Not going home, but........
#31
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: To the world you are one person...to one person you may be the world
Posts: 873
Re: Not going home, but........
Eloquently put Polly, and I agree with you too tracey.d
I wonder if people would be so darn right nasty, belittling, agressive and horrible if that discussion had taken place at a 'meet', face-to-face and all that.
Maybe people are hiding behind their screen, and the anonyminity (sp?!) gives them power to, as someone put it 'stomp' on someone else's perspective. Certainly would have ruined the atmosphere, and I reckon the odd drink would've been chucked, along with a bit of toe-to-toe action....and that'd just have been the women!!
I wonder if people would be so darn right nasty, belittling, agressive and horrible if that discussion had taken place at a 'meet', face-to-face and all that.
Maybe people are hiding behind their screen, and the anonyminity (sp?!) gives them power to, as someone put it 'stomp' on someone else's perspective. Certainly would have ruined the atmosphere, and I reckon the odd drink would've been chucked, along with a bit of toe-to-toe action....and that'd just have been the women!!
#32
Re: Not going home, but........
I am intrigued by these constant references to the Banana Diaries... does anyone have a URL, please?
#33
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2004
Location: To the world you are one person...to one person you may be the world
Posts: 873
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by Vash the Stampede
I am intrigued by these constant references to the Banana Diaries... does anyone have a URL, please?
hopefully this'll work for ya! just use advanced search, and most stuff will come up with a couple of key words
BTW, get yourself a pot of tea...it's a couple of pages long!
#34
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by logan
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...banana+diaries
hopefully this'll work for ya! just use advanced search, and most stuff will come up with a couple of key words
BTW, get yourself a pot of tea...it's a couple of pages long!
hopefully this'll work for ya! just use advanced search, and most stuff will come up with a couple of key words
BTW, get yourself a pot of tea...it's a couple of pages long!
#35
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by A dogs life
Its the way the forum works for some reason. I've noticed there are themes. One day there are lots of threads about schools, the next day its houses, the next day about medicare, the next about having kids in Oz etc . It must be forum dynamics or something. I could write a thesis on it!
Todays theme seems to be or have been the going home versus not going home debate and abusive posters.
Or maybe I just read the threads that interest me!!
Todays theme seems to be or have been the going home versus not going home debate and abusive posters.
Or maybe I just read the threads that interest me!!
#36
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by spalen
Freud's collective Psyche (or was it 'id') theory applied to internet forums. That'd be interesting. ;-)
#37
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by Vash the Stampede
I thought it was Jung's "Collective Unconscious."
#38
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,487
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by spalen
You could be right, My A-level was 16 yrs ago and my own unconscious is progressively advancing.
I only did 1 semester of psychology at Uni, and that was only because the course was mostly girls, and mostly attractive
So I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I could do a thesis on the toxic effect of 70 girls perfumes in a small psychology lecture room though.
#39
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by A dogs life
I only did 1 semester of psychology at Uni, and that was only because the course was mostly girls, and mostly attractive
So I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I could do a thesis on the toxic effect of 70 girls perfumes in a small psychology lecture room though.
So I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I could do a thesis on the toxic effect of 70 girls perfumes in a small psychology lecture room though.
The pervy psych teacher managed (as with all freud) to make this a reference to her being frustrated at not being able to lose her virginity with her boyfriend and that the dream was telling her to let go and relax about it. The whole class pretty much were squirming like crazy at what this guy was coming up with ,it was pretty amusing at the time. Mind you , if you said you'd dreamed about drowning in a vat of smarties and having to eat your way out he'd come up with an equally torrid interpretation I am sure.
#40
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by Pollyana
We've all read the recent threads from people who have packed up and gone back to the UK; they have their own reasons for it and I wish other posters would respect these reasons. Equally there have been some great threads lately from people who are settled here and happy - again, they have their own reasons for this, and are due the same respect.
Why are so many people so quick to judge others by their standards? Everyone is an individual, and everyone is entitled to their own views about how/where to live. And I'll bet a lot of the returnees have reasons that they don't make public, as well. Life's rich tapestry is made that way because we are all individual, and no one has the right to judge anyone else's reasons - because what is true for one person may be way off the mark when looking at what the next person wants out of life.
Yes, I'm waffling, but I hope some of it makes sense. I just want a few posters to learn a bit more tolerance - I guess thats the word. The forum exists for positive/negative/realistic views, and they all have an equal right to be written here.
I feel that also some people do not realise the heart-seeking that goes on when someone is not entirely happy in a new country. If some people knew what others go through in order to try to build a life in a new country, maybe they would not be so quick to condemn people for leaving.
