My first thread
Jan 17th 2004, 7:46 pm
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
My first thread
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Jan 17th 2004, 7:58 pm
#2
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,666
Hi Kelly, welcome to expats.
I dont think anyone can give you the answer as to whether you will always feel like this...not even you.
All you can do is weigh up the reason why you WANT to go against the reasons to stay. Are you a very close family?
I dont think anyone can give you the answer as to whether you will always feel like this...not even you.
All you can do is weigh up the reason why you WANT to go against the reasons to stay. Are you a very close family?
Jan 17th 2004, 8:03 pm
#3
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 23
Hi Kelly, I know what you are feeling as I feel the same way. My mum will not talk about it and if she does she slags it off even though she has never been. I am not very close to my mum and do not have any brothers or sisters my dad is all for it as he is retiring to France. I think that you have to do what you want to do and not what everyone else wants you to do.
Good luck from Gina.
Good luck from Gina.
Jan 17th 2004, 8:03 pm
#4
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
Originally posted by podgypossum
Hi Kelly, welcome to expats.
I dont think anyone can give you the answer as to whether you will always feel like this...not even you.
All you can do is weigh up the reason why you WANT to go against the reasons to stay. Are you a very close family?
Hi Kelly, welcome to expats.
I dont think anyone can give you the answer as to whether you will always feel like this...not even you.
All you can do is weigh up the reason why you WANT to go against the reasons to stay. Are you a very close family?
Hi Podgypossum,
I am close to my family. I speak to them everyday, so this will be one thing that will be really hard for me to get used to.
Kevin speaks to his family fairly often but not as much.
I know, deep down that we are doing the right thing to at least try it.
Thank you for your reply, Kelly T.
Jan 17th 2004, 8:04 pm
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: ocean reef
Posts: 164
Hi there and welcome,
Dont feel guilty,its the shock,give them time, its a while off yet so dont start the ball rolling on a bad note ,look to the future.
as for your children its got to be the best age,i also have 2 children 3 and 4.5 and if we dont do it now we never will,lifes for living and just because you are going to the other side of the world ,is not be all end all
Think of your children and what opportunities life will give them ,anything has got to be better than here.(hope i dint offend anyone)We r going for a number of reasons ,this being one of them.The list is endless
Dont feel guilty,its the shock,give them time, its a while off yet so dont start the ball rolling on a bad note ,look to the future.
as for your children its got to be the best age,i also have 2 children 3 and 4.5 and if we dont do it now we never will,lifes for living and just because you are going to the other side of the world ,is not be all end all
Think of your children and what opportunities life will give them ,anything has got to be better than here.(hope i dint offend anyone)We r going for a number of reasons ,this being one of them.The list is endless
Jan 17th 2004, 8:06 pm
#6
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Joined: Aug 2003
Location: in adelaide and loving it
Posts: 1,086
welcome
arlene
arlene
Jan 17th 2004, 8:06 pm
#7
Banned
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: northants ,england
Posts: 1,314
Cant live your life for others m8 otherwise your not livin
youl be finr
youl be finr
Jan 17th 2004, 8:06 pm
#8
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Joined: Jan 2004
Location: northants ,england
Posts: 1,314
Cant live your life for others m8 otherwise your not livin youl be finr
youl be finr
Jan 17th 2004, 8:51 pm
#9
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Joined: Dec 2003
Location: VISA APPROVED!!!!!
Posts: 407
HI..
We told the folks last weekend....Lead balloon etc..My mum is quite upset as my brother has been there 8 years nearly and we will be taking her 2 grandchildren(3 and 6) to " the other side of the world".We feel bad but we to think its the only op we will get with house prices etc and the kids ages.We know deep down the kids and us will have a better quality of life etc...Its got to be worth it!!!I'm hoping the folks will come round to the idea!!!
good luck!!
We told the folks last weekend....Lead balloon etc..My mum is quite upset as my brother has been there 8 years nearly and we will be taking her 2 grandchildren(3 and 6) to " the other side of the world".We feel bad but we to think its the only op we will get with house prices etc and the kids ages.We know deep down the kids and us will have a better quality of life etc...Its got to be worth it!!!I'm hoping the folks will come round to the idea!!!
good luck!!
Jan 17th 2004, 9:11 pm
#10
Up The Arse!!
Joined: May 2003
Location: Maslins
Posts: 3,425
Re: My first thread
Originally posted by Kelly T
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Jan 17th 2004, 9:40 pm
#11
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: salford manchester born wythenshawe
Posts: 8
Re: My first thread
Originally posted by Kelly T
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Jan 17th 2004, 9:56 pm
#12
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Coolum Beach, Qld
Posts: 215
Re: My first thread
Hi Kelly,
I think that for most people leaving family (and friends) behind is going to be or has been the hardest part of migrating. If you've watched any of the migration programmes on tv it's a common problem and seems to be one of the main reasons for coming back.
I will also miss my family, probably more than I'm letting myself believe and I have children of similar ages to yours who adore all their grandparents and have very close relationships with them. But this is about the future, it's about having an adventure while the children are still young enough to adapt and we are in a position in our careers and ages to do it easily. I have always believed that it is better to regret something you did do than something you didn't.
