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-   -   Missing poms (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/missing-poms-402620/)

jad n rich Oct 17th 2006 2:11 am

Missing poms
 
We meet older poms who have been here years, as in 20 odd years, have adult kids/ grandkids here, the older sort of couple....

Then we constantly meet poms who have arrived in the last year, or been here a couple of years............

So what happens to the ones who have done between 3 and 20 odd years :confused: we hardly ever meet any in that span, most we have met have moved on or moved back, happening again at the moment, loads of families we know through the school from various countries not just UK leaving this year :( Gets a bit depressing after a while, you make good mates then they leave. Finding the kids are beginning to struggle with the constant turnover of good friends, youngest seems quite unsettled by another round of goodbyes :(

Anyone else found the same.

Also for those here long term do you find the aussies dont consider you a aussie but poms no longer consider your a pom, sort of no longer belong in either place feeling :eek:

BadgeIsBack Oct 17th 2006 2:29 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by jad n rich
We meet older poms who have been here years, as in 20 odd years, have adult kids/ grandkids here, the older sort of couple....

Then we constantly meet poms who have arrived in the last year, or been here a couple of years............

So what happens to the ones who have done between 3 and 20 odd years :confused: we hardly ever meet any in that span, most we have met have moved on or moved back, happening again at the moment, loads of families we know through the school from various countries not just UK leaving this year :( Gets a bit depressing after a while, you make good mates then they leave. Finding the kids are beginning to struggle with the constant turnover of good friends, youngest seems quite unsettled by another round of goodbyes :(

Anyone else found the same.

Also for those here long term do you find the aussies dont consider you a aussie but poms no longer consider your a pom, sort of no longer belong in either place feeling :eek:

We need to hand out a gold star for Poms who have made the 3 and 5 year mark. 5 years being enough to be obviously settled and have had got the operation, but not have paid just 10 pounds to get on the boat.

In a similar vein, I was talking about this to my mate at work who went back to the UK for 3 weeks. He kept saying 'Hows it gaan' to people in shops and they looked at him blankly like he was from Mars. He then felt like an 'imposter' Aussie - he's not an Aussie - only been here a year - but they thought he was. He was just acting himself. I had the same problem when I went back. Your experiences in Australia do change you.

We never meet newly arrived Poms, only older ones or Aussies.

matt-and-jenny Oct 17th 2006 2:36 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by jad n rich

Also for those here long term do you find the aussies dont consider you a aussie but poms no longer consider your a pom, sort of no longer belong in either place feeling :eek:

Hey J&R
I came over with my family in 1989, when I was a kid, going back to the UK for 5 years in between. So Aussies call me a Pom and Poms call me an Aussie. I've embraced it these days, but it used to make me feel a bit displaced.
J.

jad n rich Oct 17th 2006 2:49 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by matt-and-jenny
Hey J&R
I came over with my family in 1989, when I was a kid, going back to the UK for 5 years in between. So Aussies call me a Pom and Poms call me an Aussie. I've embraced it these days, but it used to make me feel a bit displaced.
J.

Displaced, thats it exactly, word I was looking for.

Very odd feeling, really noticed it as we had to sort out some UK stuff recently and I suddenly realised how much I was ringing family asking for help/updated info :eek:

Most people have a middle aged crisis not me I become 'displaced' :D

Wendy Oct 17th 2006 2:54 am

Re: Missing poms
 
I have an Aunt who has been here for 25 years and a cousin who has been here for 7 years.

Apart from them the only other UK peeps I have met have been here between 1 and 3 years. Most wouldn't go back, but 2 of them are going at the end of the school year. Funnily the ones that are going back come from the south of the UK and are quite well off, the ones staying from the North and not exactly poor, but not rolling in it like the other two IYSWIM :confused:

Nomore Oct 17th 2006 3:04 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by jad n rich
We meet older poms who have been here years, as in 20 odd years, have adult kids/ grandkids here, the older sort of couple....

Then we constantly meet poms who have arrived in the last year, or been here a couple of years............

