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My life is in turmoil

My life is in turmoil

Old Nov 29th 2005, 2:39 pm
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Default My life is in turmoil

Update:

House went on market last week......had an offer today close to asking price
and not a long chain.

Wife and kids need to go out in mid-Jan for school starting in early Feb - need to go to take up places at the school which now has waiting list.

She will live in rented house with kids - cousins close by for help and support.

I will come out March or April time after house sale complete and I tie up loose ends.

Are we doing the right thing ?.........we have had this dream for years but when you are finally faced with booking one-way tickets......who wouldn't question themselves.

We have independent 136 visas (can live and work anywhere).......plan is I work but wife only part time.......we should have sizeable deposit on house.

I already left a good job earlier this year (final salary pension scheme) but I was not happy with the position....so I got a better job and now take home £500 net more than I used to........but again I knew that oz was at the end of my rainbow.

So.....got a god job here and will leave it....am I crazy ? Could be but this thing isn't just about me.......it's for a better life for us all we hope, especially the kids.

Our reasons for going are simple......for the kids, outdoors life (we love sunshine but know the perils) and thats it. The only unknown is jobs....but I hope me being an accountant and my wife being a midwife and sonographer we will find something that suits us.......plus we think our kids will be in a better school than they would have been here.....now tell me what better means 'cos thats a debate in itself.

I'm at a point where I need to hear some support and stories of how things have been better for people and they have not looked back. I am well aware of the negative stories and instances where people came back to UK and know where to go to read them. We know there will still be stress ahead.

We can of course always come back to UK if we wanted to....but jeeze that ain't what we are thinking....we gotta give it a good go.

SUMMARY...........feeling stressed at everything about to totally change in our life.

Last edited by Olibeneli; Nov 29th 2005 at 2:44 pm.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:20 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by Olibeneli
Update:

House went on market last week......had an offer today close to asking price
and not a long chain.

Wife and kids need to go out in mid-Jan for school starting in early Feb - need to go to take up places at the school which now has waiting list.

She will live in rented house with kids - cousins close by for help and support.

I will come out March or April time after house sale complete and I tie up loose ends.

Are we doing the right thing ?.........we have had this dream for years but when you are finally faced with booking one-way tickets......who wouldn't question themselves.

We have independent 136 visas (can live and work anywhere).......plan is I work but wife only part time.......we should have sizeable deposit on house.

I already left a good job earlier this year (final salary pension scheme) but I was not happy with the position....so I got a better job and now take home £500 net more than I used to........but again I knew that oz was at the end of my rainbow.

So.....got a god job here and will leave it....am I crazy ? Could be but this thing isn't just about me.......it's for a better life for us all we hope, especially the kids.

Our reasons for going are simple......for the kids, outdoors life (we love sunshine but know the perils) and thats it. The only unknown is jobs....but I hope me being an accountant and my wife being a midwife and sonographer we will find something that suits us.......plus we think our kids will be in a better school than they would have been here.....now tell me what better means 'cos thats a debate in itself.

I'm at a point where I need to hear some support and stories of how things have been better for people and they have not looked back. I am well aware of the negative stories and instances where people came back to UK and know where to go to read them. We know there will still be stress ahead.

We can of course always come back to UK if we wanted to....but jeeze that ain't what we are thinking....we gotta give it a good go.

SUMMARY...........feeling stressed at everything about to totally change in our life.
Don’t worry, your feelings are natural. I move on the 4th February to Sydney. My partner and I are giving up a lot like you, good jobs, lots of nice holidays, friends, families etc.

I think you have to think positive and our thinking is simply we are going to give it a go. It will not be easy, we will have to work hard to carve out a new life, however at least we have tried. If it all goes wrong the worse case is we have to come back to England and pick up where we left off.

From my side, I want to look back on my life and had many experiences, this is more important than material goods etc etc that I see around me a lot here in UK. We were caught in a rut and wanted to evolve in our lives and move forward so we are going to see what happens in Aus.

