Pink & Fluffy

Hello, hope nobody minds but I am letting off steam to people who understand!!

Had medicals on 21st March, wake up each morning hoping for a visa granted in my in box and each morning feel deflated as nothing is there! Husband is waiting to hand in his notice and we want to book our flights etc...

Am living with my mum as we have sold our house, I am really grateful to her and know that it must be really hard for her as she has been on her own since I left home 12 years ago and now she has me, my husband and my 2 daughters aged 2 and 3 under her roof, and also as she is going to be losing us to the other side of the world in hopefully 12 weeks!! But she seems to be looking for and argument the whole time! She critisises the way we care for the children, they way we eat (we have tried to change her eating habits for health reasons and consequently she is losing weight, most people would be happy - she is not one of these people!), and following a blazing row on Sunday she told me that she was not going to visit us when we move!!!!

Friends and the rest of the family seem to take the fact that we are moving as a personal insult and are not willing to discuss anything to do with Australia! Unless it is to plan their annual holidays!

I think I am just having a low moment and am feeling that it is never going to happen, my life is in limbo and I am waiting for it to start etc etc etc blah blah blah!!

Anyway, I have finished now! thank god I hear you all say!!

Any body feeling the same??

I'm going to have a drink now!!

Pink x

Wendy

I think your Mum is just being a normal Mum, I lived with mine for a while about 7 years ago when me and my hubby had a bit of a marriage breakdown, and she was just the same. Everything I did was wrong and she always took the kids side when they were naughty and I told them off.

It was a bloody nightmare at times !!

The limbo feeling stays with you all the time, you can't plan anything. It gets to you after a while. Best thing to do would be to go away for a few days with your OH and kids and have a breather from your Mum and the Visa application.

Hope everything feels better soon

Luma

Being in limbo is awful.

I've got 2 toddlers myself so I understand how much of a handful they can be, it is even harder when someone criticises you - especially family.

No-one really understands how stressful this whole immigration process is unless they are going through it themselves. I think that is why some of us chat a fair amount on this forum as everyone tends to understand where we are coming from.

BIG
(((((((hug)))))))

and

Cheetah7

Sounds like your Mum is doing the old self preservation thing.

By being horrible to you and possibly distancing herself from you, she is hoping to minimise her connection and ultimately contact with you.

It is easier than dealing with her emotions.

The more she demonstrates affection, the closer she will be to you but at the same time, she thinks it will hurt more when you do leave.

As for your mates, well to take it as a personal insult, there could be jealousy that you are 'breaking the mould' so to speak and stepping out into a place that for some reason, they cant.

Dont let your Mum pick rows, bite your tongue and chip away at her, if not to show her that just because you are leaving the country, you are not 'leaving' her in every sense of the word.

And dont give up until she gets it.

Its bloody hard and good luck with everything, including your visa.

Samantha

Loubags

Sorry to hear you're having a miserable time. We're in slightly a different situation - got visas but not sold house, but I couldn't imagine having to live with my mum ( or any other family come to that ) for more than a few days!!
Check out some of the other threads recently re: family causing huge guilt trips. Your're definately not alone, not that that helps.
I usually try to see it from all points of view, but just recently am also getting p***ed off with people who just seem to want to spoil any positive news we have and make us feel guilty. I for one will be glad if all the negative people around me don't visit. Let them get on with their sad, boring and shallow lives.
You are doing what you think is best for you and your immediate family. Good Luck to you. I, for one, wish you happiness, health and success.

Karen and Iain

Hey Pink,
Just when you think it can't get any worse and you can't stand it a minute longer that is when the case officer will reply!
I sympathise about your mum we stayed with mine a couple of years ago and when we moved into our house we didn't speak to each other for about 8 weeks until we had recovered!
Good luck
Karen

Pink & Fluffy

Thank you all for your replies you lovely people!!

Feeling much better after now, although I did fall over in front of about 30 people this evening so am now feeling a bit humiliated too! Topped my day off nicely

Pink x

loz

Hi Pink

Although not in the same position with regard to young kids and staying with rellies we are at the same stage visa wise and it sucks
Medicals etc went off 26th April and since then .....................bugger all
Hubby thinks I'm having an affair with the PC :scared: I spend so much time either on BE or looking in the in box for the precious e-mail.
This week has been 1 of the worst to date, hardly any visas granted (are they all on strike/holiday/sick ) or just pished
Ah well maybe next week.....................keep your chin up hon you aren't alone. Don't let the b******s grind you down

Loz x