making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Apr 28th 2008, 10:17 pm
#31
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: in a place near the river and the sea where the sun always shines
Posts: 3,155
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
hi debs,
thanks for texting me yesterday ... email me your news, sounds like so much has happened in hte last 12 months!! (its nearly 12 months since we were there!!
)
well, to anyone who may read this, please make sure you sort out your will - it makes life so much easier if you have one (and make sure whoever writes your will states whether it will need to go to probate!)
thanks for all the good wishes .... xxx
thanks for texting me yesterday ... email me your news, sounds like so much has happened in hte last 12 months!! (its nearly 12 months since we were there!!
)well, to anyone who may read this, please make sure you sort out your will - it makes life so much easier if you have one (and make sure whoever writes your will states whether it will need to go to probate!)
thanks for all the good wishes .... xxx
12 months!!!!!!!!!
bloody hell!!i'll pm you. just taking dog to beach and then meeting girls for lunch.
did our wills, wasnt the nicest thing to do but had to be done, went to our local solicitor cost about $500 if anyone is thinking about doing it.
hope the funeral isnt too painful sue
how are the kids coping?debs xxx
Apr 28th 2008, 10:25 pm
#32
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: South Wales to New South Wales!
Posts: 3,065
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hi there,
Well, i suppose not many of you know my situation - as you can see i have been a member of this forum for quite a few years now! we initially joined whilst looking into emigrating back in 2003, and over the following few years we came across obstacles and problems which meant we had to keep delaying applying.
Anywhoos, in jan 06 we decided this would be the year we did 'it', and started to compile tra stuff for omy other half who is a time served plasterer.
Then my mum, with whom i didnt have the best relationship with, had a serious stroke that saw her hospitalised for 6 months, and eventually discharged home - with me as her main carer (im a nurse).
So, we had to make the decision - carry on with move to aus or stay and take care of her?; well, as we are such a small family, i had to stay.
Now over the years i have read hundreds of posts by people who have been in the same position, and have taken either path.
....all i can say is im glad i stayed. my relationship with my mum wasnt brill, but i did what i could for her for over two years - i did her shopping, cleaning, running her about to hospital and doctor appointments, chiropody, writing group, out for lunch/tea and visits to friends etc ... i even had to make the decision to only work very part time to fit in with her needs and had to work my 3 kids schedule in to fit in with her needs.
my mum died yesterday in hospital, quite peacefully and with dignity.
and now i feel i have done my best, and am able to move on with our family plans once more.
my point to this thread is that, yes - you do have to live your life and put your own family first, but sometimes you need the closure too and had I left for aus and left her i wouldnt have that closure. I am very much at peace with her now, and feel that a very sad chapter has now closed and i am able to move on.
I love my mum very much and i will miss her, but i feel i now have closure and feel i have the freedom to move on.
thanks for reading,
sue xx
Well, i suppose not many of you know my situation - as you can see i have been a member of this forum for quite a few years now! we initially joined whilst looking into emigrating back in 2003, and over the following few years we came across obstacles and problems which meant we had to keep delaying applying.
Anywhoos, in jan 06 we decided this would be the year we did 'it', and started to compile tra stuff for omy other half who is a time served plasterer.
Then my mum, with whom i didnt have the best relationship with, had a serious stroke that saw her hospitalised for 6 months, and eventually discharged home - with me as her main carer (im a nurse).
So, we had to make the decision - carry on with move to aus or stay and take care of her?; well, as we are such a small family, i had to stay.
Now over the years i have read hundreds of posts by people who have been in the same position, and have taken either path.
....all i can say is im glad i stayed. my relationship with my mum wasnt brill, but i did what i could for her for over two years - i did her shopping, cleaning, running her about to hospital and doctor appointments, chiropody, writing group, out for lunch/tea and visits to friends etc ... i even had to make the decision to only work very part time to fit in with her needs and had to work my 3 kids schedule in to fit in with her needs.
my mum died yesterday in hospital, quite peacefully and with dignity.
and now i feel i have done my best, and am able to move on with our family plans once more.
my point to this thread is that, yes - you do have to live your life and put your own family first, but sometimes you need the closure too and had I left for aus and left her i wouldnt have that closure. I am very much at peace with her now, and feel that a very sad chapter has now closed and i am able to move on.
I love my mum very much and i will miss her, but i feel i now have closure and feel i have the freedom to move on.
thanks for reading,
sue xx
Good luck with the rest of your life - you should be very proud of yourself.