Think your problem is that you have an option. Not many people have this option. Once you are given visa to Aus, I think you have to use as in future you will look back and never know which direction your life would have taken, then maybe regret.

A lot of this comes to self belief as well, I see a lot of negative comments on this board, and I think you should take some of what you read with a pinch of salt

Many people are in comfort zone in their lives in UK then decide to go. I think most people cannot handle unknown and loss of structure in their life, no jobs etc, and this is reason for panic but if you are comfortable about going into the unknown and have self belief in getting jobs etc you will be fine. Accountants can get a job anywhere so you do not have to worry.

Everything will be waiting back for you in the UK as well if it does not work out. I went to Los Angeles a few years ago, did not work out, only there for 2 years. We came back to UK, everything was sae for us, took us a few months to get our old lives back.

My thinking is somewhat simple sometimes, all that is important to us is quality of life and happiness, we will go to Sydney, if we carve out a new life that is better than current one we will stay, if not better we will go back.

Good luck, hope my unstructured mail will help you think in positive way. When you have doubts think big picture and the original reasons you are going there.

Remember it was Darwin who said something like it is not survival of the strongest, it is survival of those who manage change. If you can go with a positive and open mind and be flexible, you will have a great new life in Australia.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:25 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by ugez009sumi
Don’t worry, your feelings are natural. I move on the 4th February to Sydney. My partner and I are giving up a lot like you, good jobs, lots of nice holidays, friends, families etc.

I think you have to think positive and our thinking is simply we are going to give it a go. It will not be easy, we will have to work hard to carve out a new life, however at least we have tried. If it all goes wrong the worse case is we have to come back to England and pick up where we left off.

From my side, I want to look back on my life and had many experiences, this is more important than material goods etc etc that I see around me a lot here in UK. We were caught in a rut and wanted to evolve in our lives and move forward so we are going to see what happens in Aus.

Think your problem is that you have an option. Not many people have this option. Once you are given visa to Aus, I think you have to use as in future you will look back and never know which direction your life would have taken, then maybe regret.

A lot of this comes to self belief as well, I see a lot of negative comments on this board, and I think you should take some of what you read with a pinch of salt

Many people are in comfort zone in their lives in UK then decide to go. I think most people cannot handle unknown and loss of structure in their life, no jobs etc, and this is reason for panic but if you are comfortable about going into the unknown and have self belief in getting jobs etc you will be fine. Accountants can get a job anywhere so you do not have to worry.

Everything will be waiting back for you in the UK as well if it does not work out. I went to Los Angeles a few years ago, did not work out, only there for 2 years. We came back to UK, everything was sae for us, took us a few months to get our old lives back.

My thinking is somewhat simple sometimes, all that is important to us is quality of life and happiness, we will go to Sydney, if we carve out a new life that is better than current one we will stay, if not better we will go back.

Good luck, hope my unstructured mail will help you think in positive way. When you have doubts think big picture and the original reasons you are going there.

Remember it was Darwin who said something like it is not survival of the strongest, it is survival of those who manage change. If you can go with a positive and open mind and be flexible, you will have a great new life in Australia.
Thank you.......your post is very well put. Darwin is/was 100% right. Adapt and change to survive and get on or stay as you are you will "die".....in all senses of that word.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:36 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

I'm feeling the same....I just remind myself that if I don't do it, I will regret it later in life. Go for it! Best of luck!

Claire
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:38 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by Olibeneli
Update:

House went on market last week......had an offer today close to asking price
and not a long chain.

Wife and kids need to go out in mid-Jan for school starting in early Feb - need to go to take up places at the school which now has waiting list.

She will live in rented house with kids - cousins close by for help and support.

I will come out March or April time after house sale complete and I tie up loose ends.

Are we doing the right thing ?.........we have had this dream for years but when you are finally faced with booking one-way tickets......who wouldn't question themselves.

We have independent 136 visas (can live and work anywhere).......plan is I work but wife only part time.......we should have sizeable deposit on house.

I already left a good job earlier this year (final salary pension scheme) but I was not happy with the position....so I got a better job and now take home £500 net more than I used to........but again I knew that oz was at the end of my rainbow.

