Scoop.

I had my De-Facto spouse visa issued last week and now the big family discussionis whether to have a big leaving doo or not???

I was planning a few smaller events, BBQ's, Restraunt, evening in the pub etc...But, my Mum is trying to insist on the big event, so I can do it all in one go. Did anyone else have this dilema?, or would you recommend the big event?..I just think its a bit formal, with the DJ, Buffet, Speeches etc...

moneypenny20

Give me one big do any day. The idea of loads of emotional goodbyes does my head in One biggie, loads of noise, laughter, drink and just one speech will do it. We are taking over a "local" owned by a friend and will be "open house" from mid afternoon onwards so people can pop in and all the kids friends can do what they want - relatively speaking

Aussiecat

Well speaking from experience, one BIG do is the way to go. We had ours last saturday week & it was amazing!

We took over our village sports/social club, had 2 local bands, (probably should've just had 1, would've been cheaper) a hog roast served by good friends, my chef friend & I did all the salads, friends bought puddings & we invited about 200 people. Old school/uni friends, family & close family friends, people from where we used to live, (everyone we could think of) & as my husband helps manage the local footy team :scared: there were an awful lot of young lads :scared: but the atmosphere was fantastic. Everyone in Alderholt is still smiling. Best do in ages we've been told. The weather was great & everyone went home remembering a super party
Some of the oldies struggled with the noise, Mr aussiecat's dad wanted the band turned down but there isn't much we can do at the moment that he agrees with!!!!
And the best part was there were no speeches! Just lots of hugs & goodbye kisses, no tears.
I did buy a book to get everyone to write their contact details in (& any comments if they wish) & use it as a reminder, but once the party got going not everyone saw the book & those that did mainly wrote (lovely) things about us which was fantastic to read the following day with a hangover.
there was even one comment in there from 'Nick & Mandy'.
Who the hell are they? Neither of us have heard of them

Anyway, that's my story for what it's worth, whatever you choose to do, i hope it's a goodie

Elaine M

Personally I'd go for getting all the goodbyes over in one go; it's hard to do the rounds although I guess it depends whether people can get to your party, if they live far away you might have to go to them.

I can definitely agree with the idea of a book for people to write in; mine is now a treasured possession. It did the rounds at work for about two weeks (large open plan office building!) but my daughter was working there at the time and kept track of it for me. Then it came home for my family party.

The messages people wrote mean a lot to me and are a lovely reminder of all my workmates, friends and family.

Elaine M

natty

Hiya

We also had this dilemma- hubbie didnt want a party and I did. I had read on this forum of lots of people who recommended a party as its easier to do it all in one go than have lots of nights out which may get really emotional. So with this info I persuaded the hubbie that it was a good idea !!

Our party is booked for 23rd April in our local village social club type place. Our friends are organising it for us and all we have to do is turn up on the day.

We are both a little frightened actually as we are dreading loads of speeches but we have said that we want to keep it simple. Just all our friends,a bar and a disco so hopefully it will be lots of fun and not full of tears !!.

At the end of the day I just want a night with all my friends having fun and a boogie or two !!!

Nat

hilary6

Hi
If and when it comes to our turn to leave I'd have the lot!!! pub,bbq party.
Whatever u decide im sure you'll have a brilliant time
Good luck
Hilary

karenjc

Its the big party for us. I think it may be better to get all the goodbyes over in one go plus its another excuse to get drunk, mind you have we tried a couple of venues and they all booked up for the time that we want to have it.

Dicko

We're not having one, as the wife thinks it is too upsetting, also we would like to say our goodbyes to people who really matter to us, on the face of it a lot of people at a party would be just "aquaintances", our "real" freinds and family will be paid a visit one by one.

Just the way we want to do it.

Alison & John

Definately have a big doo and great time with all your family friends.

Good Luck

Bhoywonder

We are opting for the big do. DJ booked today and looking forward to a good night. It should hopefully make the goodbyes a little easier. We don't have the time to go around everyone one by one.

Best of luck and I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

samjam

We have a very difficult dilema, which Im sure some of you must be encountering. Some of our family are very unhappy and upset that we are going, so we have decided to have a small and intimate family party within our home, then a whopping great big shin digg for everyone else (and any family who feel up to it) What do people think of that?

natty

I think this is a great idea. we are not inviting my family to the party for a couple of reasons- firstly they live a long way away and it would be a bit of a hassle for them all to come. Secondly ( and i know selfishly) I know that if they are there then I would feel compelled to spend all the evening with them and not be able to spend the time with all our friends.
A few days before we leave we are going to spend a few days with my family and have lots of quality time with them then.
Sometimes friends and family just dont mix !!!

biggy

We had a big do, and it was a riot...what a laugh we all had, was very emotional too...but gave ua the chance to see everybody in the one night....GO FOR IT !!!

storerg

I know what you mean, I didn't want a big night out, it now looks like I have got 6+ 'nights out' at different ends of the country, and I have only got 9 weekends left til I go to OZ. Roll on the beers and Hangover cures!!!!

Chris Mitchell

BIG DOO definitely,

kids are planning it already and we've not sold house or got visa,

any excuse for a party and a new outfit!!

and a few drinks!!!
Chris