It's been a long, long time!
Sep 19th 2005, 1:50 pm
#166
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,927
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Great post, and a long thread to start reading. Im at work at the moment but I shall read it tonight when I get home.
Thanks for giving us something interesting to read on here.
Thanks for giving us something interesting to read on here.
Sep 20th 2005, 2:40 pm
#167
been there........
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 349
Re: It's been a long, long time!
I don't think I realised how dangerous the condition was. It was a case of "okay, I have cancer, I'm having an operation to cut it out, I'll be cured and that'll be the end of it". I certainly didn't see it as potentially life-threatening. I tried to delay the surgery until the end of the year when we had a three month break from Uni, but the surgeon said sooner rather than later would be better - and he had a vacancy in his operating schedule next Monday - 5 days away! - so how about he did it then? My mind was still focused on my Uni commitments, but we were only a week away from our semester break. With the following month off, that would mean I had 5 weeks to recuperate, and that was do-able, surely?
I didn't have time to think about it too much. There were 2 x 3,500 word assignments to write, clean clothes for a week for M. and ML, food to buy, my part-time boss to advise, arrangements to be made with a neighbour to supervise ML both before and after school. This was my main worry; M. had become so irresponsible and unreliable that I couldn't trust my daughter's welfare to him. I was concerned that he wouldn't make sure she was fed and ready for school in the mornings or that he would'nt come home to cook a meal in the evening at a reasonable time. This is the hardest part about being a migrant; when there's no-one who will automatically give help when you need it; when you don't know anyone well enough to turn to them for comfort, support, reassurance and understanding. But 'what can't be cured must be endured', as my Granny used to say; you just have to go on and do the best you can at the time. So I did.
The hospital was a small private one in Cottesloe. I was admitted on the Sunday night and the surgery performed on Monday morning. Their pain-management techniques were wonderful! My first post-op memory is of waking up without pain and discovering from a nurse that it was now Thursday. Although the wound was quite stiff and sore (no keyhole surgery then!) I was not, either then or later, in pain. I was discharged on the following Sunday.
My recovery was quite normal. I was quite weak and walking any distance was difficult, but each day I did a little more, walked a little further and was pleased with my progress. But on the second Friday after my return home, M. came in from work and said that HE'D found my illness very stressful! And since he had holidays due, he'd decided on the spur of the moment to take a week off and to go to Darwin, to see his son. And he was flying out that night. In a very drunken phone call late on the following Wednesday, he told me that he and Mark had decided to go into business together, so he wouldn't be coming back to Perth. Some days later, I found out that he'd been sacked.
I didn't have time to think about it too much. There were 2 x 3,500 word assignments to write, clean clothes for a week for M. and ML, food to buy, my part-time boss to advise, arrangements to be made with a neighbour to supervise ML both before and after school. This was my main worry; M. had become so irresponsible and unreliable that I couldn't trust my daughter's welfare to him. I was concerned that he wouldn't make sure she was fed and ready for school in the mornings or that he would'nt come home to cook a meal in the evening at a reasonable time. This is the hardest part about being a migrant; when there's no-one who will automatically give help when you need it; when you don't know anyone well enough to turn to them for comfort, support, reassurance and understanding. But 'what can't be cured must be endured', as my Granny used to say; you just have to go on and do the best you can at the time. So I did.
The hospital was a small private one in Cottesloe. I was admitted on the Sunday night and the surgery performed on Monday morning. Their pain-management techniques were wonderful! My first post-op memory is of waking up without pain and discovering from a nurse that it was now Thursday. Although the wound was quite stiff and sore (no keyhole surgery then!) I was not, either then or later, in pain. I was discharged on the following Sunday.
My recovery was quite normal. I was quite weak and walking any distance was difficult, but each day I did a little more, walked a little further and was pleased with my progress. But on the second Friday after my return home, M. came in from work and said that HE'D found my illness very stressful! And since he had holidays due, he'd decided on the spur of the moment to take a week off and to go to Darwin, to see his son. And he was flying out that night. In a very drunken phone call late on the following Wednesday, he told me that he and Mark had decided to go into business together, so he wouldn't be coming back to Perth. Some days later, I found out that he'd been sacked.
