently forgetting the miserable cold grey mornings, the walk to the tube station to stand on an overcrowded platform to listen to an announcement about why the train that you pay a fortune for is delayed today (for all the complaints about Sydney's rail network, it's luxury compared to the tube), the price of petrol, huge roundabouts with no traffic lights and you want to turn right, all the talk of "rip-off Britain", the smell of piss and KFC remains strewn around the alleys like a caveman's home, the downright nasty feel of some streets a stone's throw away from the trendy areas, dodgy minicabs and dodgier kebabs?

We want it all, you see, that's the problem.

I reckon here is a good compromise.

Big.

chels

Sydney's rail system was this week reported to be one of the worst in the world (including the tube):

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21418282-2,00.html

Vash the Stampede

Although...

I've never been to Sydney, so I don't know what the rail network is like. But he does have a point.

chels

Well, if Morris Iemma thinks it isn't a valid comparison, why on earth did CityRail pay rail experts from Hong Kong 'to compare Sydney with metro systems around the world for efficiency, cost effectiveness, reliability and maintenance'?!!

Speargun

One piece of advice...make sure you stay till after the baby is born..we are expecting our 2nd child in a couple of weeks time and are dreading the thought of the birth in a NHS hospital - my job involves meeting a lot of new mums..about 6 or so each week and many...in fact the overwhelming majority have had poor or even life threatening circumstances. Granted I have no experience of the Australian system but the birth of our first child in leeds was a near life death situation for both mother and baby and the registrar and mid wife started having a fight in front of us...not reassuring at all! My sister has now had 2 children in Oz and has found the places clean staff excellent and no shortage of staff....in the UK there are trained nurses available just no money to pay them...posts remain unfilled and the remaining staff get spread even thinner! The system is positively dangerous and is reprehensible. The TV program last week gave a true picture of what things are really like. Like you I am fully aware many things ARE better in the UK the NHS is sadly not one of them! In an ideal World the whole of your family would emigrate, they are the only things we shall miss...

Big Galah

I've also heard the opposite i.e. have the child in the UK as the public health system here is not up to scratch.

As it turns out, we left while pregnant and our daughter was born in The Canberra Hospital in the public system (not private). I can't say there was anything wrong with it...

Also, with a few years of experience of London's Tube and Sydney's rail, I have to say Sydeny's service is far better - but I am talking North Shore to CBD, so I realise that's not the whole network.

Big.