So.....got a god job here and will leave it....am I crazy ? Could be but this thing isn't just about me.......it's for a better life for us all we hope, especially the kids.

Our reasons for going are simple......for the kids, outdoors life (we love sunshine but know the perils) and thats it. The only unknown is jobs....but I hope me being an accountant and my wife being a midwife and sonographer we will find something that suits us.......plus we think our kids will be in a better school than they would have been here.....now tell me what better means 'cos thats a debate in itself.

I'm at a point where I need to hear some support and stories of how things have been better for people and they have not looked back. I am well aware of the negative stories and instances where people came back to UK and know where to go to read them. We know there will still be stress ahead.

We can of course always come back to UK if we wanted to....but jeeze that ain't what we are thinking....we gotta give it a good go.

SUMMARY...........feeling stressed at everything about to totally change in our life.
Don’t worry, your feelings are natural. I move on the 4th February to Sydney. My partner and I are giving up a lot like you, good jobs, lots of nice holidays, friends, families etc.

I think you have to think positive and our thinking is simply we are going to give it a go. It will not be easy, we will have to work hard to carve out a new life, however at least we have tried. If it all goes wrong the worse case is we have to come back to England and pick up where we left off.

From my side, I want to look back on my life and had many experiences, this is more important than material goods etc etc that I see around me a lot here in UK. We were caught in a rut and wanted to evolve in our lives and move forward so we are going to see what happens in Aus.

Think your problem is that you have an option. Not many people have this option. Once you are given visa to Aus, I think you have to use as in future you will look back and never know which direction your life would have taken, then maybe regret.

A lot of this comes to self belief as well, I see a lot of negative comments on this board, and I think you should take some of what you read with a pinch of salt

Many people are in comfort zone in their lives in UK then decide to go. I think most people cannot handle unknown and loss of structure in their life, no jobs etc, and this is reason for panic but if you are comfortable about going into the unknown and have self belief in getting jobs etc you will be fine. Accountants can get a job anywhere so you do not have to worry.

Everything will be waiting back for you in the UK as well if it does not work out. I went to Los Angeles a few years ago, did not work out, only there for 2 years. We came back to UK, everything was sae for us, took us a few months to get our old lives back.

My thinking is somewhat simple sometimes, all that is important to us is quality of life and happiness, we will go to Sydney, if we carve out a new life that is better than current one we will stay, if not better we will go back.

Good luck, hope my unstructured mail will help you think in positive way. When you have doubts think big picture and the original reasons you are going there.

Remember it was Darwin who said something like it is not survival of the strongest, it is survival of those who manage change. If you can go with a positive and open mind and be flexible, you will have a great new life in Australia.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:39 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by claire edwards
I'm feeling the same....I just remind myself that if I don't do it, I will regret it later in life. Go for it! Best of luck!

Claire
You only regret the things you dont do (oh and the ones you get caught doing )
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 3:43 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by wargod
You only regret the things you dont do (oh and the ones you get caught doing )
Yer a long time dead (subject to various beliefs) so just go for it, ok if it goes t!ts up its going to take a bit to get back on track but then you have done it!! (and will have some stories to tell)...and lets face it a few years out of all the time that you are on this planet is just a blink of the eye really.

...but I am wearing a white jacket that fastens at the back so I can be ignored. ;-)
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 4:04 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by ugez009sumi
Don’t worry, your feelings are natural. I move on the 4th February to Sydney. My partner and I are giving up a lot like you, good jobs, lots of nice holidays, friends, families etc.

I think you have to think positive and our thinking is simply we are going to give it a go. It will not be easy, we will have to work hard to carve out a new life, however at least we have tried. If it all goes wrong the worse case is we have to come back to England and pick up where we left off.

From my side, I want to look back on my life and had many experiences, this is more important than material goods etc etc that I see around me a lot here in UK. We were caught in a rut and wanted to evolve in our lives and move forward so we are going to see what happens in Aus.

Think your problem is that you have an option. Not many people have this option. Once you are given visa to Aus, I think you have to use as in future you will look back and never know which direction your life would have taken, then maybe regret.