God bless your mum
Rach xxxx
Apr 28th 2008, 10:30 pm
#33
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,147
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
12 months!!!!!!!!! bloody hell!!
i'll pm you. just taking dog to beach and then meeting girls for lunch.
did our wills, wasnt the nicest thing to do but had to be done, went to our local solicitor cost about $500 if anyone is thinking about doing it.
hope the funeral isnt too painful sue how are the kids coping?
debs xxx
bloody hell!!i'll pm you. just taking dog to beach and then meeting girls for lunch.
did our wills, wasnt the nicest thing to do but had to be done, went to our local solicitor cost about $500 if anyone is thinking about doing it.
hope the funeral isnt too painful sue
how are the kids coping?debs xxx
hi debs,
kids ok - lucy is coming to the funeral (at hutcliffe wood) - next weds, but should be ok, we've talked a lot about death, dying and funerals, plus she has seen on a daily basis how ill mum has been lately ... in the last 2 weeks she had a subdural and a subarachnoid haemorrhage (due to the warfarin), plus was diagnosed with ca lung with widespread liver, adrenal gland and brain mets
they transferred her to weston park on the thursday, and she died the friday afternoon ... peaceful at least.
looking forward to hearing from you,
sue xxx
Apr 29th 2008, 12:08 am
#34
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Brisbane - Thornlands
Posts: 385
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
I am so sorry to hear of your loss my thoughts are with you.
We all move forward through life and as long as we know why we do what we do, it can never be the wrong choice for us. To have no regrets is precious, you've also had the opportunity to create some wonderful memory making moments with your mum and I hope that these help you through this loss.
Good luck, Oz is still here and still waiting for you.
Take care
Tracey x
We all move forward through life and as long as we know why we do what we do, it can never be the wrong choice for us. To have no regrets is precious, you've also had the opportunity to create some wonderful memory making moments with your mum and I hope that these help you through this loss.
Good luck, Oz is still here and still waiting for you.
Take care
Tracey x
Apr 29th 2008, 5:07 am
#35
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: Sydney beachside
Posts: 3,505
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
I've read most of your posts over the last five () years and know that you've had the works thrown at you in that period with one setback after another.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, but at least you can now make your plans knowing that you did the right thing. I hope that one day soon we'll read a 'just arrived' post from you - if anyone has earned it, you have.
) years and know that you've had the works thrown at you in that period with one setback after another. Sorry to hear about your Mum, but at least you can now make your plans knowing that you did the right thing. I hope that one day soon we'll read a 'just arrived' post from you - if anyone has earned it, you have.
Apr 29th 2008, 6:07 am
#36
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: WA
Posts: 1,280
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hello Sue,
I just wanted to wish you all the very best
S xx
I just wanted to wish you all the very best
S xx
Apr 29th 2008, 6:14 am
#37
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Have PM'd you Sue. xx
Apr 29th 2008, 8:26 am
#38
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Buderim, Qld, Australia
Posts: 1,072
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you.
Lynn xx
Lynn xx
Apr 29th 2008, 11:39 am
#39
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Now Perth,not Ireland
Posts: 173
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hi Sue,
I wish to offer you my sincere condolances on the loss of your beloved Mother.She is very proud of you I'm sure. I lost my Dad in Feb and the pain is heart wrenching. But I know that he was happy with my decision to come to Australia and start a new life.
I wish you every success and happiness in your desired and much long awaited new start on your life and future. It was wonderful you got to get your closure.
I wish to offer you my sincere condolances on the loss of your beloved Mother.She is very proud of you I'm sure. I lost my Dad in Feb and the pain is heart wrenching. But I know that he was happy with my decision to come to Australia and start a new life.
I wish you every success and happiness in your desired and much long awaited new start on your life and future. It was wonderful you got to get your closure.
Apr 29th 2008, 1:40 pm
#40
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 687
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Sue,
This was a very touching thread and I'm really sorry for your loss.
I'm sure had you have gone to Aus initially, you wouldn't have slept well at night.
You can now say that you did your best for your mum, you put her first and took care of her whilst making your own sacrifices.
Good luck for the future, and I hope you can achieve your dreams.
This was a very touching thread and I'm really sorry for your loss.
I'm sure had you have gone to Aus initially, you wouldn't have slept well at night.
You can now say that you did your best for your mum, you put her first and took care of her whilst making your own sacrifices.
Good luck for the future, and I hope you can achieve your dreams.