Sep 23rd 2005, 9:17 pm
#168
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 610
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Hi, I normally inhabit the Canadian forums and happened upon this thread by chance while browsing the Oz forum. I was instantly hooked!
You have an amazing way with words. After a slight panic this evening when I couldn't find this thread I decided that I had to post on it so I would be alerted to each new post!
Thank you for sharing your life with us
God Bless.
You have an amazing way with words. After a slight panic this evening when I couldn't find this thread I decided that I had to post on it so I would be alerted to each new post!
Thank you for sharing your life with us
God Bless.
Sep 24th 2005, 3:16 pm
#169
been there........
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 349
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Perhaps not surprisingly, my first question was "And what the hell am I supposed to do?" To which the answer was that I had two choices; stay where I was and do the best I could, or sell the car (a small 12-year-old beaten-up Fiat), everything I couldn't carry and use the money to buy plane tickets to Darwin for ML and me - and the phone was slammed down.
I knew he hadn't liked the changes which being at Uni had made in me. The biggest was that I no longer made excuses for him to myself; no longer did I believe that he was a sick man who would recover, given unlimited amounts of patience, tolerance and TLC. I'd also stopped fooling myself that if I were a 'better' wife, lover, companion, cook, housewife, our marriage would become all I'd hoped and intended it to be, and I refused to accept the guilt and responsibility for the fact that it wasn't. No longer could he provoke me to anger or bully me into tears; I'd become emotionally remote and he resented it. But this - to force me away from something I so dearly loved, at a time when I was physically and financially at my most vulnerable - this showed a depth of malice beyond anything I'd thought even him capable of doing. For he knew darned well that the 'choice' he'd presented was really no choice. The rent on the unit was more than ny student allowance and even if I'd been well enough to go back to work - which I wasn't - my part-time earnings weren't enough to support two of us.
I sold the car to a neighbour at the first price he offered, packed clothes into two small suitcases, called a second-hand dealer who stripped the place of everything that wasn't nailed down - for a pittance - and booked ML and myself into a motel near the airport for a couple of days before we could get on a flight to Darwin.
I knew he hadn't liked the changes which being at Uni had made in me. The biggest was that I no longer made excuses for him to myself; no longer did I believe that he was a sick man who would recover, given unlimited amounts of patience, tolerance and TLC. I'd also stopped fooling myself that if I were a 'better' wife, lover, companion, cook, housewife, our marriage would become all I'd hoped and intended it to be, and I refused to accept the guilt and responsibility for the fact that it wasn't. No longer could he provoke me to anger or bully me into tears; I'd become emotionally remote and he resented it. But this - to force me away from something I so dearly loved, at a time when I was physically and financially at my most vulnerable - this showed a depth of malice beyond anything I'd thought even him capable of doing. For he knew darned well that the 'choice' he'd presented was really no choice. The rent on the unit was more than ny student allowance and even if I'd been well enough to go back to work - which I wasn't - my part-time earnings weren't enough to support two of us.
I sold the car to a neighbour at the first price he offered, packed clothes into two small suitcases, called a second-hand dealer who stripped the place of everything that wasn't nailed down - for a pittance - and booked ML and myself into a motel near the airport for a couple of days before we could get on a flight to Darwin.
Sep 24th 2005, 3:57 pm
#170
Galaxy 1: Cadbury's 0
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,606
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by TheCrone
Perhaps not surprisingly, my first question was "And what the hell am I supposed to do?" To which the answer was that I had two choices; stay where I was and do the best I could, or sell the car (a small 12-year-old beaten-up Fiat), everything I couldn't carry and use the money to buy plane tickets to Darwin for ML and me - and the phone was slammed down.