A lot of this comes to self belief as well, I see a lot of negative comments on this board, and I think you should take some of what you read with a pinch of salt

Many people are in comfort zone in their lives in UK then decide to go. I think most people cannot handle unknown and loss of structure in their life, no jobs etc, and this is reason for panic but if you are comfortable about going into the unknown and have self belief in getting jobs etc you will be fine. Accountants can get a job anywhere so you do not have to worry.

Everything will be waiting back for you in the UK as well if it does not work out. I went to Los Angeles a few years ago, did not work out, only there for 2 years. We came back to UK, everything was sae for us, took us a few months to get our old lives back.

My thinking is somewhat simple sometimes, all that is important to us is quality of life and happiness, we will go to Sydney, if we carve out a new life that is better than current one we will stay, if not better we will go back.

Good luck, hope my unstructured mail will help you think in positive way. When you have doubts think big picture and the original reasons you are going there.

Remember it was Darwin who said something like it is not survival of the strongest, it is survival of those who manage change. If you can go with a positive and open mind and be flexible, you will have a great new life in Australia.
One positive-from all I know Accountancy is just about the easiest field in which to find a job in Sydney.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 4:16 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Hi mate,
keep meaning to get your number from Just.
We are in rented and my PC is packed and I'm using the lap top so don't have my e-mail address or phone book, forward planning not.

Will PM you our number.

On your point I finished work today, well officially, feel really strange.

Then I think of the people we know who have turned their lives into turmoil with no obvious good to come of it. IMO.
Kevin
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 8:27 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by Olibeneli
Update:

House went on market last week......had an offer today close to asking price
and not a long chain.

Wife and kids need to go out in mid-Jan for school starting in early Feb - need to go to take up places at the school which now has waiting list.

She will live in rented house with kids - cousins close by for help and support.

I will come out March or April time after house sale complete and I tie up loose ends.

Are we doing the right thing ?.........we have had this dream for years but when you are finally faced with booking one-way tickets......who wouldn't question themselves.

We have independent 136 visas (can live and work anywhere).......plan is I work but wife only part time.......we should have sizeable deposit on house.

I already left a good job earlier this year (final salary pension scheme) but I was not happy with the position....so I got a better job and now take home £500 net more than I used to........but again I knew that oz was at the end of my rainbow.

So.....got a god job here and will leave it....am I crazy ? Could be but this thing isn't just about me.......it's for a better life for us all we hope, especially the kids.

Our reasons for going are simple......for the kids, outdoors life (we love sunshine but know the perils) and thats it. The only unknown is jobs....but I hope me being an accountant and my wife being a midwife and sonographer we will find something that suits us.......plus we think our kids will be in a better school than they would have been here.....now tell me what better means 'cos thats a debate in itself.

I'm at a point where I need to hear some support and stories of how things have been better for people and they have not looked back. I am well aware of the negative stories and instances where people came back to UK and know where to go to read them. We know there will still be stress ahead.

We can of course always come back to UK if we wanted to....but jeeze that ain't what we are thinking....we gotta give it a good go.

SUMMARY...........feeling stressed at everything about to totally change in our life.

Unfortunately you will only know if you have done the right thing once you have moved and settled into your new lives. But the fact that you are ready to give it your best shot will help as it sounds like you will not give in if a problem arrives. Your wife will be fine going by herself, that is what we did but my husband spends about 6months of the year in UK with business. The short term loss is worth it for the long term gain.
You both have good careers and there are always loads of accountants jobs advertised, I guess that is why it is on the MODL so you should have no trouble getting work.
You are bound to be nervous at making the move, it is a life changing decision and you are jumping into the unknown.
I for one am glad we made the move and my husband loves it here and he was the one more uncertain about it all.
I wish you all the best.

Amanda
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 8:41 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by Olibeneli
Update:

House went on market last week......had an offer today close to asking price
and not a long chain.

Wife and kids need to go out in mid-Jan for school starting in early Feb - need to go to take up places at the school which now has waiting list.

