moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Feb 6th 2008, 11:19 am
#31
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Feb 6th 2008, 11:21 am
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Feb 6th 2008, 11:24 am
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Feb 6th 2008, 11:26 am
#36
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I never knew how much of a strain moving here to Oz would put on my marriage!!! Thank goodness after nearly 2 years, we've tested each other to the limit and have become stronger as a couple. I wouldn't say it's at the "violin stage" but at least it keeps us on our toes!
Anyone else go through this, or was/is it plain sailing?
Anyone else go through this, or was/is it plain sailing?
Feb 6th 2008, 11:32 am
#38
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Feb 6th 2008, 11:52 am
#39
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Feb 6th 2008, 4:00 pm
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Feb 6th 2008, 4:03 pm
#41
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Yep, it is a marriage test...we have been arguing a fair bit recently. Little things, petty things that wind us up, but it is 100% down to the stress of going, the unknown, the house here, jobs out there, houses out there...on and on! :curse: 
Had the mother of all arguments Sunday morning, we were telling inlaws the leaving date later on in the day. It began after he opened the curtains dowstairs in the kitchen.
Something so, so small and there we were at 7am battling it out at the top of our voices. Hope the neighbours didn't get woken.
Can laugh now...
Had the mother of all arguments Sunday morning, we were telling inlaws the leaving date later on in the day. It began after he opened the curtains dowstairs in the kitchen.
Something so, so small and there we were at 7am battling it out at the top of our voices. Hope the neighbours didn't get woken.Can laugh now...
Your better off without him....the bast#rd!!!! lmao!!
Feb 6th 2008, 4:16 pm
#42
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
My OH is a bit like you, but UNLIKE YOU, isn't the type to go online and talk of his feelings..... would rather go online and talk technical stuff like old car engines than anything personal.
When you come over here, your wife will at first not have an adult to talk to during the day and you will have to be the "OH", "best friend", "local gossip", everyone she's used to talking to daily in the UK!
I'm like your wife - friendly, talkative and "may I add Beautiful!", and when we arrived 2 yrs. ago, I had NOBODY to talk to as I didn't have a job. When the OH came home from a hard day at work I expected soooo much more from him than back home.
He couldn't deliver, I blamed him because it's HIS country, he was frustrated and blah blah blah!!!
The best thing your wife can do upon arriving is get a job, then you won't have to talk so much when you get home!!
It IS worth it though.....you tend to address problems you used to overlook before and make them right!
Good luck XX
When you come over here, your wife will at first not have an adult to talk to during the day and you will have to be the "OH", "best friend", "local gossip", everyone she's used to talking to daily in the UK!
I'm like your wife - friendly, talkative and "may I add Beautiful!", and when we arrived 2 yrs. ago, I had NOBODY to talk to as I didn't have a job. When the OH came home from a hard day at work I expected soooo much more from him than back home.
He couldn't deliver, I blamed him because it's HIS country, he was frustrated and blah blah blah!!!
The best thing your wife can do upon arriving is get a job, then you won't have to talk so much when you get home!!
It IS worth it though.....you tend to address problems you used to overlook before and make them right!
Good luck XX
But anyways, I already have the 'get home from work and switch to receive for 30 mins' to let my wife vent her chat after a day with kids!! So that concept is very familiar to me!!
Getting a job is something we both agree on and both realise will help, me looking at it from a social and fiscal point!!
We are 6 weeks away from going, no stress in that sense and both very excited. Bit different in that I am only going on a temp visa for 3 years with work and job, etc already sorted so no stress levels there. Risk free in that if we like it then may stay perm, if not then just come back having had a different experience. Not selling our house as we want something to come back to, gonna rent it and use that income to rent in Sydney plus add more if we find a really nice place.
It was her enthusiasm that clinched it for us and neither of us are that close to our families so its a no brainer in that respect.
My concern was actually being there initially and selfishly I didn't want to have the new job/area/boss concern coupled with worrying about how my wife is doing. But I have no doubt that until I truly feel she is ok then I won't relax.
I only worry cos I know that I can be quite distant at times, without meaning to be, and want this to be good for all of us. I am not seduced by the barbies and sun, especially with the weather at the moment!!, but the opportunity it affords me professionally and financially.
As for being beautiful........eye of the beholder and all that!!
Thanks for the good wishes by the way!! Very kind of you!
