Judes2308

Hi

I know this has probably been posted many times before but just need some reassurance.

Shippers are coming in 2 weeks and our flights are booked for 5th Feb, but we are having serious last minute doubts about the whole thing. To be honest we're even talking about pulling the plug and not going at all !!

My husband and I previously lived in Melbourne for nearly 3 years and are heading back to roughly the same area so know what it's all about. But this time we're heading back with 2 kids (ages 2 and 4) and I think the enormity of it all it just starting to hit. Panicking that we're doing the right thing for ourselves and the kids, terrified about leaving secure jobs, worried about money, guilt-ridden about leaving behind heartbroken families...etc etc etc.

Would just seem easier to cancel everything and stay in our secure environment, but then we worry we would regret it. Have spent the day in tears

I know it's our decision to make, but is it normal to feel so absolutely terrified???

Judy

Bermudashorts

I think some anxiety and doubts and fears are normal. I dont know about being "absolutely terrified" though, well I certainly did not feel that way myself but perhaps others have.

Maybe it is time to run through your reasons for going again, you must have done the pros and cons once so remind yourself what you considered and why you decided to do this.

Did you enjoy Australia last time you were here? Why did you leave?

Judes2308

Yes we enjoyed our life in oz when we were there and made some good friends who we've kept in touch with so will be there to help out when we arrive. We originally went out to see what it was like but kept our home in the UK 'just in case'. I was pregnant and my father-in-law had terminal cancer so just seemed logical to come back to the UK to be with family at those important times. Always intended returning to oz but time kind of ran away with us....that and baby no. 2 !

When I think of the life we had which was very outdoors based, I know that it would be a good life for us all. But in saying that there is nothing seriously wrong with our life in the UK, just that the weather gets in the way a lot. We also feel so bad for making our families so unhappy.

Thanks for replying.

Bermudashorts

There doesn't have to be something wrong with life in UK to make the move to Australia worthwhile. We also had perfectly good life there. To be honest I think that is a better basis for making the move than the belief that Australia will magically fix someone's life.

Kapri

Hi Judes

I am in a similar position. Been talking about emigrating for years and almost did it in 2008 until a bereavement stopped us.

Now, we are set to go again. I have been offered a job and am awaiting the visa, and we have accepted an offer on our house.

Like you, there is nothing wrong with our life in the UK. We're both working, the kids are happy, we have great friends etc.
I swing from being wildly excited about doing something different to feeling terrified that we're making a huge mistake.

It's not going to stop me though. Feel the fear and do it anyway

Kapri

I hope so BS

classybird

I too have had these wobbles. I plan to hand in my notice this week (I need to give 2 months) and fly out to NSW on 9th March During my AL.) I will be starting my new job in Maitland on the 18th March. I will be leaving 3 grown children and 2 grandchildren and my grandaughter who is 5 has asked can she come live with me . I have also done it all before but only managed to stay in Australia for 7 weeks as I missed my family so much. After coming back to the UK I realised that all my emotions were normal and regretted not staying for longer. I know I will still feel these emotions of missing family and friends but rather than "flight" I will "fight". I have read so much literature trying to figure out why I felt the way I did and now just realise it as a normal and even healthy reaction that will lead to assimilation in the new culture. It doesnt work for everyone I know but if you can understand that what you are experiencing is normal and healthy then it may be of some help. Here is an article I have read recently http://www.ukcisa.org.uk/student/inf...ture_shock.php and it certainly put things into perspective for me.

quoll

Do you have a good job to go to? Do you have enough savings to see you through 6 months just in case? Can you take a career break instead of chucking it all in with nothing to go to? Can you afford to take a gamble financially?
How dependent are you on family for casual child support? If you are totally independent of course then it won't be an issue but be prepared for your kids to grow up isolated from their family (that's been one thing that both my now adult sons have mentioned as a negative about their childhood in Australia).

I still wonder at the "outdoor" lifestyle thing - the weather seems to be far more of an outdoor deterrent for me in Australia and I notice that there are more kids out and about here where I am now than I ever saw in Canberra. My Aussie granddaughters (2 and 5) certainly don't play outside much especially in the summer so the outdoors with kids might be a different proposition from being a young couple with no kids.

If you want an adventure then go for it by all means but it's just another first world country at the end of the day.

Hebe

Friends of ours did exactly the same as you about 9 months ago and are loving being back. We made the transistion easy for her by getting her a rental (I know her very well) and furnishing it with furniture, toys etc etc that I begged borrowed or stole, until her own stuff arrived. She came before her husband who was still working out his notice.

The rental has in fact turned out to be fantastic. The street is a cul de sac with a park at the end and nearly all the houses have kids in them - perfect as she doesn't see hers until they want feeding!!

Where are you moving back to?

carolinephillips

Last minute wobbles, and even post arrival wobbles are all perfectly normal- it is a big step you are taking. Good luck with the move.

Judes2308

Thanks for all your replies. Well after the second sleepless night in a row I'm beginning to think its more that just last minute nerves. We've done a complete reassessment of our reasons for going and there are a few issues which have come up that we'd probably glossed over before.

I'm 42 and hubby is 47, 2 kids aged 2 and 4. Our parents are in their 70s and not in great health so would never manage to come over. We have no jobs to go to although hubby has a reasonable chance of one but it would involve working away for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. My sister, who would have responsibility for my parents as they get older, has MS so has an uncertain future herself.

We've been back in the uk nearly 5 years and have left it right until the moment our visas are due to expire before deciding to go back. Why didn't we go before?? Who knows, other than we just settled right back into life here and to be honest although we had a great time in oz we also enjoyed the comfortable life here.

Financially we are comfortable but no jobs for a few months would definitely put a strain on us. Plus the inevitable flights home either for holidays or dreaded emergencies would cost a fortune. The exchange rate has collapsed since we were there before and the cost of living seems to have gone up, none of which will make things any easier.

I guess our visas due to expire forced a decision and we prob felt we would have wasted a great opportunity if we didn't go. But our jobs are still open here and although we've sold our house we would prob have done that anyway.

We haven't felt wildly excited about the move at all, just an increasing dread the closer it got.

Guess I've just answered my own question. Sorry for long post but just needed to unload!

Thanks
Judy

classybird

No need to apologise. Your post has been really helpful for me.

Good Luck Hun xx

spouse of scouse

The practical advice and support you get on this forum is fantastic. But this sort of thread is invaluable too. Judy, I'm so glad that you were brave enough to post how you felt about moving here, and even gladder that you and your husband have been able to resolve it. (is gladder a word?)
I'll probably be posting something similar in a couple of years, when I move back to my husband's birth place with him!
Very best wishes to you Judy, and to you also classybird.

quoll

Ah Judy, dread is never a good feeling! Hope it all works out well for you and that you continue to have a fabulous life!