Notts_bloke

Hi Everyone,

I have been browsing this site for a while now, but not until now had the courage to post a message. My wife and I arrived in Sydney 5th May 07 so have now been here 3 months, I am 26 and wife is 27. My wife gained sponsorship though her company and I came along on her 457 visa. The first month was great we did lots of sightseeing and it was like being on holiday and was great with winter temperatures and weather better than an English summer. However, recently I have struggled quite badly with homesickness (sometimes for no apparent reason). I have a close relationship with my Mum and Dad and rest of the family however I didn’t realise how strong until I made the move, have also had two lots of really bad news since being here. I contact them fairly regularly and sometimes this helps but sometimes it makes me feel worse. Feeling a long way from home especially with the bad news and generally just feel a bit like a spare part.

My job is ok but not particularly that exciting or interesting. I know a “jobs a job” at the end of the day but I find myself bored and unmotivated, especially as I left a job in England which I enjoyed. My wife is much stronger than me and lets things roll off her back but I must admit am a bit of a panicker and things affect me more.

Anyway sorry to moan and I am not really sure where this message is going! But wanted to get it off my chest. Has anyone been in the same situation, feeling confused and a little mixed up?

I do like Sydney and the lifestyle and feel if I meet people and do more sport, socialising etc things will improve no end.

Any survival tips?

moneypenny20

Don't worry, it's totally normal, especially the "3 month" blip. Suddenly real life starts and you don't have the stress of the planning and moving any more. Bad news from the UK is hard to deal with however long you've been here, to get two lots in your first few months would be terrible to deal with.

The majority of folk on here will have gone through some sort of home/people sickness. There are always lots of meets going on in Sydney. There is a regular Thursday night piss up in the CBD if you are close enough to join in that. Once you meet more people and you get over this hurdle things should get better, and if they don't, and it's all really wrong for you both you can go back with heads held high that you gave it a go. Everyone is different and the time scale to know if you've done the right thing or not is totally individual. Just try and relax, get out and explore at the weekends and good luck.

Notts_bloke

Thanks that is good to hear, very reassuring. Was starting to think there was something wrong with me! Just kept thinking people would give there right arm to be in Australia and heres me feeling sorry for myself!

moneypenny20

People who would give their right arm to be here have possibly not been here at all and have no idea that we all live normal lives just as we did before in the UK Check out the meet up forum, even if you can't make a meet that's already planned, you can get to chat to other Sydneysiders and maybe plan one that suits you.

dave99

I had bad home sickness for about the first 8 months but after that it has slowly passed. Every now and again it pops back up and from what I hear it never really goes away completly you just kinda learn to live with it and carry on with things.
Most people say, the first years the hardest, get through that then see how you feel

jilla411

I didn,t live that far from Nottingham,lived near Worksop.Anyway i know exactly how you are felling i,ve been here since the end of May and came on a 457 visa as a defacto spouse.I want to go home so badly some days and on others not so much.I cry at night when i,m alone and hope that i wake up back in my own house.But we came here as we thought the kids would have a better future and i still think this.Today i,m not that homesick and think we would be stupid to go home but maybe i,ll feel different tomorrow.My next door neighbour has been in Oz since November and she doesn,t feel any different to when she first got here.It all depends if you can live with the constant knot in your stomach -it feels like a ache or a longing some people have said that they feel like a prisoner inside.I,m not that bad -yet.Anyway Sydney is supposd to be a real cool place and you have the chance to make a new life you just have to decide if you can live with the aching for good ole blighty....

TrickyTree

From one Notts bloke to another......I am about to hit the 3 year mark and still have days like that (probably not what you want to hear). I dont think there is to much you can do as you have a job to keep you busy maybe try to get an interest/hobby to take your mind off it?

Notts_bloke

I thought I had got over the whole homesickness thing, but recently it has come back with a vengeance. My wife is also now feeling homesick which makes me feel guilty, as she has always wanted to live abroad and I feel like I am making her feel worse. One problem is that I didn’t really give the move a lot of thought and I am not sure I prepared myself for the shock of the move, I just got kind of caught up in the excitement of “moving abroad”. I visited Sydney in 2004 for a holiday and whilst I enjoyed my visit I didn’t really instantly fall in love with Sydney. I think I just need to give it time.