Feb 6th 2008, 6:45 pm
#43
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
We had our first little "visa tiff" last night. Only got the thing 2 days ago, and ended up squabbling over which DVDs we should take and leave behind 
That's the hardest part over with
That's the hardest part over with
Feb 6th 2008, 6:45 pm
#44
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
I am the Aussie citizen and hubby is finally making the move with me in about 3 months. We went and lived in Toronto for a year to test it out to make sure that we were both on an even footing, as the resentment issues can often be a threat to the relationship.
It was tough, until hubby found a great local pub and we made loads of friends there - going back to visit them in 3 weeks. It was hard for him as he was working from home there, so needed the bar to socialise which I can now understand.
Upon coming back to UK the original plan to stay for 4 months was changed to a year and that nearly broke me - I just want to go back home to Oz so bad that we had some real trouble in the past summer, by the fact that I felt trapped here and blamed him for making me stay.
I am worried about this in Australia. The key I feel is to be really proactive - hence why I am on this forum all the time. Hopefully will get to meet up with a bunch of you in Brisbane for a start, join some local clubs and try track down a good pub. I want to hit the ground running and try settle into a routine that enjoyable for both of us and make sure he doesn't feel lost.
It was tough, until hubby found a great local pub and we made loads of friends there - going back to visit them in 3 weeks. It was hard for him as he was working from home there, so needed the bar to socialise which I can now understand.
Upon coming back to UK the original plan to stay for 4 months was changed to a year and that nearly broke me - I just want to go back home to Oz so bad that we had some real trouble in the past summer, by the fact that I felt trapped here and blamed him for making me stay.
I am worried about this in Australia. The key I feel is to be really proactive - hence why I am on this forum all the time. Hopefully will get to meet up with a bunch of you in Brisbane for a start, join some local clubs and try track down a good pub. I want to hit the ground running and try settle into a routine that enjoyable for both of us and make sure he doesn't feel lost.
Feb 6th 2008, 8:04 pm
#45
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Re: moving abroad is a marriage test!!!
Not sure if you saying I go online and talk about my feelings is a good thing or a bad thing??? !!
But anyways, I already have the 'get home from work and switch to receive for 30 mins' to let my wife vent her chat after a day with kids!! So that concept is very familiar to me!!
Getting a job is something we both agree on and both realise will help, me looking at it from a social and fiscal point!!
We are 6 weeks away from going, no stress in that sense and both very excited. Bit different in that I am only going on a temp visa for 3 years with work and job, etc already sorted so no stress levels there. Risk free in that if we like it then may stay perm, if not then just come back having had a different experience. Not selling our house as we want something to come back to, gonna rent it and use that income to rent in Sydney plus add more if we find a really nice place.
It was her enthusiasm that clinched it for us and neither of us are that close to our families so its a no brainer in that respect.
My concern was actually being there initially and selfishly I didn't want to have the new job/area/boss concern coupled with worrying about how my wife is doing. But I have no doubt that until I truly feel she is ok then I won't relax.
I only worry cos I know that I can be quite distant at times, without meaning to be, and want this to be good for all of us. I am not seduced by the barbies and sun, especially with the weather at the moment!!, but the opportunity it affords me professionally and financially.
As for being beautiful........eye of the beholder and all that!!
Thanks for the good wishes by the way!! Very kind of you!
But anyways, I already have the 'get home from work and switch to receive for 30 mins' to let my wife vent her chat after a day with kids!! So that concept is very familiar to me!!
Getting a job is something we both agree on and both realise will help, me looking at it from a social and fiscal point!!
We are 6 weeks away from going, no stress in that sense and both very excited. Bit different in that I am only going on a temp visa for 3 years with work and job, etc already sorted so no stress levels there. Risk free in that if we like it then may stay perm, if not then just come back having had a different experience. Not selling our house as we want something to come back to, gonna rent it and use that income to rent in Sydney plus add more if we find a really nice place.
It was her enthusiasm that clinched it for us and neither of us are that close to our families so its a no brainer in that respect.
My concern was actually being there initially and selfishly I didn't want to have the new job/area/boss concern coupled with worrying about how my wife is doing. But I have no doubt that until I truly feel she is ok then I won't relax.
I only worry cos I know that I can be quite distant at times, without meaning to be, and want this to be good for all of us. I am not seduced by the barbies and sun, especially with the weather at the moment!!, but the opportunity it affords me professionally and financially.
As for being beautiful........eye of the beholder and all that!!
Thanks for the good wishes by the way!! Very kind of you!
You're doing the right thing by not selling your house, that takes a lot of pressure off and you can make up your own minds about whether to go back or stay after 3 years.
It sounds like you'll have a good time here with your attitude. Attitude makes a huge difference!
