skye

Great reply Keebs - I will shout you the turkey etc as OH will want one too! - see you boxing day (and there will be no turkey on the table! )

dickchap

Hi, Reading your post was like reading my own feelings. We have been in Mackay for nearly 3 months now. I know it's not a long time but I am finding it really hard. I try to remember how it felt when we got our visa's and how we felt when we were planning our new life. I try and stay positive. It was our dream to come to OZ. It's not that I don't like it, its just something doesn't feel right. I am quite lonely most of the time and I really miss chatting with my friends back in the UK. The way I see it, we are going to carry on for a year and hope that we feel more settled. We are looking at it as a long working holiday. While we are here we are going to do as much as we can and see as many places as we can. This way if we do return to the UK we will have some great memories. I don't want to return to the UK with regrets.

Petals

I think its hard to be a migrant and if you are into the family and friends then you should really consider becoming one. You need to be independent and self sufficient. I have learned to be that because my parents moved me around the world from the age of 11.

Also you need to think seriously what you like, do you like the heat all the time and humidity or do you just like it sometimes. If you only like it sometimes and on holidays then you need to think seriously where you will live in Aus.

I have lived in Africa in the tropics, my mum and dad lived in the Kimberly but where did they retire, Melbourne, because its cooler the climate is easier to live in. People laugh and say its cold in winter, its not that cold but at least you can put a jumper on, its hard to get cool.

I am amazed at the number of people who are desperate to get here and then want to go home. I am at a loss to see what people expect, its not the UK with warm weather, its an entirely different life and for a migrant it means no extended family and no friends for a while, some make friends easily and some do not.

I am not criticising anyone I know where you are I have wished that I could have been near our extended family and my cousins and my children are also not near theirs. However its not to be I live here and I like it and its our life.

Think why you came was it for you or was it for the children, the children will grow make friends and adopt the life and like it as long as you let them.

Merseygirl

I think there are times in your life when you instinctively know when something feels wrong and it is right to honour those feelings. However, in your situation, I would say to give it 12 months and then review. You may feel a lot different a year down the track but if you don't then at least you have given it your best shot.
The time of year doesn't help and I'm sure is making you feel worse....Christmas in Oz just doesn't feel right for a lot of expats, myself included.

ausi dream

It is a very hard time of the year to be able to settle in, especially it being Christmas. You miss family more than ever and it seem so far away.
Let time go by when christmas and new year has passed and settle into normal day to day living and see how things feel then.
Hope things work out for you, wish you all the best.

Lenmil

Hey it's a hard time Christmas for many. Me too, this is the second Christmas i will not see my wife and this time my youngest son. Your in a new enviroment and a new way of doing things. This is my second go at Tasmania (tried NZ too) and it's not easy. But...give it time and you will come to a good conclusion either way. Some days i just want to go home others i want it to work. But the people i have met here have been wonderful and so open and welcoming to me and my family. Not gonna give it up unless i have to. It's a family decision by the way. My oldest boy loves it here and is out with mates all the time.

If you need to get it off ya chest this is the place. Many great friendly people on here who will give you the time of day. A rarity these days. Hang in there and give it some time. In 2005 i had to leave NZ due to our house not selling. Once back in the UK we hated it, but saying that ended up in Oz due to circumstances. Funny life the way things work out. Hope things turn out well for you.

Merry Christmas to all by the way. May the New Year bring a welcome one to many who need it.

PoppetUK

I've had a lot of feelings of going home this past three weeks. Been here nearly 2 years. Last year we had family over and I really got into Xmas this year I'm struggling. Haven't heard one Christmas song in the supermarket or on the radio yet, so I'm blasting my Xmas music out as I type trying to lift me.

This Xmas isn't right without family. I would definitely wait for Xmas to pass and give it a year then decide.

Merry Xmas all those expats. xx

emelems

Hope that you are feeling a bit better... I am going thru a bit of a tough patch (been on the SUnshine Coast for about 2/3 months now).. this is always the toughest time.. 3-6 months is usually the worst then it just starts to get better... after a year, for me, life settles down.. after 2 years I am established and life is usually in full swing (plus have done the return home visits and have a job and usually a couple of good friends)..

Stick with it.. get past Christmas... and the best way is usually to plan a couple of new goals.. take up a hobby (doest have to be expensive) and/or get a new focus on something?

I find keeping busy helps a lot.. as does a nice tablet of St Johns Wort each day!

Em x

ozzieclare2b

aww sweetie i can totally sympathise. We have been here almost 6 months and im just starting to feel settled. I think its helped ive made a few good friends who have been here longer , so been through it themselves and came out the other side. Its not easy as not everyone feels like this, i know my husband didnt, and to be honest i feel really homesick this week too.

Not all poms understand either, some run the other way when you say you arent doing cartwheels down to the beach lol, negatitvity and all that i guess which is fair enough.

I think everyone is right when they say give it time, id have happily gone home 4 months ago, but i think its also the people you meet as well. Try and get out and do other things except the beach, eg a friend and i are looking to start salsa classes in the new year. Im also changes jobs into something i really wanted to do for a while and this will keep me occupied, i find setting goals helps and id give it at least 12 months. Not sure if this helps but your very welcome to pm or skype me for a chat xx

mindblower

Think why you came was it for you or was it for the children, the children will grow make friends and adopt the life and like it as long as you let them.[/QUOTE]

Good point that last sentence ,the long ball game for my lad for us.

pompeyblonde

Not everyone has children, us selfish sods just came for ourselves!

spartacus

Are you Cambridge United?

bev1

Ok, i need to ask something

Firstly we've made the decision to go home, because 1 I know i will never get over missing my family and 2 the grass just wasn't that much greener.

i think Perth's beautiful and can't really fault the place apart from its not home, it's also got its problems as the uk has.

So why do people stay if they miss their family so much and say that Christmas is the worst time of year without them and even after 8-10 years they still feel the same.

Please dont attack my question , i'm probably just trying to justify that i'm making the right decision to return to the UK.

I miss my family so much i can't describe and i'm just not prepared to be unhappy and miss them(especially at Christmas) for the of my life

Wendy

I have a son in the UK, he's 21 and studying at Uni. I miss him so much it almost kills me, but I wouldn't go back just to be near him.

Why? well because I have two other kids that love it here, yes they miss him too but they really do have a better life here. We all do, we're much richer in a lot of ways - not necessarily money wise. We have more friends and some family here.

I also know that my eldest son won't live in the UK forever, we had to take our chance whilst it was there because if we hadn't we would have been left in the UK wondering what if and he'd have been somewhere like Japan making his own way in the world.

Another reason is that I lost both my Mum and Dad to cancer at very young ages (dad was 48, mum was 52) and I realised that I have a life to live and it's up to me to make the most of it before it's too late. This is something I always wanted to do so I feel extremely lucky to have got the chance to try it out.

It's probably different for me, I only have a very small amount of close family back there and since my Mum died I haven't really had many friends that hadn't moved on somewhere else. So I didn't have a great deal to leave behind. The ones I did leave behind, I love dearly but I can't live my life for them and I wouldn't expect them to do it for me.

You have to be happy my love, do what you need to do to make that happen. But don't go back for family, do it because that's what YOU need and want.

Pollyana

A lot of us are in mixed-country marriages - if we were in the UK, The Bloke would be away from his family, being here, I am away from mine. People like us are in a no-win situation as one half of the partnership will always be separated from the family.