She will live in rented house with kids - cousins close by for help and support.

I will come out March or April time after house sale complete and I tie up loose ends.

Are we doing the right thing ?.........we have had this dream for years but when you are finally faced with booking one-way tickets......who wouldn't question themselves.

We have independent 136 visas (can live and work anywhere).......plan is I work but wife only part time.......we should have sizeable deposit on house.

I already left a good job earlier this year (final salary pension scheme) but I was not happy with the position....so I got a better job and now take home £500 net more than I used to........but again I knew that oz was at the end of my rainbow.

So.....got a god job here and will leave it....am I crazy ? Could be but this thing isn't just about me.......it's for a better life for us all we hope, especially the kids.

Our reasons for going are simple......for the kids, outdoors life (we love sunshine but know the perils) and thats it. The only unknown is jobs....but I hope me being an accountant and my wife being a midwife and sonographer we will find something that suits us.......plus we think our kids will be in a better school than they would have been here.....now tell me what better means 'cos thats a debate in itself.

I'm at a point where I need to hear some support and stories of how things have been better for people and they have not looked back. I am well aware of the negative stories and instances where people came back to UK and know where to go to read them. We know there will still be stress ahead.

We can of course always come back to UK if we wanted to....but jeeze that ain't what we are thinking....we gotta give it a good go.

SUMMARY...........feeling stressed at everything about to totally change in our life.
It's only natural to feel the way you are at this stage. We went through the very same and I am sure hundreds of others have too.

Has it been easy, well I wouldnt say easy, you have to work at it. Hubby had a job to come to which made it a lot more secure for us, but we were coming anyways job or not....the job decided where we were going to live which again made it a bit easier.

Homesickness for Scotland.....................NO!!!!!!!
Homesickness for friends and family....................a little but dont pine for them or anything like that.....easy enough to write an email or lift the fone.

Miss "the usuals" at chrissy time..............A big fat NOOOOO we had a ball just the 4 of us, chilling out with no hassles of cooking meals shopping as if the shops were shut for a month.....GREAT!!!

Money wise.........we left our own business in the UK, we surviving on less money now.......we have a mortgage we didnt have in the UK.....but we are in a lovely new house, which is worth at least $250k more than our $150k mortgage I would say we r doing ok.

Once I get a decent job things will be a lot better...more treats etc, but for now, just living 5 mins walk from the beach is enough for us....doesnt cost anythin to go to the beach.

Would I go back to the UK

NEVER NEVER NEVER Hubby doesnt even want to go back to visit lol

You will find a job no worries, and your wife a midwife..........she will have her pick off the jobs.

Take Care mate try an chill a little..........you will never know what its like till ya try it.................we have and we love it

All the best with your new life

H
xx
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 11:21 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Thanks for the messages of support from you folks.

My wife now has her resignation letters in her hands...........needs to resign from both her midwifery job and her sonography job.........this is it.....no going back..........next event will be.......

booking her flights !!!!!!!!!!

I plan to follow a couple months later at end of March or early April and I just know it's going to be hard for us all being apart as I will miss my boys like mad
(tears coming in my eyes now).......... At least I have my two cousins who are similar age to me to act as stand in dad while I am not there.

Thanks again for messages.
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 11:25 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Just a thought is the visa in your name or your wife's because if its in yours then you will need to enter the country before her, if its her's then no probs and good luck.

JO
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Old Nov 29th 2005, 11:31 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by joho
Just a thought is the visa in your name or your wife's because if its in yours then you will need to enter the country before her, if its her's then no probs and good luck.

JO
Thanks for your concern....visa is in her name and we validated them this easter......she was just in front of me in the queue so she did enter first.

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Old Nov 29th 2005, 11:33 pm
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Default Re: My life is in turmoil

Originally Posted by Olibeneli
Thanks for your concern....visa is in her name and we validated them this easter......she was just in front of me in the queue so she did enter first.

Thank god for that.

You better be nice to her until citz. I think tea in bed at weekends, do the washing up that sort of thing.

Jo
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