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-   -   My dilemna..... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/my-dilemna-503839/)

Pommy babe Jan 5th 2008 8:01 pm

My dilemna.....
 
I have applied to study at the university of queensland. offers are released on wednesday night gmt 11pm. I applied for commerce because it was the aussie course which was the most similar to the u.k. course of management and accountancy. I really wanted to apply to a sydney uni, but my parents will be moving, with my sister together fully in over a year when my younger sister has finished A-levels, she is currently in yr.12. They have decided that they want to live in brisbane, ergo i would go to uni in brisbane, not sydney. Tbh I have looked at the course, and it looks DEAD boring. This is part of the course description "Uses of information systems in organisations, management of information systems. Introduction to computer hardware & software; information systems development, implementation & operation. Practical experience with spreadsheets, database management and other business applications software for business problems." "Basic statistical concepts & techniques such as descriptive statistics, probability concepts, theoretical distributions, inferential statistics (confidence intervals & hypothesis testing) are applied in business & economics. " If i'm being honest this is NOTHING like the u.k. courses that i've applied for. I dropped A-level maths because of the probability, hypothesis testing and stats. and as for practical experience with spreadsheets, i did advanced spreadsheet and business spreadsheets in yr. 8!

I've told my parents that i don't like the course and that i don;t want to study it, they say, you should do law, it's only 3 years!!!!! Study a course attend lectures, write coursework, essays and have exams on a subject i'm not even slightly interested in just because i have the grades. UQ want DDD for commerce and i have ABB at A-level. I don't want to be on the other side of the world studying a subject i'm not interested in, by myself. Severeal weeks ago they said they would support my decision to stay and pay my uni fees for the u.k. and that i could stay at home and earn money before going to a u.k. uni in sept 08.

However tonight, they've told me i have to get out of the house by next week and they're not giving me any money for a u.k. uni at all. :frown: Should I be made to go to the other side of the world, by myself to study a course for 3 years that is boring and easy and full of stuff which i've already done (I've studied all the economics i will be taught) just because thats where they want to settle down??? Or do i stay in the u.k. and get completely skint livingin a rough area until uni in 08?

What would you do either yourself, or to your own children???

DEEDEE01 Jan 5th 2008 8:21 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Pommy babe (Post 5744179)
I have applied to study at the university of queensland. offers are released on wednesday night gmt 11pm. I applied for commerce because it was the aussie course which was the most similar to the u.k. course of management and accountancy. I really wanted to apply to a sydney uni, but my parents will be moving, with my sister together fully in over a year when my younger sister has finished A-levels, she is currently in yr.12. They have decided that they want to live in brisbane, ergo i would go to uni in brisbane, not sydney. Tbh I have looked at the course, and it looks DEAD boring. This is part of the course description "Uses of information systems in organisations, management of information systems. Introduction to computer hardware & software; information systems development, implementation & operation. Practical experience with spreadsheets, database management and other business applications software for business problems." "Basic statistical concepts & techniques such as descriptive statistics, probability concepts, theoretical distributions, inferential statistics (confidence intervals & hypothesis testing) are applied in business & economics. " If i'm being honest this is NOTHING like the u.k. courses that i've applied for. I dropped A-level maths because of the probability, hypothesis testing and stats. and as for practical experience with spreadsheets, i did advanced spreadsheet and business spreadsheets in yr. 8!

I've told my parents that i don't like the course and that i don;t want to study it, they say, you should do law, it's only 3 years!!!!! Study a course attend lectures, write coursework, essays and have exams on a subject i'm not even slightly interested in just because i have the grades. UQ want DDD for commerce and i have ABB at A-level. I don't want to be on the other side of the world studying a subject i'm not interested in, by myself. Severeal weeks ago they said they would support my decision to stay and pay my uni fees for the u.k. and that i could stay at home and earn money before going to a u.k. uni in sept 08.

However tonight, they've told me i have to get out of the house by next week and they're not giving me any money for a u.k. uni at all. :frown: Should I be made to go to the other side of the world, by myself to study a course for 3 years that is boring and easy and full of stuff which i've already done (I've studied all the economics i will be taught) just because thats where they want to settle down??? Or do i stay in the u.k. and get completely skint livingin a rough area until uni in 08?

What would you do either yourself, or to your own children???

Hiya Hun,

This is a tough one, you have to think what YOU want and what will work out best in the long run.

Have you though about looking for a full time job in your field, there maybe scope to do on the job studying aswell, that way you would have to pay for it yourself ?

I personally hated school / college and would never dream of going back, although would study at home or night school.

Good Luck.

Donna.
x

LoobyLoo! Jan 5th 2008 8:31 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 
What a horrible situation you've found your self in:(

As difficult as it is you have to do what is right for you. If you want to stay in the UK and go to Uni then that is what you should do, i know it wont be easy without your parents money but it is possible and just think how proud you will be of yourself knowing you put yourself through uni:)

Moving to Oz for their sakes will make you and the rest of your family miserable.

It's your life, you have to live it x

natalieml Jan 5th 2008 8:36 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 
I agree with the others that you have to do what YOU want!! What about looking into the courses in Sydney - who says you have to go where your parents go?

