Ceri

Ladies (and gents), are you having problems finding the right Christmas/Birthday gift for your mum-in-law? (I hear you say Yes) And on the other hand you want to keep your distance (Yes, Yes) … so that she stays in Britain never to darken your door in Aus……… “Whoopee, halleluiah, it’s a miracle!!!�(Oops sorry I’m getting carried away )

I have the answer……… Personalized, real Aussie spider notepaper (Gosh!)

It’s free and it’s worth a try. (Free.?? What Ho… do tell us more)

Find one spider… and spray it with gloss to note paper.. Voila! (Is that it??)

Actually this is a wolf spider that my cat puked up. He was already dead. I cleaned him up, took the tweezers to him to pull the legs out from it’s curled under position… sprayed him with clear gloss to the notepaper (I normally resin things.. and don’t do it this way usually) …

It makes a nice addition to your personalized notepaper…. Lol, I’m sending this one my “dear� mum-in law.

Take no notice of the colour, the true colour was a dark brown with a stripe on it’s head … the gloss has seemed to darken it.

Anyway, seriously, if you’re stuck for gifts try this, it’s unique, thoughtful and it shows how you really care. ..

“MasterCard - $100000…. Dead nature your cat has just puked up - Priceless�

Cheers

P.S

Next Lesson… I’ll give you a tip for giving koala poo to your father in law (I really like him… so he gets the koala poo, year before last he had a dead huntsman … this year he gets koala poo… crikey,he gets the best gifts) and a Redback to your sister-in-law.

Some things in life are free… Anyway, I just thought I’d pass on some really, really useful tips for gifts to send to your annoying (I mean lovely) relatives

Ceri

Oi koala..... (this furry B*gger was up a tree at my back garden)... "give us some droppings"

janeyray

ahhh how cute, and in your own garden!!

Ceri

It's in the reserve at the back of my garden.. my garden runs right down to the bushland reserve... part of the reason why we bought this land. We did have one which ran through the garden and climbed a tree in the front garden a few weeks back.

cheers

P.s they don't do much..except sleep. They are starting to move around here as it's the beginning of the mating season... horrible yelling sounds they make.

janeyray

No Koalas where we are (Perth) but tons of 'roos'. We have a forest where we live and we like to take our dogs a walk there and the roos just watch us, do you know if they attack dogs/people or are they more afraid of us than my hubby is of them!!!

Ceri

Most roos will keep away from you, and are not aggresive... they do stare at you though. But there have been a few cases of them hitting people with their back legs.. which is a bit nasty, they have sharp claws and a powerful kick. I think it is usually the males that tend to this. I personally don't trust the wild ones, I keep my distance from them. The only ones which I have smoothed have been in parks.. used to humans who smooth them.


cheers

P.s the cases that they have hit people have been when a person has attempted to smooth or feed them, there has not been any cases of roos running after people for no reason at all... or at least I'm not aware of any

dotty

The shagging season drives us crazy, they sound like wild pigs screaming, first time I heard it thought someone was being murdered, Cute koalas not

donna

Brilliant post Ceri,made me chuckle and gave me some good ideas.
cant wait until xmas
donna

bondipom

Why not steam roller a koala or a possum and glue it to a card. Either that or an impaled big red stuck on a ute's roo bar.

whisky

Whisky

Larissa

Good ideas!
What about squashed fly biscuits (Garibaldi) for the mother-in-law? Luvely!!!

Larissa

Ceri

My mother-in-law hates frogs, rats, mice, bats, snakes, spiders, cats, dogs... you name it she hates it. I've sent her video of possums and Bandicoots in my garden - she thinks those looks like rats!

Now being a veggie... I have conflicting views... keeping mother-in-law away from me by sending dead animals to her, or having her come to stay for her next hoildays. It's a hard one!

She's not that bad really... It's just that she annoys the hell out of me, I can't cope when she stays with us... it's "ceri" I'll show you how to do this properly, ooh you're not boiling that egg the right way" ... arrghhhhhh .. I've stolen her "baby son " and moved him to the other side of the world.... unforgiveable!


cheers

Larissa

Hi Ceri - well, being a veggie meself, I can see your point about mindlessly killing the wildlife. What about the things squashed at the side of the road already? Also, I'd have no qualms about killling insects/ parastitic organisms (thou I'd have to think twice about the mother-in-law!).
Seriously though, I will have to deal with visitors coming for long stays; that must be hard when you don't get on with them. We've got the excuse now that our house is too small to have people overnight, so they don't come for long... My mother-in-law has also vowed that she won't fly. I hope she doesn't change her mind as my in laws are hard work!
Larissa
PS What is the availability of meat substitutes like?

Ceri

You're out of luck. There is a poor range of vegetarian food in the shops here. It is absolutely nothing like Britain in this respect, where Britain has heaps of stuff in the supermarkets to choose from. I find it very hard to buy a good variety of veggie pre made stuff. Two things which I do buy on a regular basis here in Woolies and Coles are veggie bacon (called not Bacon), and by the same makers the sausages. They have a very small section in their fridges for veggie food... this consists of few veggie burgers (which taste horrible!) not bacon and , sausages and tofu. The frozen isles...are hardly non existent regarding vegetarian food. You also have to be careful what you buy... a seemingly innocent pack of fried rice can contain bacon bits, and a pack of biscuits .. some of them contain beef fat. As for Quorn - forget it! There is no Quorn in Aus. I remember somebody posted the reason for this a while back.. it's got something to do with importation of food laws.

You'd better bring you veggie cook books with you... be prepared for a lack of veggie ready made stuff here.

Cheers

dracupg

My better half has the same problem with finding vegetarian options and ingredients. Luckily, she eats fish and the fresh salmon, tuna and swordfish is excellent here. She used to live on Marks & Spencer ready made vegetarian meals, so I suppose it is good that she has been forced to cook more fresh meals.

You can get Tofu, as she made a curry with it one evening. Fetch me a sick bag. Presumably the Quorn thing is something to do with is being made from mushroom like fungus, which could conceivable contain bacteria etc. Strange though.

Don’t forget the gelatine which is in all the gummy sweets, and a lot of thickeners.

Reminds me of a holiday we had to Turkey when the waiter turned up with an omelette that had kebab meat through it when she asked for a vegetarian omelette. Like Turkey, they seem to have a hard time accepting vegetarianism here.