If it doesn't work out for you then really what have you lost? Some money? Maybe time with your family? But if you do come back you will have gained more than anything in having had the experience of doing it and if it works out then you'll never regret it.
I look at going to Oz as an adventure and doing something different with my life. I honestly have no idea if it will be better or worse but I know that either way I will always regret it if I don't try.
I don't know if this will help or hinder your feelings but I say go for it, life is too short and you only get one shot at it!
I'll stop before I get too cliched!
Lou
I think that for most people leaving family (and friends) behind is going to be or has been the hardest part of migrating. If you've watched any of the migration programmes on tv it's a common problem and seems to be one of the main reasons for coming back.
I will also miss my family, probably more than I'm letting myself believe and I have children of similar ages to yours who adore all their grandparents and have very close relationships with them. But this is about the future, it's about having an adventure while the children are still young enough to adapt and we are in a position in our careers and ages to do it easily. I have always believed that it is better to regret something you did do than something you didn't.
If it doesn't work out for you then really what have you lost? Some money? Maybe time with your family? But if you do come back you will have gained more than anything in having had the experience of doing it and if it works out then you'll never regret it.
I look at going to Oz as an adventure and doing something different with my life. I honestly have no idea if it will be better or worse but I know that either way I will always regret it if I don't try.
I don't know if this will help or hinder your feelings but I say go for it, life is too short and you only get one shot at it!
I'll stop before I get too cliched!
Lou
Jan 17th 2004, 10:07 pm
#13
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: salford manchester born wythenshawe
Posts: 8
This is my first thread.
Hi my name is paul i am married and have three kids ,13,12 and 10. not sure how to send or reply yet so be gentle. Anyway we are going to Perth hopefully in october this year, just waiting to hear about my visa. Im going over as a Tree Surgeon and have been going through the visa process for about eight months.
We have had a hard time with the inlaws because they think we are being selfish by leaving and taking there grandkids away from them, but they have finally come around, i want to give my kids the chance in life to see more of the world that i have seen.
the kids are looking forward to starting a new life in Perth.
Its scary selling up and moving to the other side of the world, but if you never try you will never know will you?
Hope to hear from anyone.
We have had a hard time with the inlaws because they think we are being selfish by leaving and taking there grandkids away from them, but they have finally come around, i want to give my kids the chance in life to see more of the world that i have seen.
the kids are looking forward to starting a new life in Perth.
Its scary selling up and moving to the other side of the world, but if you never try you will never know will you?
Hope to hear from anyone.
Jan 18th 2004, 8:09 am
#14
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 123
Thank you for all your replies.
It makes me feel better that there are other people who feel the same.
We are going to go through with it, I know that it will be hard and family will be upset, but I agree that it will be better to know what it is like than sitting here wondering what if...
Kelly T
It makes me feel better that there are other people who feel the same.
We are going to go through with it, I know that it will be hard and family will be upset, but I agree that it will be better to know what it is like than sitting here wondering what if...
Kelly T
Jan 18th 2004, 9:06 am
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Mt. Gambier, South Australia
Posts: 130
Re: My first thread
Originally posted by Kelly T
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
Hi, I am Kelly.
This is my first thread, but my husband (KevT) writes on here at work.
We are applying to move to Adelaide, going through the process now under the Skilled Independent Visa. Kevin sent his certificates to agent just before Christmas for the Skills Assessment with TRA, still waiting to hear. Hoping to be on our way between beginning to mid 2005.
We have two daughters, nearly 4 and 2.
We have thought about emigrating before we got married 6 years ago but only started talking seriously about it a year ago. I was always unsure because of family, but we took a month’s holiday last September. We stayed with my aunt and uncle in Adelaide and loved every minute of it, I cried on the way home but it still took me a while to decide.
I now feel guilty and selfish for having made the decision to take our children away from everyone, although I still want to go through with it. I loved the lifestyle and hope that our children will have a better future. Kevin only sees the kids for an hour each day, as he like most people on here travels for 4 – 5 hours a day so we also hope for more family time together.
Neither of our families has said much about it all. I try not to bring the subject up too much with my parents, I think just letting them get used the idea may help them. Kevin’s family thinks that we will be back in no time at all.
My sister (age 14) is upset that we are going and says that she won’t be visiting as she has never wanted to go to Australia so if we want to go there we can come back here to visit.
I still can’t see my Mum visiting, Dad probably and brother almost definitely.
When I think about all of this I wonder what are we doing, is it the best or worst thing we are ever going to do. But at the same time I don’t want to be here in ten years time thinking what if and regretting it.
I don’t want to be over there always feeling so guilty and selfish, I want to and am going to give it a good go.
Am I always going to feel like this?
I just wanted to agree with the others, and say that you have to do what you feel is right. I'm close to my family (I'm an only child), so my parents took is pretty hard. My Mum did her guilt trip bit and I didn't react particularly well and for a while things were strained. That was 6 months ago when we applied. Now we've all cooled off and things are much better. I've convinced my parents that they need to come out and help me house hunt since they'd do that if I was here. We've agreed to set up PC's and webcams before we go (assuming Oz says yes) so that we can keep in touch and they can see us over there.
We (my husband and I - wow that sounds grand
) don't know whether to look forward to it,or not get our hopes up too much just in case. We're also skilled independents, and also hope to settle in Adelaide. Good luck,
Karen