Clare rich

Hi all, my husband and I are thinking of moving to oz in the next few years. We both know we want to go but have two young kids (ages 3 & 1) and can't decide when is the right time for them (if there even is a right time). I'm worried about the usual stuff like taking them away from the family. We're both ex military and have only recently moved to be closer to them, our daughter has seemed so much happier and has become really close to her grandparents so would it be cruel to take her away from that? What's the education like out there? Any help and advice would be very gratefully received.

Dorothy

Do you qualify for a visa to live in Australia?

chris955

Honestly only you can decide whether it is right for you or if it is 'cruel'. I suppose really you have to look at the big picture, what are your reasons for moving ? You have moved closer to the kids grandparents now plan on moving as far as it is possible to go so you have to be sure of your reasons. At the end of the day you have to decide what is best for your family.

kjchapman1

Hi, it is a big decision, and does need a lot of thought.
Me and mine also have two small ones at 5 and 3. I have wanted to give oz a go for a number of years, but my wife took a little convincing - but the deal is we dont become a "ping-pom".
it is a long way from family, we have grandparents a 5 hour drive or a 5 hour flight - so most contact is done via skype and cloud storage for photos.
one thing to consider is the cost - a family of 4 is about £4K plus medicalal £750, plus flights at £2500 - then there is shipping your stuff, which looks to be around £3K
so all in all it is an expensive choice - but one lots have made.
I do read of the bad stories - but there must be more good than bad (hopefully) otherwise people wouldnt still be moving there...

anyway, we have decided to take the plunge - for schools, look to facebook "mums of" enter city - lots of advice and help.
We are looking at the melbourne area as it is where I best stand to get a job (or so I have been told)

I would say, get enough cash to last 6 months minimum - sounds a lot, but OZ is not cheep - and by all accounts (Chris) unemployment is on the up - but it does depend on the industry sector.


we will be leaving around june - august, depending on work. it could be good or who knows - life is a gamble, but what if....

Bermudashorts

You just have to weigh it up for yourselves. Pros and cons is one way. Another way is to list out all the things that are important to you and then decide for each whether Australia or UK better provides those things.

No personal experience of education here, other than I work with a lot of adults that have been educated here and doesn't seem to have done them any harm at all.

If decision is made to go and I were taking a punt at when to move children, I think I would say as early as possible..

BEVS

Hi there and welcome to BE.

You caught my eye as you are currently in Wolverhampton. My husband hales from there originally before moving to Bournemouth and then finally we came to New Zealand ten years ago.

So hard for anyone to advise you on this really as each of us is unique .

Best way may be for you to talk it through on here a bit with others that have made a huge move like this.

Why are you looking to Australia ?

Rhubarb65

Hello Clare,

as far as moving with kids, our experience with two children aged 8 and 9 at the time of migration has been mostly positive. They were able to become settled in primary school before the eldest moved-up to 'big' school. They both missed their friends from the UK for the first year or so, but it faded and they made new friends here. Four years on, it rarely gets mentioned.
I'd generally agree with Bermudashorts - as early as possible - but there are many other factors to consider in the mix as well as education, as I'm sure you are aware. Moving away from family, depending on your closeness to them, may be a bigger factor. My Mum has visited 4 times since we arrived and we talk on skype each week; my Dad doesn't like long-distance travel, so I travelled back to see them both in England earlier this year.

Good luck

quoll

We moved with a baby and later had another child. Moving away and doing it on your own is tough - you can't replace the security and support of an extended family network, friends (if you can make them) never quite cut it. We did OK but we were independent, selfish and self sufficient. My boys are now adult and partnered with girls with huge extended family locally and both my lads have independently and somewhat wistfully commented on their regrets at the isolation of our little family and how they wish they had grown up with grandparents, cousins etc around. We didn't give it a thought when we were young!

As a grandparent now, I will say that grandparenting via Skype sucks. We do it because we have to but not having held a hand or had a cuddle for 3 years is horrible. My 4 yo granddaughter didn't really equate the lady who knits a lot, lives with Pops in the computer with me as I came down the airport escalator - she was very brave though and gave this complete stranger a hug (which very nearly brought tears to my hard heart). I cope by not being enmeshed but saying farewell on Wed for another x years is going to be bloody hard. We have a grandson in UK now and we pop in to visit every now and again - not in their pockets but hopefully he will grow up knowing us until we have to return to Aus when we will, of course, have the granddaughters.

Should you do it? Who knows! If you have a cast iron better offer then go for it but there are going to be downsides whichever way you jump. We had an offer not to be turned down but from the benefit of hindsight and my boys' comments I think I would have done it differently.

spouse of scouse

Choked me up, and my heart's like granite. Good luck for Wednesday Quoll x

northernbird

I have been on both sides as a grandchild and the mother who moved away. When I was growing up there was no skype and I saw my grandparents once a year and for 4 years (overseas posting) didn't see them at all. I loved them dearly and as an adult had a brilliant relationship with them both. My Mum had photos, we called once a week from the phone box and we talked about them often.

I do the same with my children now and have no regrets or guilt about moving away. Life is too short. Live YOUR life as you want to.

Clare rich

Thanks so much for all your comments, it's great to hear other peoples experiences and opinions. We will take all of your advice on board.

Quoll - I got really choked up reading what you wrote. It's been a huge help hearing your side of the story since my parents won't say much in case they sway our decision. They are very close to my children so I know that would be the hardest thing for all of us. Good luck for Wednesday.

quoll

Thanks! It'll be ok, we will all cry a bit then put on our big girl panties and get on with it! Will try and make it less than 3 years next time!

Beoz

A bit like NorthernBird I grew up with Grandparents who lived a long way a way. Probably only saw them once every 2 or 3 years. My grandfather died when I was 10 so I only saw him 4 times in my life. It was my mother who decided to move away from her parents and have a life in another location. Doesn't make her a bad person. She could have moved back there if she wanted but chose to live elsewhere. Now the shoe is on my foot. My child lives away from his grandparents. They have only ever seen him through skype. They refuse to travel so its all reliant on us travelling to them, which we will do early next year. Is what it is. Its our life, if they refuse to travel then their problem, not ours.

Bermudashorts

My parents were migrants and I didn't know my extended family as a child. I am not in touch with any relatives (cousins, aunts, uncles) now as I never got to know any of them. Has it scarred me for life? No definitely not, but I do feel like I missed out on something and I think that even more now than I did when I was younger.

Clare rich

It's been a real eye opener hearing from those of you who grew up away from extended family. Thanks again to everyone who had offered their advice and experiences it has been very gratefully received.