leonard

Not permanently though!

We got the visa grant a couple of weeks ago and immediately put the house on the market. Unbelievably it sold within 48hrs and for the asking price. My wife, understandably, does not want to take our kids (the oldest one in particular - 2 1/2) into rented accomodation in our town, as he absolutely loves our home and she feels that it would be far too stressful for him to walk past to the park, beach etc., and not be able to go "home" afterwards.
Our target date for moving to Brisbane was January 06 as I have also sold a business and anticipated a six month turnaround for the sale of both house and business.
The problem is I have been kept on a retainer at work for 6 months as part of the sale.

Has anyone else had to do this, and if so did everything pan out okay?

I can think of nothing worse than spending the few months after September without my family and I don't think my wife fully appreciates the enormous levels of stress that she (and me and the kids) will go through if this happens.

I know it's only for a short period of time, but it's not like we are just moving to Spain and can contact each other, and family, at any time.

I will cope with this but my family will have no one when I leave them to come back to England, so any contacts in Brisbane would be greatly appreciated.

Martin

bondipom

Who is the primary applicant as that person has to enter Australia first before the rest of the family? Can't help with the Mrs though.

floss

In my experience, two and a half year olds adapt incredibly quickly - provided that the adults do too.....

I think it would be much MORE of a wrench to move to a new country/continent/hemisphere where everything (including the food, tv, shape of the houses etc etc) is different, and for daddy to then have to leave for, what is, for a small child... forever!!!

My husband used to travel a lot and I found it hard to keep my sense of humour with two small children with all the back-up of friends, family and familiar surroundings.

I can understand your wife - if our house sale went through quickly I wouldn't want to hang about either, but IMHO I think it better (BY FAR) to wait, and make a proper, joint start when you can in the new year.... rather than her first few months to be scary, hard, stressful and lonely - and possibly regret the whole thing.

Good luck whatever you decide and congrats on the visa and house sale!!

leonard

I am the primary applicant and the plan (at the moment) is for us all to travel there and me return after 2 (possibly 3) weeks. Whether I could actually leave them there is another matter.

leonard

Floss,

I am of the same opinion as you however, I have to let her have the lead with the kids and will go with whatever she wants to do. I would much prefer to all arrive and stay there together, as the experience and stress for her (all of us really) may sour her opinion of Australia.
On a purely selfish note, my oldest boy is my best mate and it would be hell not having him. Also the youngest is only 14 weeks and I will miss so much of his early development.

At least I'll still have the dog!

JJJHM

Hi, I can help a bit with communitcation.. there is a company called telediscount http://www.telediscount.co.uk that only charge 1p per minute to phone Oz... I rang my friend in Brisbane a couple of weeks ago was on the phone for 25.34mins and the cost was just 31p (the call was made mid morning mid week..)... that's 5p connection and 1p per minute.. I am with ntl but and was quite disbelieving, but it worked!!

However I hope that you don't have to be apart... gook luck!!

Julie

floss

My jaw is still on the ground - you sound lovely, and I'm sure you're wife is too, and she is probably incredibly strong and capeable.... but IS SHE BONKERS??? ( No offence mean, honest).... To try to do it all alone is tough. With a toddler, SERIOUSLY mind-bogglingly tough (they can be slightly trying (!) at the best of times, but never forget that in-built radar that alerts them when you're seriously about to lose your grip... so they can scream just that little bit louder).... but to do it with babe too????????? I guess the jet lag won't be an issue as she probably won't actually ever get any sleep...!

Sorry, I make light but it is clearly a very difficult decision.

I had postnatal depression (mildly) after baby 2, partly because hubby was away for weeks at a time, sometimes months. I resented him hugely, even though I'm sure things weren't easy for him either. And, as you say, he missed a lot too. He still finds it hard to relate to our eldest, now 12, because we learned to function without him, so his role as daddy was marginalised....

All of this incoherent rambling is solely from my own experience. I'm sure you will both make whatever decision is right for you and with the strength and commitment you clearly have, I am sure you will make it work. Good luck x

floss

Also - families do have to live apart for all sorts of reasons, and they survive. Didn't mean to sound really negative -

ali south

what could the new owners of your business do if you buggered off regardless?
Tara

sooz&abby

hi there,

since you are from Sunderland can i ask what estate agent you used to get your house sold so quickly?

we also got an offer in 2 days after we advertised - that was in march but the buyers still dont have their house sold and we desperately want to move asap!!!

i would say go together - its stressful enough moving without going to the other side of the world and doing it with kids on her own! my husband declined a job offer so we could stay together and im glad he did as the house isnt sold till the cash is in the bank!

hope your move goes well.
susan

ali south

Leonard we are also thinking of doing the same thing, I might go ahead with the kids, my 14 yr old son will be distraught without his father. They are also best mates. It is hard to imagine how it will all pan out at this stage. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.
Good luck
Tara

leonard

Tara,

The conditions of the sale have payment structures. X% on completion and the remaining Y% after the retention period (6 months) providing the company returns £Z nett profit.
Basically, I could stand to lose a sum of money if I buggered off (I have seriously considered it though!).

ali south

fair enough, I think I would stay too

leonard

Susan,

We used Andrew Craig and they put it on the internet and did the usual stuff like shop window and letter drop to prospective buyers.

Cheers,

Martin

NAC

Hi there, all I can say is to agree with other posters who have commented on how adaptable young children are. We have also sold our house and had to move into rented accommodation which is in a different town as well. However, we treated it as part of the 'big adventure' and once the children had their rooms set up with their own toys etc it has become a home. I also couldnt pass by my old house as it would upset me too much but if you were to rent you could make sure you rented something slightly further away from your old home. I am also of the opinion that for your wife to be out in Oz with the kids and without you would be FAR more stressful than living together as a family in the UK in a rented home. For me I wouldn't even consider it but you need to do what is best for everyone in your family. Good luck

Carolyn