I have a job and whilst it’s the same as I did back in England, the job is more junior than I was doing and to be honest I am struggling to get motivated. But there may be a better job on the horizon better pay, variety of work, career prospects etc so that will help.

I am also trying to make friends and take up some sport, I may have sorted out a new golf buddy! So that will be good (not that I am very good at golf but I enjoy it).

We are off to Tasmania soon and apparently its beautiful place so hopefully that will cheers us both up.

Anyway thanks for you replies and I hope I don’t come across as a “whinging pom”.

p.s. TrickyTree. I presume from the user name you’re a Forest fan! I unfortunately am a County fan! Actually I think supporter is probably a better word as there hasn’t been much to be a “fan” of over the past few years!

TrickyTree

Yep guessed it in one.....although like you theres not alot to cheer on our side of the trent either.

Heading back for a visit over christmas cant wait for a few trips to the City Ground with the boys!

Notts_bloke

Cool hope you enjoy your trip t'footy. How is Kelvin Wilson getting on? He was a good player for Notts but does have a tendancy to be a bit laid back at times. I am thinking about a trip to Notts in March so might catch a pies game to! I might sample some real ale in the Globe before the match. Ahh memories...

Pollyana

Hi Tricky,
Have a cheer for me when you're at a match won't you!

Notts_bloke,
Welcome to BE, you're certainly not alone in your feelings, there are many many of us out here that have days - weeks of homesickness. I'm coming up to 4 years and I wouldn't say its even close to being "home".
really good advice is that which has already been given - see if you can get in touch with others in Sydney; also browse through the pages of the forum, and you'll find loads of people who've been in your shoes. A lot do get over that "3 month blip" so hang in there, and you can always come on the forum to let off steam.
Tasmania is fantastic - the most beautiful scenery you'll ever see, so I hope you enjoy the trip there.

Jilla411 - hugs for you too, I've read your other posts and I have Aussie friends up your way, and even they think its not an easy place to settle. I know exactly what you mean about the knot in your stomach, I have to put up with it, I'm married to an Aussie who couldn't live in the UK - he has often said he'd try it but after 3 days in a row last week of rain he said no way could he live in England! So I now I have to stay, knotted stomach and all. My way of dealing with it is to always have the next trip home planned, my two weeks of escape, gives me something to aim for.

Incidentally - both for Jilla411 and Notts_bloke, remember you are on 457 visas - you might find that you can deal with life here if you remember that they aren't permanent visas, and so unless something changes for you there is a way out to go home eventually. Maybe a way to enjoy yourselves while you're here is to view it as a an Aussie experience which does have an end

Nikki.P

Hi there. We are both 32 and moved to Adelaide nearly 4 months ago. It's totally normal to feel homesick, for some people its worse than other and some days are definately worse than others but to be honest for me so far its not that bad I can't live with it. I do kind of worry that the OH feels the way you do though, and just isn't telling me. I know he's not as enthusiastic about it as I am, it was always my dream and he just kind of went along with it.

I know what you mean about the job though, its much the same for me in that I had a good job that paid well that was challenging and I loved it, and now I have no motivation as the job I'm doing is much easier, more monotonous and pays a damn sight less, so for me the search goes on as I am one of those people that just has to enjoy their work....you spend too much time there not to!!!!

I really do hope that the homesickness gets less and less for you as time goes by. I do think that making new friends might help alleviate the homesickness a little, (although we haven't actually made any yet.....apart from my work colleagues who are lovely) I know for me it would help, but then everyone is different. My OH is also loves golf, pity we aren't nearer, you two men could have played golf and me and your OH could have went to the nearest beer garden!!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed that things get better and you find a job that you enjoy more.

Take care

Nikki

paulhill

Its good to see you are human.

Do you have Skype? I find this helps me a lot, being able to ring anyone even a UK mobile for 32c a minute and a UK land line for 2c a minute.

Keep smiling, you will get there in the end.

Sue x

TrickyTree

He seems to be settling in well I listened to the game against Leeds at the weekend (radio Notingham web page) and it sounds like the team are starting to gel. There are lots of new signings so it will take time and judging by the first half reports against Leicester last night (played them off the park and leading) we did well again. Hopefully we can do as well in the replay after the game was abandoned at HT due to a medical emergency.

I'm sure I will be in fine voice for my trips Polly (no doubt aided by a few jars of real ale in the Globe as well)!