Apr 29th 2008, 1:47 pm
#41
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,918
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hi there,
Well, i suppose not many of you know my situation - as you can see i have been a member of this forum for quite a few years now! we initially joined whilst looking into emigrating back in 2003, and over the following few years we came across obstacles and problems which meant we had to keep delaying applying.
Anywhoos, in jan 06 we decided this would be the year we did 'it', and started to compile tra stuff for omy other half who is a time served plasterer.
Then my mum, with whom i didnt have the best relationship with, had a serious stroke that saw her hospitalised for 6 months, and eventually discharged home - with me as her main carer (im a nurse).
So, we had to make the decision - carry on with move to aus or stay and take care of her?; well, as we are such a small family, i had to stay.
Now over the years i have read hundreds of posts by people who have been in the same position, and have taken either path.
....all i can say is im glad i stayed. my relationship with my mum wasnt brill, but i did what i could for her for over two years - i did her shopping, cleaning, running her about to hospital and doctor appointments, chiropody, writing group, out for lunch/tea and visits to friends etc ... i even had to make the decision to only work very part time to fit in with her needs and had to work my 3 kids schedule in to fit in with her needs.
my mum died yesterday in hospital, quite peacefully and with dignity.
and now i feel i have done my best, and am able to move on with our family plans once more.
my point to this thread is that, yes - you do have to live your life and put your own family first, but sometimes you need the closure too and had I left for aus and left her i wouldnt have that closure. I am very much at peace with her now, and feel that a very sad chapter has now closed and i am able to move on.
I love my mum very much and i will miss her, but i feel i now have closure and feel i have the freedom to move on.
thanks for reading,
sue xx
Well, i suppose not many of you know my situation - as you can see i have been a member of this forum for quite a few years now! we initially joined whilst looking into emigrating back in 2003, and over the following few years we came across obstacles and problems which meant we had to keep delaying applying.
Anywhoos, in jan 06 we decided this would be the year we did 'it', and started to compile tra stuff for omy other half who is a time served plasterer.
Then my mum, with whom i didnt have the best relationship with, had a serious stroke that saw her hospitalised for 6 months, and eventually discharged home - with me as her main carer (im a nurse).
So, we had to make the decision - carry on with move to aus or stay and take care of her?; well, as we are such a small family, i had to stay.
Now over the years i have read hundreds of posts by people who have been in the same position, and have taken either path.
....all i can say is im glad i stayed. my relationship with my mum wasnt brill, but i did what i could for her for over two years - i did her shopping, cleaning, running her about to hospital and doctor appointments, chiropody, writing group, out for lunch/tea and visits to friends etc ... i even had to make the decision to only work very part time to fit in with her needs and had to work my 3 kids schedule in to fit in with her needs.
my mum died yesterday in hospital, quite peacefully and with dignity.
and now i feel i have done my best, and am able to move on with our family plans once more.
my point to this thread is that, yes - you do have to live your life and put your own family first, but sometimes you need the closure too and had I left for aus and left her i wouldnt have that closure. I am very much at peace with her now, and feel that a very sad chapter has now closed and i am able to move on.
I love my mum very much and i will miss her, but i feel i now have closure and feel i have the freedom to move on.
thanks for reading,
sue xx
I am so sorry about your Mum and at the same time i am glad you made your decision about staying and doing a very good job of looking after your dear Mum....she must have been very proud of you Sue.Its early days ...but you can now look ahead to your very much wanted future in Australia.....i wish you luck sweetie
Right now my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.
Let us know how you get on.
Love D x
Apr 30th 2008, 11:20 am
#42
(^v^)
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: North East Tasmania
Posts: 2,199
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hello love only just seen this thread, like I say email me, I dont know whats gone off re your mums consultant?
take care we are thinking of you
Kxxx
take care we are thinking of you
Kxxx
May 2nd 2008, 6:40 am
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: in a place near the river and the sea where the sun always shines
Posts: 3,155
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
hi kay, how are you both? need your email please.xx
sue, how you holding up love? been thinking about you xx
May 8th 2008, 9:57 pm
#44
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 8,147
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
mums funeral was yesterday (cremation ... i hate cremations 
) - feel i can now start to look forward to a new life for me and my family.
thank you for all the lovely messages, they have really helped me through this,
sue xx
) - feel i can now start to look forward to a new life for me and my family.thank you for all the lovely messages, they have really helped me through this,
sue xx
May 8th 2008, 10:11 pm
#45
Logical & Hot Stuff
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Ontario's Armpit
Posts: 19,815
Re: making the decision not to go to aus due to sick parents
Hug and even more hugs sent to you and your family...