just for laffs
Apr 15th 2005, 10:59 am
#1
Master of verbal pish©
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
just for laffs
got this today.....nearly pished myself 
AUSSIE ARMY LIFE
>> > Read this to the end - Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga
>> > to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a
>> > small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)
>> >
>> > Dear Mum & Dad,
>> >
>> > I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug
>> > and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell
>> > them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
>> > I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya
>> > don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now,
>> > cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots
>> > and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no
>> > feed to stack - nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not
so
>
>> > bad, coz
>> > there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
>> > At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no
>> > kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed
>> > again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are
>> > buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just
>> > like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
>> > This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.
>> > I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye
>> > is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not
>> > firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got
>> > into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is
>> > make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of
>> > piss!!
>> > You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in
>> > little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the
>> > rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
>> > Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta
>> > be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting
>> > with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once
>> > like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer
>> > either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've
>> > only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5
>> > and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as
>> > ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I
>> > fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
>> > I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in
>> > quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
>> > Your loving daughter,
>> >
>> > Jill
AUSSIE ARMY LIFE
>> > Read this to the end - Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga
>> > to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a
>> > small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)
>> >
>> > Dear Mum & Dad,
>> >
>> > I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug
>> > and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell
>> > them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
>> > I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya
>> > don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now,
>> > cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots
>> > and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no
>> > feed to stack - nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not
so
>
>> > bad, coz
>> > there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
>> > At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no
>> > kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed
>> > again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are
>> > buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just
>> > like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
>> > This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.
>> > I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye
>> > is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not
>> > firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got
>> > into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is
>> > make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of
>> > piss!!
>> > You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in
>> > little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the
>> > rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
>> > Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta
>> > be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting
>> > with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once
>> > like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer
>> > either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've
>> > only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5
>> > and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as
>> > ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I
>> > fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
>> > I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in
>> > quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
>> > Your loving daughter,
>> >
>> > Jill
Apr 15th 2005, 11:02 am
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Cairns
Posts: 3,918
Re: just for laffs
Nice.
Apr 15th 2005, 11:03 am
#3
Master of verbal pish©
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: just for laffs
Originally Posted by steandleigh
Nice.
Apr 15th 2005, 11:54 am
#4
~~~
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,849
Re: just for laffs
Originally Posted by soapy
got this today.....nearly pished myself
AUSSIE ARMY LIFE
>> > Read this to the end - Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga
>> > to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a
>> > small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)
>> >
>> > Dear Mum & Dad,
>> >
>> > I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug
>> > and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell
>> > them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
>> > I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya
>> > don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now,
>> > cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots
>> > and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no
>> > feed to stack - nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not
so
>
>> > bad, coz
>> > there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
>> > At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no
>> > kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed
>> > again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are
>> > buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just
>> > like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
>> > This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.
>> > I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye
>> > is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not
>> > firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got
>> > into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is
>> > make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of
>> > piss!!
>> > You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in
>> > little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the
>> > rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
>> > Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta
>> > be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting
>> > with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once
>> > like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer
>> > either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've
>> > only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5
>> > and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as
>> > ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I
>> > fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
>> > I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in
>> > quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
>> > Your loving daughter,
>> >
>> > Jill
AUSSIE ARMY LIFE
>> > Read this to the end - Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga
>> > to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a
>> > small town west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)
>> >
>> > Dear Mum & Dad,
>> >
>> > I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug
>> > and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell
>> > them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!
>> > I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya
>> > don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now,
>> > cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots
>> > and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no
>> > feed to stack - nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not
so
>
>> > bad, coz
>> > there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
>> > At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no
>> > kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed
>> > again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are
>> > buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just
>> > like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
>> > This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.
>> > I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye
>> > is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not
>> > firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got
>> > into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is
>> > make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of
>> > piss!!
>> > You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in
>> > little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the
>> > rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
>> > Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta
>> > be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting
>> > with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once
>> > like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer
>> > either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've
>> > only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5
>> > and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as
>> > ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I
>> > fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
>> > I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in
>> > quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
>> > Your loving daughter,
>> >
>> > Jill
PMSL - brilliant
Apr 15th 2005, 11:58 am
#5
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: pacific pines
Posts: 4,418
Re: just for laffs
Originally Posted by soapy
cheered me up today, got in from work....legs knackered, grab a beer and sat at the pic. and pished myself....now thats what i call a nice email lol
Legs knackered?? must have been a fair jaunt to the canteen then
!!Donna.
Apr 15th 2005, 11:49 pm
#6
Master of verbal pish©
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: just for laffs
Originally Posted by madsad
Legs knackered?? must have been a fair jaunt to the canteen then !!
Donna.
!!Donna.
it is...but at least i didnt have to walk back 
