Margaret2

Today, I have went through the day feeling totally sick, I know I haven't got a great life here and my job TOTALLY STINKS, , also just read Jacqui's post which didn't help, god pooooooooooor Jacqui.

BUT

Now I can feel my visa in the horizon I feel totally sick about it. My 14 year old, yes the one who doesn't want to go, came home with her report card and got all A's. She's also just phoned from a gymnast comp where she won. God she is so happy just now, and I know she loves school.

One of the reasons I wanted to go, was feel I don't have many friends or family here anyway, so none to miss. And I don't stay near any family I do have.

However I have an elderly mum, whom I was visiting at the week-end and popped over to see aa favourite aunt, and she invited me to an all girls holiday next summer with cousins and ohhhhhhhhh god I want to go so much, didn't realise how much they all meant to me.

However, if I don't go my hubby will absolutely go mental as 'yes' I was the one who initiated it all in the first place. I thought and thought and then came up with a brill idea, lets validate the visas and wait another couple of year untill my 14 year old finishes school. No bloody chance says he and he means it.

He is away just now with my younger daughter and I can't stop crying.

I know and feel quite pathetic to some of the people who have posted with problems - real ones, especially Jacqui, but I can't help feeling the way I do.

Is it real or just cold feet? and on the other hand I don't want to spend the next 10 years of my life her doing bloody nothing.

But any mothers with kids will know how I feel. Please don't any one lecture me about making decisions, not letting the kids rule your life etc, etc, I'm sure if she was younger it would be different rules. I now regard her as my lovely young, careing, pleasant (well most of the time) daughter who is an individual.

Would also like some comforting words from my scottish meet clan if any of them are out there, although not many of them seem to post much these days.

I hope this sick, horrible feeling goes away SOON

Sam

I hope it will too!!!
Your wouldn't be human if you didn't experience these feelings, it will all sort it self out (promise)

Sending you some k to help you feel a little better!!!!!

Sam xxxx

mish & al

Hi Margaret

I sincerely hope things work out for you...
The things you are feeling and experiencing are only normal.
When you're fed up with things and the opportunity of Oz and a better life for your family arises, of course you will grab it with both hands - after all you not many have the opportunity like this.

However, now things are getting closer you are beginning to appreciate the things you Do Have... i am also doing this at the moment, but i do not have any children to consider.... however, i want my children to experience the better lifestyle you would like to offer yours!!

Whatever you decide will work out okay for you i'm sure... like you have suggested you could wait, but i'm sure you will only experience the things you have described yet again.

My parents moved to oz when i was 8, bro was 11 and sis was 12.... of course we had issues, etc with no friends and family there but kids can adapt really quickly, you might be surprised!! When we returned some years later (family issues) we didn't want to leave!!!

Try to talk with your hubby a little more - not necessarily suggesting a cancellation of the dream or a delay but just for his support!!

Hope all works out for you...
Mish x x x

The Johnstons

Awww, Margaret, I really feel for you . I have feelings like this about my girls too (although they are much younger). My youngest especially doesn't want to go and talks frequently about the fact that she'll miss her friends, grandparents, school, clubs etc (she's only 5!). I have no advice for you as I don't know what to do about it myself, it completely rips your heart out . It's not that you're letting her rule your decisions, you had children to give them a good and happy life, so it's difficult to justify to them moving them AWAY from what, in their eyes is a good and happy life just to swap it for another which could potentially not be as happy for the child. That sounded a bit long-winded, I can't seem to get my thoughts together properly on this subject as it is so close to me too.

I can only advise reviewing your original reasons for going to Aus. Concentrate on the positive - could you research gymnastic clubs etc in Aus for your daughter to try to tempt her out there? My older daughter (8) has been completely taken in by the horseriding and swimming aspect as I found info that showed better facilities etc than she has here. I know it's so much more difficult with a teen so I wish you all the luck in the world. You have to be true to yourself too, if you feel that missing your family would be the worst thing in the world then maybe going at this time wouldn't be right for you.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help, pm me if you ever want to chat.

Take care, and I hope you feel better soon.
TJ

ezzie

Margaret, I feel for you so much. I don't know the reasons for you wanting to move OS, but I have to say that I'm in the opposite situation. Moved to Oz years ago and now want to return...fed-up of the sterile lifestyle here. Trouble is, I now have kids 12 & 10 yrs old who are 'Aussies', have friends, are settled in school etc. How on earth could I remove them from their home just to satisfy my urge to return to my homeland. Worse thing is, my mum & dad moved over to Oz to be with grandchildren - they'd never move back to the UK now...so I'm stuck.

Maybe now is a good time to re-evaluate your reasons to move because you could end-up like many of us here....stuck in Oz with our hearts still in Blighty. Set a time limit...if after 6 months/a year whatever, and you're not absolutely settled and happy, then go back having put it down to a life great experience. Maybe you'd have a brilliant life here, but don't fall for the 'everything will be OK in a new country' trap...we have crap jobs here too!
Ezzie X

mindblower

Concur with a few thoughts here...the more Oz looms the more you think about appeciating what you have ( jobs, lifelong friends, family, a home)....difficult but long term migration for the besy given this country's state.

Margaret2

Hi all, thanks for the replys and also thanx to gobbyjock and suzy(made me laugh some parts of it, do you really go the gym with your g.p.?, also, no it didn't sound lkie a lecture, was very reassuring infact) for their pm's, it's good to talk.

This also made me think about BE, it is a great sounding board and it great for lots of support, but do you think people actually meet people and know people from it, I would like to think yes, as I dare say I will be relying on it as a way to meet people, when.................dare I say get there.(Perth).


In answer to a couple of questions, we are already incontact with a fantastic gymnastic coach, who can't wait for my daughter to come, she has been great, sounds a lovely person, she has sent lots of photos and encouraging emails.

Also tried to get in contact with other teens in perth or who are going, but all the ones who are going seem to be refusing to discuss it, get the feeling they are blanking it out, which in a funny way was reassuring, as my girls feelings must be natural as she hates to talk, discuss or think about it as well.

suzy

Glad it made you laugh Margaret. Yes I really do go with him. I almost fell off the treadmill when I first saw him there. We always end up there on the same days, same time. He's got a fit bod for sure.- I try not to look any more

debbiemc

good luck margaret, sorry to hear you having a rough time of it.

debs x