So what happens to the ones who have done between 3 and 20 odd years :confused: we hardly ever meet any in that span, most we have met have moved on or moved back, happening again at the moment, loads of families we know through the school from various countries not just UK leaving this year :( Gets a bit depressing after a while, you make good mates then they leave. Finding the kids are beginning to struggle with the constant turnover of good friends, youngest seems quite unsettled by another round of goodbyes :(

Anyone else found the same.

Also for those here long term do you find the aussies dont consider you a aussie but poms no longer consider your a pom, sort of no longer belong in either place feeling :eek:

hi there...yes i have found that most people i meet are in their 30's and been here 1-2 years! but i have to say that alot of others we have met are returning to UK just after 12 months here in Perth! So that just adds to my concerns.
2 couples have split up already, pressures of emigrating and not fitting in they say!
We have not met mant Ozzy folk, just one couple but you would think we spoke a different language :rolleyes: they never understand us..so we don't bother with them much as they don't have our sense of humour either.
By the way...where abouts are you based Jad n Rich?

We are going on holiday to Brisbane next year to check it out..but been told it is worse than Perth...i find that hard to believe!!

jad n rich Oct 17th 2006 3:19 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by paulrachel
hi there...yes i have found that most people i meet are in their 30's and been here 1-2 years! but i have to say that alot of others we have met are returning to UK just after 12 months here in Perth! So that just adds to my concerns.
2 couples have split up already, pressures of emigrating and not fitting in they say!
We have not met mant Ozzy folk, just one couple but you would think we spoke a different language :rolleyes: they never understand us..so we don't bother with them much as they don't have our sense of humour either.
By the way...where abouts are you based Jad n Rich?

We are going on holiday to Brisbane next year to check it out..but been told it is worse than Perth...i find that hard to believe!!


Were on the coast one hour north of brisbane. I have been to perth, aussie partner did not want to consider perth as he felt it would be very limiting for us after a short while, his point as he has lived in both places was there is far more within reach of brisbane, you can get to other places in a weekend/day trip at a reasonable cost. We have since visited perth and I would agree, but thats just us and we are a bit hyper, like to have a few things on the go. Plus we have kids all around or approaching the teen years, perth would be lovely for younger kids just not sure opportuinity wise for older kids.

BadgeIsBack Oct 17th 2006 3:21 am

Re: Missing poms
 
It does seem that Australia is getting harder and this shows in the amount of people going back. I have only heard personally of one couple going back in 4 years and I'd never met them.

We don't seem to live in an area that attracts migrants so don't get to hear such stories so its quite interesting to hear it from others.

I would suggest that whilst we haven't met new arrivals, or met many established ones, based on the few we have, there are bound to be alot around - but very well integrated and settled to the point where you'd hardly notice their ancestry.

kimi Oct 17th 2006 3:22 am

Re: Missing poms
 
Been here 12 years - have never been back to the UK for a holiday,

My Aussie friends here still think of me as a Pom and when I speak to my family and friends either on the phone or when they come out on hols they think of me more as an Aussie, which I am very happy about.

moneypenny20 Oct 17th 2006 3:23 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by paulrachel
hi there...yes i have found that most people i meet are in their 30's and been here 1-2 years! but i have to say that alot of others we have met are returning to UK just after 12 months here in Perth! So that just adds to my concerns.
2 couples have split up already, pressures of emigrating and not fitting in they say!
We have not met mant Ozzy folk, just one couple but you would think we spoke a different language :rolleyes: they never understand us..so we don't bother with them much as they don't have our sense of humour either.
By the way...where abouts are you based Jad n Rich?

We are going on holiday to Brisbane next year to check it out..but been told it is worse than Perth...i find that hard to believe!!

I suppose it depends on what you want. Those in Brissie who don't like WA would disagree, those loving Perth would agree that Brissie is worse. I prefer Brissie but don't live there :D .

All the people we are friendly with are Aussie's or brits been here since the £10 days. Can't think of any who have been here a middling period :confused: Also we have found here (Gold Coast) we know very few "proper" gold coasters (but I know they do exist) - the majority of people we meet have all come interstate with a small minority come from overseas.

