moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Feb 6th 2008, 8:10 pm
#46
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I meant your going online as a HUGE compliment!!! I wish my OH would - then he'd understand my ups and downs when settling here.
You're doing the right thing by not selling your house, that takes a lot of pressure off and you can make up your own minds about whether to go back or stay after 3 years.
It sounds like you'll have a good time here with your attitude. Attitude makes a huge difference!
You're doing the right thing by not selling your house, that takes a lot of pressure off and you can make up your own minds about whether to go back or stay after 3 years.
It sounds like you'll have a good time here with your attitude. Attitude makes a huge difference!
Attitude is the thing that got me the internal transfer so yes, hopefully it will stand me in good stead!
Feb 6th 2008, 8:16 pm
#47
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: 'stralia
Posts: 2,383
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
(See, there are advantages to having an OH in the forces...
)
Feb 6th 2008, 8:20 pm
#48
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 860
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Listen, we live on a main road and you would have thanked me many times...I was in a minging nighty, I tell you...it wasn't a pretty sight!!
Had to preserve my modesty and find a reason to let rip!
Feb 6th 2008, 8:57 pm
#49
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
On the plus side (if you're forces to forces, which I'm guessing is what you're doing?) then there might be a great group of ladies already there who are totally used to moving around and getting to know new people. That can be a big help, as it means you're not the only people who didn't grow up there etc - everyone's new.
(See, there are advantages to having an OH in the forces...)
(See, there are advantages to having an OH in the forces...
)But yes I get your point if that had of been the case.
Feb 6th 2008, 8:58 pm
#50
Social Grenade Thrower
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: South Coast, NSW
Posts: 3,625
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I think the 'Stimulant Addict' on your Avatar might be living up to its name!!
Feb 6th 2008, 9:04 pm
#52
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 860
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Think I'll change it to caffeine addict soon! 
Feb 6th 2008, 9:07 pm
#53
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: melbourne
Posts: 371
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Over a few weeks I managed to change gears in my brain and now love it here. Amamzing what a bit of positive thinking can do..
Feb 6th 2008, 9:08 pm
#54
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,133
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I never knew how much of a strain moving here to Oz would put on my marriage!!! Thank goodness after nearly 2 years, we've tested each other to the limit and have become stronger as a couple. I wouldn't say it's at the "violin stage" but at least it keeps us on our toes!
Anyone else go through this, or was/is it plain sailing?
Anyone else go through this, or was/is it plain sailing?
Lesson there I think, all the planning, preperation and EXPOs in the world means squat when it comes down to it.
Feb 6th 2008, 9:16 pm
#55
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 45
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I think it definitely makes you question the other person's character and suitability (even after years of marriage), and it brings the questions in your relationship to the forefront. What I mean is, rather than muddle on as you do, day to day, you have to ask really serious questions, and you have to believe that the other person is strong enough to cope in a crisis.
Family and friends are a huge support network, if only for emergencies, and they won't be there when push comes to shove, so it is vitally important to know that your partner will be.
We have certianly talked more than ever, not only about visas, emigrating, jobs, money, logistics, but also every other tiddly part of our lives and relationship so that we both know what the other thinks and where we both stand.
I think we are better for it, but it has been a hard slog.
Family and friends are a huge support network, if only for emergencies, and they won't be there when push comes to shove, so it is vitally important to know that your partner will be.
We have certianly talked more than ever, not only about visas, emigrating, jobs, money, logistics, but also every other tiddly part of our lives and relationship so that we both know what the other thinks and where we both stand.
I think we are better for it, but it has been a hard slog.
Feb 6th 2008, 9:20 pm
#56
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 860
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I think it definitely makes you question the other person's character and suitability (even after years of marriage), and it brings the questions in your relationship to the forefront. What I mean is, rather than muddle on as you do, day to day, you have to ask really serious questions, and you have to believe that the other person is strong enough to cope in a crisis.
Family and friends are a huge support network, if only for emergencies, and they won't be there when push comes to shove, so it is vitally important to know that your partner will be.
We have certianly talked more than ever, not only about visas, emigrating, jobs, money, logistics, but also every other tiddly part of our lives and relationship so that we both know what the other thinks and where we both stand.
I think we are better for it, but it has been a hard slog.
Family and friends are a huge support network, if only for emergencies, and they won't be there when push comes to shove, so it is vitally important to know that your partner will be.
We have certianly talked more than ever, not only about visas, emigrating, jobs, money, logistics, but also every other tiddly part of our lives and relationship so that we both know what the other thinks and where we both stand.
I think we are better for it, but it has been a hard slog.
Feb 6th 2008, 10:08 pm
#57
Ber-kerk
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Middlesex to Brisbane June 08
Posts: 385
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I wonder sometime if the problems arise because you spend so much energy and time and effort getting to this seemingly unobtainable goal - then you finally get there and then you finally have everything you have been waiting for and then......
What?
You have been a team for this journey and working towards a common goal -to get to Oz - the come down is ALWAYS hard, especially when you factor in the tough times with missing the family and friends who would often diffuse the situation. It's bound to stretch any relationship to breaking point - is it just a case that you need to find another common goal? Or does the lack of focus on something make you realise that you are your partner are done?
Well my fingers are crossed for me and the hubby. I will be p*ssed if after the last 4 years of wanting to go 'home' and finally getting there, that he hates it. Or worse still I hate it !!
What?
You have been a team for this journey and working towards a common goal -to get to Oz - the come down is ALWAYS hard, especially when you factor in the tough times with missing the family and friends who would often diffuse the situation. It's bound to stretch any relationship to breaking point - is it just a case that you need to find another common goal? Or does the lack of focus on something make you realise that you are your partner are done?
Well my fingers are crossed for me and the hubby. I will be p*ssed if after the last 4 years of wanting to go 'home' and finally getting there, that he hates it. Or worse still I hate it !!
Feb 6th 2008, 10:34 pm
#58
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I knew my wife-to-be for all of 2 weeks before I came over to marry her ... I've (we've, sorry love!) sure found some shit out in last 3 years ... most good, it works better than it has any right to.
Lesson there I think, all the planning, preperation and EXPOs in the world means squat when it comes down to it.
Lesson there I think, all the planning, preperation and EXPOs in the world means squat when it comes down to it.
Feb 9th 2008, 7:56 am
#59
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Saddleworth
Posts: 612
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
After 10 weeks of living in each others pockets, ours is on its knees. Thank god I start work on Monday. We have bickered like never before in our 21 year marriage I think we will be lucky to see 22!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 9th 2008, 8:09 am
#60
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 45
Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I can see this happening too, but I think it's such a shame. I said to my DH the other day, actually, this is the longest time he's ever going to have off of work and not be sick or retired, I hope we can enjoy it.