When you know what its like to fight against constant ill-health, and discomfort, to feel lonely and in need of friends that understand you, to be totally baffled by systems and rules and methods of working; then you will start to understand why some people give up and leave.
This country is not paradise, no country is. This country does not suit everyone - no country does. Everyone has the right to make a choice to return or to stay and it takes guts to post their feelings about it. Have some respect, people, and instead of criticising, put yourselves in the shoes of the people writing the threads.
Polly
(sticking it out against the odds cos she's madly in love with The Bloke)
Why are so many people so quick to judge others by their standards? Everyone is an individual, and everyone is entitled to their own views about how/where to live. And I'll bet a lot of the returnees have reasons that they don't make public, as well. Life's rich tapestry is made that way because we are all individual, and no one has the right to judge anyone else's reasons - because what is true for one person may be way off the mark when looking at what the next person wants out of life.
Yes, I'm waffling, but I hope some of it makes sense. I just want a few posters to learn a bit more tolerance - I guess thats the word. The forum exists for positive/negative/realistic views, and they all have an equal right to be written here.
I feel that also some people do not realise the heart-seeking that goes on when someone is not entirely happy in a new country. If some people knew what others go through in order to try to build a life in a new country, maybe they would not be so quick to condemn people for leaving.
When you know what its like to fight against constant ill-health, and discomfort, to feel lonely and in need of friends that understand you, to be totally baffled by systems and rules and methods of working; then you will start to understand why some people give up and leave.
This country is not paradise, no country is. This country does not suit everyone - no country does. Everyone has the right to make a choice to return or to stay and it takes guts to post their feelings about it. Have some respect, people, and instead of criticising, put yourselves in the shoes of the people writing the threads.
Polly
(sticking it out against the odds cos she's madly in love with The Bloke)
I dont miss UK , but i do miss people, some family , odd friends but not all.
We personally dont miss family get togethers, as the last couple before we left, there where fights, so now i dont have to make excuses not to go.
How many people go back to UK and then realise what a mistake they made, my mum and dad where 10 pound poms in the 70s, stayed 4 years then took us back to UK and they always regretted it. They where so pleased when we came here and look forward to some great holidays. As for couples that split up, they probably would have any way, so many come over because they think a new life will sort out their marriage problems, WRONG it is a stressfull process, and it will break your relationship, you have to be in a strong relationship to do this[ i think so anyway, that is my opinion]. We look forward to a wonderful life here, but never say never ? Denise
always regretted it. They are so pleased we came here and love their hols here, and cant wait to come back.
#41
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,347
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by cranni
MYson has asthma, but the climate suits him, we have been here WA south west 9 months, he is much healthier the air is so clean, its beautiful.
I dont miss UK , but i do miss people, some family , odd friends but not all.
We personally dont miss family get togethers, as the last couple before we left, there where fights, so now i dont have to make excuses not to go.
How many people go back to UK and then realise what a mistake they made, my mum and dad where 10 pound poms in the 70s, stayed 4 years then took us back to UK and they always regretted it. They where so pleased when we came here and look forward to some great holidays. As for couples that split up, they probably would have any way, so many come over because they think a new life will sort out their marriage problems, WRONG it is a stressfull process, and it will break your relationship, you have to be in a strong relationship to do this[ i think so anyway, that is my opinion]. We look forward to a wonderful life here, but never say never ? Denise
always regretted it. They are so pleased we came here and love their hols here, and cant wait to come back.
I dont miss UK , but i do miss people, some family , odd friends but not all.
We personally dont miss family get togethers, as the last couple before we left, there where fights, so now i dont have to make excuses not to go.
How many people go back to UK and then realise what a mistake they made, my mum and dad where 10 pound poms in the 70s, stayed 4 years then took us back to UK and they always regretted it. They where so pleased when we came here and look forward to some great holidays. As for couples that split up, they probably would have any way, so many come over because they think a new life will sort out their marriage problems, WRONG it is a stressfull process, and it will break your relationship, you have to be in a strong relationship to do this[ i think so anyway, that is my opinion]. We look forward to a wonderful life here, but never say never ? Denise
always regretted it. They are so pleased we came here and love their hols here, and cant wait to come back.
Sue
#42
been there........
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 349
Re: Not going home, but........
Polly, that was a wonderful post and you are to be congratulated for speaking your truth so clearly and sincerely.
I think most of us, even those who've been here longest, would have to acknowledge that there have been so many hard times along the way, as well as the good; times when, had they not felt trapped by circumstances, they would have fled back to the familiarity and perceived security of the life they'd left behind. I know I would! And therefore don't feel I have any right to criticize either those who stay or those who go.
