Making friends
 

I have noticed on quite a few posts recently that people are having problems making new friends once they arrive in Australia and because of this I thought I would share my experience.

I would say at the outset that I am quite an outgoing person and I don’t think I could be described as shy.

I arrived here in June 2005 with OH and stepson (who is 18) and not knowing a sole. The first 4 weeks or so were really difficult and I was very lonely. I think that this was based on the fact that we were stuck in a serviced apartment and the step-son and I we were bouncing of the walls and each other. Once we moved into our own place with our own stuff I made the conscious effort to get myself out and about to meet people.

If I heard a UK accent then I would talk to them, sometimes making arrangements for coffee or wine! – some people you hit it off with and others you don’t. I just accepted that – no point in getting upset if you don’t hear from someone again – I also found some friends from this website. I then decided to join a gym – again, it is up to you to make the first approach. Most people already have an established life and friends to fill it. Because of this it is up to you to push to meet. I know that this can go against the good old British Reserve but bite the bullet – you won’t regret it.

I am lucky that my husband’s job involves quite a lot of socialising but this doesn’t mean that you instantly have a whole network of friends. Again it was up to me to invite people round who I thought that I had a connection with. Luckily I love cooking and entertaining but you don’t have to go to any grand scale, sometimes some nice nibbles and a few bottles does the trick!

In a nutshell - get out there and make the first move - oh and acquire a thick skin for some of the knockbacks and don't take them personally

Re: Making friends
 

Great advice! :)

Re: Making friends
 

Great post Vanessa :) I will definitely be giving you a bell,when we arrive! ;) :D

Re: Making friends
 

My plan is to get on an ice hockey team. I'm bound to meet at least a few Canadians there!

Re: Making friends
 

Excellent post!!

Re: Making friends
 

I think the first question is - can you skate!!!! :D

Re: Making friends
 

Agree with the others - great post!
I remember last winter, not long after we arrived - I was sat at home feeling sorry for myself, when I realised that no-one knew me here and weren't about to knock on my door. It was up to me to make the effort.
I have since met many new people, some I have stayed close friends with, others I may have only met once or twice. Even the people I don't have contact with now helped at that time.
You can't like everybody you meet and it does take time to find the ones you 'click' with. And I don't mean that in a nasty way - some people are nice but just not your cup of tea!
Tracey

Re: Making friends
 

Great post Vanessa!

I would also add that the school is a great place to meet people. I have a 6 year old daughter and I make a point of getting to the school early at drop off and pick up times. Some of the mums just drop the kids at the gate and leave but I think its a great place to meet people so I will pretty much talk to anyone! This is where I met my best Aussie friend! :)

I also volunteer in my daughters class to do reading with the kids twice a week. This again is a great way to meet people (teachers etc) and to see how the school is run. Its also great when your kids friends call you Mrs............!! So cute! :)

Another thing I do is volunteer as a driver for Meals on Wheels. I dont really meet that many people doing this but its been a great way to get to know the area and also gives me an Aussie Employment Reference as and when I need one! :)

If neighbours are friendly and invite you around - then GO! Whether you feel like it or not - make the effort.

The bottom line (As Vanessa has already said) - its up to you to make the move and to talk to people. People arent going to come to you thats for sure!

Good luck everyone :)

Re: Making friends
 

Thanks everyone. Now for those who have not done so already - put on your thick skin and bite the bullet - most peoples bark is worse than their bite :D

Re: Making friends
 

Only since I was 2!

I'm sure the Ozzies will think we're crazy as our almost 3 year old already has a full set of hockey gear and skates, bought just in case it's hard to find equipment that small.

Re: Making friends
 

I can't get an invite for tea on here I'm going to be knackered come January :mad:

Re: Making friends
 

All together now.........AWWWWWWWWWW :D

you could come to ours for tea, but you may find it's a bit far ;)

Re: Making friends
 

Thanks Wendy I've got loads of air points, what times best for you and should I bring red or white wine ;)

Re: Making friends
 

Very True. :D


Seriously though, great post & I would describe you as very confident.

Re: Making friends
 

I can recommend joining a sports team ... doesn't matter which sport ... if there is one stereotype that generally holds true then it is that the Aussies love to talk and play sport. Yup, even the women.

I don't mean to be overly-critical of Vanessa on such a positive post but it does pay to initially talk to people without a UK accent too ... we don't want to be building communities of Little Englanders ...