Joke
Oct 25th 2005, 8:33 am
#1
.
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Joke
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
Oct 25th 2005, 8:41 am
#2
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
Hi Fraser, hows things?
Oct 25th 2005, 8:41 am
#3
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Re: Joke
Aussie guy walking down the road, when he spots another Aussie going the other way with a sheep under each arm;
"G'day mate, ya shearin'?"
"Naah, I'm gonna shag 'em both meself"
"G'day mate, ya shearin'?"
"Naah, I'm gonna shag 'em both meself"
Oct 25th 2005, 8:42 am
#4
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by Paul2004
Boom boom! ...
Hi Fraser, hows things?
Hi Fraser, hows things?
How's you?
Oct 25th 2005, 8:42 am
#5
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Aussie guy walking down the road, when he spots another Aussie going the other way with a sheep under each arm;
"G'day mate, ya shearin'?"
"Naah, I'm gonna shag 'em both meself"
"G'day mate, ya shearin'?"
"Naah, I'm gonna shag 'em both meself"
Oct 25th 2005, 8:43 am
#6
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Not too bad mate, thanks for asking.
How's you?
How's you?
All good ...
... just a house to sell! ... 
Oct 25th 2005, 8:45 am
#7
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Re: Joke
How do New Zealand Farmers find sheep in long grass?
Very Satisfying.
Very Satisfying.
Oct 25th 2005, 8:46 am
#8
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
How do New Zealand Farmers find sheep in long grass?
awkward? ...
Oct 25th 2005, 8:48 am
#9
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by Paul2004
awkward? ...
Oct 25th 2005, 8:50 am
#10
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Touche! Good luck with the house.
need a miracle not luck! ...
but there IS signs of it all picking up so one day! ... Still can't K you, but will asap ...
I'm spreading like a ....
Oct 25th 2005, 8:51 am
#11
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Good luck with the house.
Oct 25th 2005, 9:05 am
#12
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,027
Re: Joke
I know it is not PC but made me laugh. Have to do it with accents!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
Oct 25th 2005, 9:08 am
#13
.
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 21,374
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by Vanessa
I know it is not PC but made me laugh. Have to do it with accents!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
Oct 25th 2005, 9:09 am
#14
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,439
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by Vanessa
I know it is not PC but made me laugh. Have to do it with accents!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
There was an American, Englishman and Australian all having breakfast together with their wives.
The American says to his wife “pass me the honey, honey” and his wife passes him the honey.
The Englishman turns to his wife and says “pass me the sugar, sugar” and she passes him the sugar.
The Australian not wanting to be outdone turns to his wife and says “pass me the bacon, you big fat pig”!!!!
LOL
Oct 25th 2005, 9:11 am
#15
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fraser
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled.
Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor"
she said.
"Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl.
I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).
They came back and they both tried to pull her up.
"No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?
"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles
under
her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba
"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and fondle
her boobs."
"Fondle her boobs"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"
"Maybe not," Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we
can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive
Now.....where did hubbie put that spare tile