Wonder if it's the same with the Sunshine Coast :confused:

Hutch Oct 17th 2006 3:25 am

Re: Missing poms
 
My elder sister's been here for 15 years now, but I haven't met many poms round here, so I don't know about the missing. You'd have thought with a million of us in the country you'd meet 'em more often - maybe it's just where I live.

NickyC Oct 17th 2006 3:38 am

Re: Missing poms
 
I've been here for ages - just over 27 years now. I don't know a huge number of british people but those that I do know have been here equally as long as me. None of them have the slightest intention of moving back to the UK, but I guess that's expected - if they were going to go, they'd have gone long ago. In all the years I've been here I've only ever known one couple return to the UK - and they came back pretty quickly. It could be a function of this area - if you can find anything to complain about around here, well it's you that has the problem.

This also isn't a 'new migrant' area (although plenty of backpackers). Most of the British people that do live around here bought years ago when the property was cheaper. Now it's extortionate so most young families and new migrants can't afford it.

Have to admit that I don't regard myself as a Pom or an Aussie (although I'm both). I'm just someone that's lucky enough to live here - just like everyone else that lives here. After a few years you lose the fixation you originally had about where people come from. You certainly stop interrogating people whenever you meet one with a british accent. Don't feel the slightest bit displaced - I found my place and I'm very happy with it.

Nomore Oct 17th 2006 3:47 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by jad n rich
Were on the coast one hour north of brisbane. I have been to perth, aussie partner did not want to consider perth as he felt it would be very limiting for us after a short while, his point as he has lived in both places was there is far more within reach of brisbane, you can get to other places in a weekend/day trip at a reasonable cost. We have since visited perth and I would agree, but thats just us and we are a bit hyper, like to have a few things on the go. Plus we have kids all around or approaching the teen years, perth would be lovely for younger kids just not sure opportuinity wise for older kids.

i agree that Perth is for families with younger children...mine are getting on now and want more than sitting on a beach all day everyday!
We are a hyper family too and spend hours looking for something to do here, so thats why we think Brissy/Gold coast is a better option for us. Many people have said that it unfriendly anti Pom there but we will find that out for ourselves i guess!
Infact we are going to tour the East coast so thats something to look forward to, beats sitting around :zzz: Perth .ha

jad n rich Oct 17th 2006 3:53 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by moneypen20

All the people we are friendly with are Aussie's or brits been here since the £10 days. Can't think of any who have been here a middling period :confused: Also we have found here (Gold Coast) we know very few "proper" gold coasters (but I know they do exist) - the majority of people we meet have all come interstate with a small minority come from overseas.

Wonder if it's the same with the Sunshine Coast :confused:

Interstate migration here too, especially victoria, think most of the aussies we know are from vic, but then R is too. Not many locals, think property prices might be the reason there, a lot of people sell up here and move to hervey bay, cheaper house prices always the reason.

Massive immigration from the UK, one school here was reported as getting 70 new families from the UK in a year :eek: quite a few RE agents are very aware of BE too :D . I do think what we say influences areas, remember bayside, that used to get so many 'mentions' , you hardly hear about it now, sunshine coast seems to be the new bayside. You do notice it, especially when shopping, lots of northen UK accents.

I wonder if the gap in this middling period is due to visa quotas, they must have handed out zillions in the 10 pound pom days, and now didnt the quota double again, perhaps its just numbers more than anything else :confused:

moneypenny20 Oct 17th 2006 3:55 am

Re: Missing poms
 

Originally Posted by paulrachel
i agree that Perth is for families with younger children...mine are getting on now and want more than sitting on a beach all day everyday!
We are a hyper family too and spend hours looking for something to do here, so thats why we think Brissy/Gold coast is a better option for us. Many people have said that it unfriendly anti Pom there but we will find that out for ourselves i guess!
Infact we are going to tour the East coast so thats something to look forward to, beats sitting around :zzz: Perth .ha

Don't believe everything you are told ;) We have been on the Gold Coast just under a year and have yet met with any anti pom feeling or any negative comments at all. Possibly because most people have come from other states, they are just chuffed and impressed we have made the effort to move all this way. Stacks and stacks of stuff for teenagers to do in the region. My girls have never been so busy ;)


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