I knew he hadn't liked the changes which being at Uni had made in me. The biggest was that I no longer made excuses for him to myself; no longer did I believe that he was a sick man who would recover, given unlimited amounts of patience, tolerance and TLC. I'd also stopped fooling myself that if I were a 'better' wife, lover, companion, cook, housewife, our marriage would become all I'd hoped and intended it to be, and I refused to accept the guilt and responsibility for the fact that it wasn't. No longer could he provoke me to anger or bully me into tears; I'd become emotionally remote and he resented it. But this - to force me away from something I so dearly loved, at a time when I was physically and financially at my most vulnerable - this showed a depth of malice beyond anything I'd thought even him capable of doing. For he knew darned well that the 'choice' he'd presented was really no choice. The rent on the unit was more than ny student allowance and even if I'd been well enough to go back to work - which I wasn't - my part-time earnings weren't enough to support two of us.
I sold the car to a neighbour at the first price he offered, packed clothes into two small suitcases, called a second-hand dealer who stripped the place of everything that wasn't nailed down - for a pittance - and booked ML and myself into a motel near the airport for a couple of days before we could get on a flight to Darwin.
I knew he hadn't liked the changes which being at Uni had made in me. The biggest was that I no longer made excuses for him to myself; no longer did I believe that he was a sick man who would recover, given unlimited amounts of patience, tolerance and TLC. I'd also stopped fooling myself that if I were a 'better' wife, lover, companion, cook, housewife, our marriage would become all I'd hoped and intended it to be, and I refused to accept the guilt and responsibility for the fact that it wasn't. No longer could he provoke me to anger or bully me into tears; I'd become emotionally remote and he resented it. But this - to force me away from something I so dearly loved, at a time when I was physically and financially at my most vulnerable - this showed a depth of malice beyond anything I'd thought even him capable of doing. For he knew darned well that the 'choice' he'd presented was really no choice. The rent on the unit was more than ny student allowance and even if I'd been well enough to go back to work - which I wasn't - my part-time earnings weren't enough to support two of us.
I sold the car to a neighbour at the first price he offered, packed clothes into two small suitcases, called a second-hand dealer who stripped the place of everything that wasn't nailed down - for a pittance - and booked ML and myself into a motel near the airport for a couple of days before we could get on a flight to Darwin.
Carmen.
Oct 18th 2005, 6:44 am
#171
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 29
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Please carry on with your story; I've been waiting far too long for the next installment. When are you bringing out the book?
Oct 18th 2005, 7:16 am
#172
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: It's been a long, long time!
C'mon Crone.......we're all waitin with baited breath and I've got me popcorn out ready
Anyone want some
Anyone want some
Oct 18th 2005, 12:38 pm
#173
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Halls Head, WA
Posts: 4,146
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by phoenixinoz
C'mon Crone.......we're all waitin with baited breath and I've got me popcorn out ready
Anyone want some
Anyone want some
Oct 18th 2005, 12:46 pm
#174
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,997
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by ohippy
I'll have some popcorn - sweet not salt tho !! None of that toffee stuff either - I do like it but last time it chipped my filling - cost a fortune to put right !!
We had salt popcorn at the dolphin show on the Gold Coast.
I thought it would be that nice bright blue or pink stuff that's reet sweet and really bad for you
I got a reet shock that it was that reet crappy salty stuff
Took a reet big gobfull I did
YUK....I was gippin and gippin.... and reet embarrased mesen I did
Nov 3rd 2005, 10:57 am
#175
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 149
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Just a little concerned The Crone has not been on for a while...
Anyone know if she is ok?
Bill
Anyone know if she is ok?
Bill
Nov 3rd 2005, 11:14 am
#176
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,918
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Yeah me too.!!!
What a fantastic thread
What a fantastic thread
Nov 3rd 2005, 12:01 pm
#177
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by Issie
Yeah me too.!!!
What a fantastic thread
What a fantastic thread
Nov 3rd 2005, 4:49 pm
#178
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,918
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by cranni
Hi , she is ok, i have had email, but i will ring her just to check ,i will let you know. Denise
Nov 3rd 2005, 11:27 pm
#179
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2005
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,844
Re: It's been a long, long time!
Originally Posted by Issie
Glad to hear she is ok...thank you Denise
Nov 4th 2005, 9:22 am
#180
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Port Macquarie, NSW
Posts: 138
Re: It's been a long, long time!
This is addictive. Just bumping it to the top again.