You could get a job until the course in the UK starts and get a house share or something. I went to uni and really enjoyed it but lets be fair - students never have any money anyway so what does it matter if you stay in England without the support of your parents? You can apply for support from the Uni and Government with your tuition fees and work to pay for your accomodation!!!

At the end of the day, it's YOUR life so do what makes you happy otherwise you'll only regrett it in years to come!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

xx

mary1967 Jan 5th 2008 9:08 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Pommy babe (Post 5744179)
I have applied to study at the university of queensland. offers are released on wednesday night gmt 11pm. I applied for commerce because it was the aussie course which was the most similar to the u.k. course of management and accountancy. I really wanted to apply to a sydney uni, but my parents will be moving, with my sister together fully in over a year when my younger sister has finished A-levels, she is currently in yr.12. They have decided that they want to live in brisbane, ergo i would go to uni in brisbane, not sydney. Tbh I have looked at the course, and it looks DEAD boring. This is part of the course description "Uses of information systems in organisations, management of information systems. Introduction to computer hardware & software; information systems development, implementation & operation. Practical experience with spreadsheets, database management and other business applications software for business problems." "Basic statistical concepts & techniques such as descriptive statistics, probability concepts, theoretical distributions, inferential statistics (confidence intervals & hypothesis testing) are applied in business & economics. " If i'm being honest this is NOTHING like the u.k. courses that i've applied for. I dropped A-level maths because of the probability, hypothesis testing and stats. and as for practical experience with spreadsheets, i did advanced spreadsheet and business spreadsheets in yr. 8!

I've told my parents that i don't like the course and that i don;t want to study it, they say, you should do law, it's only 3 years!!!!! Study a course attend lectures, write coursework, essays and have exams on a subject i'm not even slightly interested in just because i have the grades. UQ want DDD for commerce and i have ABB at A-level. I don't want to be on the other side of the world studying a subject i'm not interested in, by myself. Severeal weeks ago they said they would support my decision to stay and pay my uni fees for the u.k. and that i could stay at home and earn money before going to a u.k. uni in sept 08.

However tonight, they've told me i have to get out of the house by next week and they're not giving me any money for a u.k. uni at all. :frown: Should I be made to go to the other side of the world, by myself to study a course for 3 years that is boring and easy and full of stuff which i've already done (I've studied all the economics i will be taught) just because thats where they want to settle down??? Or do i stay in the u.k. and get completely skint livingin a rough area until uni in 08?

What would you do either yourself, or to your own children???


I agree it is a tough one. I've got a daughter in year 11 but we've decided not to wait for her to start college here, but to go to Oz and have her do year 10 and 11 again so that she'll make new friends and be studying the same stuff at the same time as her fellow students. It may mean her doing exams that she'll have covered in her GCSE's, but she'll be the same as her classmates and won't feel different. The other reason we didn't want to wait until she'd finished college is because by then she'd be 18 and we'd have to prove she wasn't fully dependent on us, otherwise she'd have to apply for a visa independently - probably not an issue, but the thought of something going wrong and her not being able to come with us ruled that option out. We also didn't want her meeting the 'love of her life' in college and not wanting to go. At the moment both my kids want to migrate, so we've decided to go for it before anyone changes their minds! My 15 year old drives me mad sometimes, god only knows what the neighbours must think at the shouting they must hear, she's extremely stubborn and can be very argumentative - but we eventually talk, and we listen to each other, and hopefully, find a solution that solves the problem. I wonder whether that's what your parents did? Agreed to something to solve a problem but then when they'd thought about it, decided it wasn't the right solution afterall. Us parents do things like that, i can imagine it being frustrating for you but this is such an important decision, i think you all need to sit down and talk.

Your parents seem to have taken a harsh stance, makes me wonder why they've changed their minds? It sounds to me like they're probably forcing you to opt for the oz course because they don't want you to stay in the UK for 3 years on your own, as a parent i can understand that, maybe you all need to sit down and be honest with each other. If you went to Oz then you'd only be there for 1 year until they joined you. Have you thought of doing the Sydney course anyway? Although you wouldn't be living in the same region as your family when they actually move to Brisbane, it's a lot closer than the UK. I couldn't imagine moving to the other side of the world without my kids - maybe your parents feel the same and that's why they're acting the way they are.

Try not to think too badly of your parents, if they're prepared to wait a year for your sister to finish college, it sounds like they've got both your interests at heart, they want what's best for you but because you're nearly an adult in your own right, they can't make you do what they think is best, which is probably what would've happened a few years ago when you were still at school.

The last thing i would say is this, you are still young, you could always take a couple of years out and come back to the UK if you didn't like it, this may be your parents last chance to migrate to Oz, but it won't be yours. Have a good think and don't stop talking to your parents, nobody knows what the future holds but loving parents will always try and do whats best for their kids, as i'm sure your parents are doing.

Ozzidoc Jan 5th 2008 9:14 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 
Food for thought....

1. Is your visa based on your parents' situation ie that you are a dependent child? If so, has the visa already been validated?

