LisaT

I have just lost my grandmother and now am wondering if I am doing the right thing immigrating. It isn't happening for about another 18 months or so but losing a relative makes you think about the time you spend with them. It is starting to make me think about the little time I will spend with my parents, sisters and niece and nephew.
Can anyone who has immigrated offer any advice or insight as to how you coped with such thoughts and worries?

ROBnCAZ

LisaT

Sorry to hear about the loss of your granny...I have lost all 4 of my grandparents and my mother over the last 2 years so know how you feel!

What I will say however, is that life is too short not to do these things. When they are all dead and gone, you will look back and regret not making the move when you had the chance.

Better to have tried something and found it wasnt for you than never to have tried and spent the rest of your life wondering...

At the end of the day, you're only a day's travel away - it's a small world really!

Luke I Amyofath

For what its worth Lisa I believe you have to live your own life and if that it seen as selfish to you or your family or friends then just remember noone else can live it for you.
Good luck

moneypenny20

If you stay will you spend more time with them or just carry on as you have? Only you can decide that one. I would still go but that's me.

LisaT

Thank you all for your advice.
I don't think I can make a decision while grieving at the moment.
I am due to visit Perth in Feb and will wait for everything to settle and get back to normal before trying to finalise a decision.
If I think about staying though it makes me unhappy. I dont want to live in this country. I want more for my son. But I also believe family is important and we are all very close. Sometimes I feel this is a downside as none of us have even left the town my parents live in.

fishface

Hi so sorry to hear of your loss, it must be really difficult for you.
My stepfather died suddenly aged 56 nearly 4 years ago now, and this was a reality check for me really. It was completely unexpected and we and my mum had a rough ride for a while. However following this my husband and I decided that we would move to oz which we had been thinking about for so long, because life is too short to not live it to the full.
His death actually gave us the push we needed to make that difficult decision.
It meant leaving my mum behind, which was very difficult, although our relationship had been strained and my brother lived nearby, it was still tough.
Sometimes the loss of someone can give life to someone else through giving them the incentive to make the most of the life they have.
Family will visit and email and web cams are amazing now. Maybe they will follow you over one day.
We came back and I am now in the process of wanting to return again. All the things and people I missed can't replace the lifestyle and opportunities Australia can offer on a day to day basis. Good luck with your choices and take care, FF.

LisaT

Thank you for this.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
Before my nan died I had talked in great length about Oz and our reasons for wanting to go. She was very understanding and understood our reasons. My mum did exactly the same thing when she married my dad and they moved to South Africa. My grandparents followed. So I had my childhood living the outdoor way and loved it.

How long have you been back and what made you come back?

rossfive5

Hi

My parents also moved to South Africa after they got married and I grew up in the sun. After I moved back to England, my family followed, but my parents have now returned to South Africa. We have got used to talking on the phone almost daily and they visit us once a year. It is hard when the family split up and are scattered around the world, but you get used to it. As someone said earlier, emails, webcams and the telephone make it feel like they are just down the road.

Ruth

woodyinoz

Some people settle very easily without family or the guilt of leaving family behind.

Others miss family sooo much that they go to sleep each night nearly in tears at what they have done. Nobody can predict how you will cope.

For me I am willing to trade in the fantastic OZ life that I have built up in the last few years, for a life that I will no longer feel that guilt and loneliness. Sometimes for some people family mean more than money can buy.

cranni

Hi , we do miss family, but we want what is best for our children , its their future that counts, my mum and dad would not want us to put our lives on hold for them.
And i know when i get that dreaded phone call one day, i will feel guilt , grief and all emotions, but they would not want us to stay in UK for them, and they enjoy their hols here.

woodyinoz

If your parents are still married then doing what is right for your kids is easier. Things seem to become hard when parents are left on their own! Somehow you feel that it is your duty to become the leaning post.

I am dreading the time when my Mum needs to go to a home and has to face the prospect of never having me visit... somethings just aint worth it... I would hate to be all on my own when I get older. Bingo and blue rinses need suport

biggy

sorry to hear about ur gran mate but u got to do this


u say u dont see ur folks much which will make the move easier

if u feel it is right for u and urs then GOOOO FOR IT !!!!!

annqldau

If the family are upset and you are upset just get all the family to come with you and then you are not leaving them... .