My choice was made many years ago. I respect your right to choose for yourselves; please accord others the same courtesy.
I think most of us, even those who've been here longest, would have to acknowledge that there have been so many hard times along the way, as well as the good; times when, had they not felt trapped by circumstances, they would have fled back to the familiarity and perceived security of the life they'd left behind. I know I would! And therefore don't feel I have any right to criticize either those who stay or those who go.
My choice was made many years ago. I respect your right to choose for yourselves; please accord others the same courtesy.
#43
Re: Not going home, but........
I feel that also some people do not realise the heart-seeking that goes on when someone is not entirely happy in a new country. If some people knew what others go through in order to try to build a life in a new country, maybe they would not be so quick to condemn people for leaving.
When you know what its like to fight against constant ill-health, and discomfort, to feel lonely and in need of friends that understand you, to be totally baffled by systems and rules and methods of working; then you will start to understand why some people give up and leave.
This country is not paradise, no country is. This country does not suit everyone - no country does. Everyone has the right to make a choice to return or to stay and it takes guts to post their feelings about it. Have some respect, people, and instead of criticising, put yourselves in the shoes of the people writing the threads.
[FONT=Arial Black]
Well put Polly......
I get sick of people slagging of the "returning to UK forum" . I just hope that people learn to respect one anothers choices. I have alot of time for those who stay and work through tough times etc. I do know as I have been there myself and for those who return ....they all have their reasons ,as did I.
There are some brilliant posters on here full of wit, info and kindness.Keep them coming..!!
For you Polly I wish you better health and stay happy and in luvvvvvvve.
Take care
P
When you know what its like to fight against constant ill-health, and discomfort, to feel lonely and in need of friends that understand you, to be totally baffled by systems and rules and methods of working; then you will start to understand why some people give up and leave.
This country is not paradise, no country is. This country does not suit everyone - no country does. Everyone has the right to make a choice to return or to stay and it takes guts to post their feelings about it. Have some respect, people, and instead of criticising, put yourselves in the shoes of the people writing the threads.
[FONT=Arial Black]
Well put Polly......
I get sick of people slagging of the "returning to UK forum" . I just hope that people learn to respect one anothers choices. I have alot of time for those who stay and work through tough times etc. I do know as I have been there myself and for those who return ....they all have their reasons ,as did I.
There are some brilliant posters on here full of wit, info and kindness.Keep them coming..!!
For you Polly I wish you better health and stay happy and in luvvvvvvve.
Take care
P
#44
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 582
Re: Not going home, but........
Very Well said Polly. I think it is true a lot of people say things on here they never would to another person's face precisely because it is an online forum. Also what one person types with a smile on their face as a bit of humour can be totally misinterpreted by the 'recipient' or others as there is no way of knowing what way it was meant if you don't know the other person.
People are very quick here to make assumptions about others circumstances and criticise but then don't like it when they are on the receiving end. It's something that has led me to frequent this forum a lot less than I was and quite often not posting to a thread.
I am happy here in Australia and have my reasons for disliking/leaving the UK, they are personal reasons and everyone is different which some people on here don't seem to consider. Ramming your views down others throats is fairly immature and intolerant at the best of times.
I read both the Australia and the Going back to UK forums when I do come on here and would never dream of slagging someone off who is going back, in fact anyone doing so has a lot of guts to admit 'it's not for them' and face going back to an uncertain future. By the same token I don't expect to get a load of abuse for saying I think Aus is a great place where I am far happier than I ever was in the UK. I don't wear rose tinted specs and some people just need to accept everyone is different (what a dull place the world would be if we weren't) and entitled to their own opinion whatever that may be.
People are very quick here to make assumptions about others circumstances and criticise but then don't like it when they are on the receiving end. It's something that has led me to frequent this forum a lot less than I was and quite often not posting to a thread.
I am happy here in Australia and have my reasons for disliking/leaving the UK, they are personal reasons and everyone is different which some people on here don't seem to consider. Ramming your views down others throats is fairly immature and intolerant at the best of times.
I read both the Australia and the Going back to UK forums when I do come on here and would never dream of slagging someone off who is going back, in fact anyone doing so has a lot of guts to admit 'it's not for them' and face going back to an uncertain future. By the same token I don't expect to get a load of abuse for saying I think Aus is a great place where I am far happier than I ever was in the UK. I don't wear rose tinted specs and some people just need to accept everyone is different (what a dull place the world would be if we weren't) and entitled to their own opinion whatever that may be.
#45
Re: Not going home, but........
Originally Posted by DagBoy
I think you used too many
Cheers
DagBoy
Cheers
DagBoy
Must stay away from the PC tonight as the latest brew is really nice, first time I've done a Cider brew