2. I had turned 30 when I started my degree to become a doctor....the world really is your oyster.

Pommy babe Jan 5th 2008 9:33 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc (Post 5744372)
Food for thought....

1. Is your visa based on your parents' situation ie that you are a dependent child? If so, has the visa already been validated?

2. I had turned 30 when I started my degree to become a doctor....the world really is your oyster.

yes, i'm a dependent child, which is why this is my only chance of going, because if i dont go know then i'm not classed as dependent anymore, and our visas have been validated.

I know my parents are trying to force me to go because they want me to be with them, i just feel that the approach is completely wrong, trying to blackmail me to the other side of the world, to study a course i'm not interested in and which won't challenege me, just so i'll be there when they get out there. Had i gone in year 10 or something i probably would have enjoyed it, but tbh i've settled here and i like living near london, the fast pace everything, i love it and i just don't want to give it up, even if the weather is better and there are amazing beaches and friendly people ad it is a great opportunity, but tbh when i'm at uni whether in the u.k. or aus, how much am i really going to see my family anyway?

Pommy babe

sasbear Jan 5th 2008 9:48 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Pommy babe (Post 5744435)
yes, i'm a dependent child, which is why this is my only chance of going, because if i dont go know then i'm not classed as dependent anymore, and our visas have been validated.

I know my parents are trying to force me to go because they want me to be with them, i just feel that the approach is completely wrong, trying to blackmail me to the other side of the world, to study a course i'm not interested in and which won't challenege me, just so i'll be there when they get out there. Had i gone in year 10 or something i probably would have enjoyed it, but tbh i've settled here and i like living near london, the fast pace everything, i love it and i just don't want to give it up, even if the weather is better and there are amazing beaches and friendly people ad it is a great opportunity, but tbh when i'm at uni whether in the u.k. or aus, how much am i really going to see my family anyway?

Pommy babe

Have read all the above and I may have missed something but why not go out to Brisbane - work for a year and then apply for Sydney - you said that the Uni there had the course you wanted.

Just a thought - you may be far away from Brisbane but a hell of lot nearer than if you remained in the UK

rebnatoli Jan 5th 2008 10:09 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 
I think at your age I would go to Oz and give it a go - either try and find a course in Brisbane or Sydney that you like, try the course you've got a place on and see if it is as bad as it sounds and if it is you would still have the option of returning to the UK (and your parents will appreciate that you gave Oz a chance) or switching to another course. It might not even be too late to find another course starting in Feb. Good luck with your decision making.

Pommy babe Jan 5th 2008 10:36 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by sasbear (Post 5744479)
Have read all the above and I may have missed something but why not go out to Brisbane - work for a year and then apply for Sydney - you said that the Uni there had the course you wanted.

Just a thought - you may be far away from Brisbane but a hell of lot nearer than if you remained in the UK

because i'll be working on the otherside of the world, by myself, no friends no family, in a place i'm not family with, and not there by choice, plus i'm 20 this year so by next year i'll be turning 21, as an undergraduate when most of their students are 17 turning 18.
I feel old as it is.

Iwannabethere Jan 5th 2008 11:14 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Pommy babe (Post 5744643)
because i'll be working on the otherside of the world, by myself, no friends no family, in a place i'm not family with, and not there by choice, plus i'm 20 this year so by next year i'll be turning 21, as an undergraduate when most of their students are 17 turning 18.
I feel old as it is.

Another thought. Could you start a course in the UK and then transfer to a Uni in Oz, offering a similar course? The UK uni will be able to give you a transcript of the work and credit you have already attained and you will be able to stay in the UK with your family for the year. You might even be able to persuade your parents to support you for the year.

As for being a mature student, you won't be that much older than everyone else (honest!) and my best mate at Uni was a 'mature' student at 24. We were the youngest two on our course (OK, there were only 8 of us but still!)

Again, follow your heart. Only you know what you want to do. Feel free to PM me of you want to. I'm a secondary school teacher and might come up with some other ideas (although no promises :thumbsup:)

Adi

The Bloke Jan 5th 2008 11:16 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 
Have you considered doing the Sydney course "online" (used to be referred to as a correspondence course), as most institutions now offer these courses. This way you will have the best of both worlds, be near your parents and hopefully be able to do the course you want to do.

Dorothy Jan 5th 2008 11:47 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Pommy babe (Post 5744643)
because i'll be working on the otherside of the world, by myself, no friends no family, in a place i'm not family with, and not there by choice, plus i'm 20 this year so by next year i'll be turning 21, as an undergraduate when most of their students are 17 turning 18.
I feel old as it is.

You feel old at 20? I've applied to uni and I'll be starting at 45! I could be your MOTHER.

Ozzidoc Jan 5th 2008 11:56 pm

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Dorothy (Post 5744850)
You feel old at 20? I've applied to uni and I'll be starting at 45! I could be your MOTHER.

Or a grandmother ....but not the OP's ;)

Dorothy Jan 6th 2008 12:02 am

Re: My dilemna.....
 

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc (Post 5744878)
Or a grandmother ....but not the OP's ;)

That was just mean. But yes, by my age my mother was a grandmother of 5 or 6 children.


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