Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Australia
Reload this Page >

How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Old Dec 11th 2020, 12:27 pm
  #16  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,206
brits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by E2905
Hi!

So, I’m hopefully (depending on visas/exemptions/flights) going to be moving to Brisbane in March or April to start a 2 year research project in a hospital.

However, I’m really struggling to tell my mum about this. I’m 23 and her oldest child, and have been back living at home since March this year, and we’ve got much closer since then than we were before.

I lived abroad for a year in the US as part of my undergrad degree, and things were fine then, but I’m so worried that she’ll react badly when I tell her about Australia. I think she’ll be worried about how far away I am, how neither of us will be able to travel to see each other easily in the current environment, and that I’ll end up staying there permanently (which is a possibility). I just keep avoiding the conversation but I know time is running out and I need to tell her.

I’m certain that this is what I want to do, and although I am nervous about some things, overall I feel excited and ready to move onto the next chapter of my life. I suppose I could do with some advice from people who’ve had this conversation with their parents, especially while living with them, and perhaps from people who have children my age - what would your response and concerns be?

thank you
E
​​​​​​Hi, I would tell her but maybe wait until just after Christmas ...telling her may put a little damper on things and after this year we all need to try and have a nice time during the holidays. I would let your mum know (when you do tell her) that it's still not 100% certain at the moment and maybe talk with her about how your feeling about the move...ie your worries about family etc.

Good luck with everything
brits1 is online now  
Old Dec 13th 2020, 6:46 am
  #17  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Location: Perth
Posts: 623
paddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud ofpaddy234 has much to be proud of
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by E2905
Hi!

So, I’m hopefully (depending on visas/exemptions/flights) going to be moving to Brisbane in March or April to start a 2 year research project in a hospital.

However, I’m really struggling to tell my mum about this. I’m 23 and her oldest child, and have been back living at home since March this year, and we’ve got much closer since then than we were before.

I lived abroad for a year in the US as part of my undergrad degree, and things were fine then, but I’m so worried that she’ll react badly when I tell her about Australia. I think she’ll be worried about how far away I am, how neither of us will be able to travel to see each other easily in the current environment, and that I’ll end up staying there permanently (which is a possibility). I just keep avoiding the conversation but I know time is running out and I need to tell her.

I’m certain that this is what I want to do, and although I am nervous about some things, overall I feel excited and ready to move onto the next chapter of my life. I suppose I could do with some advice from people who’ve had this conversation with their parents, especially while living with them, and perhaps from people who have children my age - what would your response and concerns be?

thank you
E
Hey, just checking if you applied for your visa yet as there are some extreme delays at the moment. I heard of a nurse from Ireland who applied for a working holiday visa in June and still hasn't heard back.
paddy234 is offline  
Old Dec 13th 2020, 7:30 pm
  #18  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Sep 2020
Posts: 12
E2905 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by paddy234
Hey, just checking if you applied for your visa yet as there are some extreme delays at the moment. I heard of a nurse from Ireland who applied for a working holiday visa in June and still hasn't heard back.
I’m waiting for some final documents to come through this week and then can apply, but have done some research and it seems that if you apply for a travel exemption shortly after applying for the visa, they’re often granted at the same time - as most people applying for these visas wouldn’t actually be able to travel they’re not granting them quickly without exemptions (which I may not get, but do meet the criteria)
E2905 is offline  
Old Dec 13th 2020, 7:32 pm
  #19  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Sep 2020
Posts: 12
E2905 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by quoll
Well, you're not going forever why would you not talk to your mum about it? I'd hope my kids would let me know if they'd applied for a position overseas. Mine never asked permission, they just told me what they were doing and got on with it. But, then, I've never been a parent who kept their kids tied to their apron strings. We did the same to my parents - just told them we were going. If your 2 years extends into something else then at least she will have been used to you not being there for a while. You will miss important family things, you might even not be there should anything happen to your olds but if you are self sufficient and self reliant you should manage OK in a foreign country. I'm like Tomar, it was worse back in the day when there were aerogrammes and phone calls cost £1 a minute but you get on with it and stay connected however you can.
thank you - I suppose I’m nervous she’ll be upset or disappointed, especially as there are a few other stressful family things going on at the moment. I’m not asking her for permission, but I would really hope she can be supportive of it.

I agree it’s so much easier now to stay in touch and we did this while I was in the US, but then I was a 7 hour flight away without all the stuff going on right now!
E2905 is offline  
Old Dec 13th 2020, 9:24 pm
  #20  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
quoll's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,374
quoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond reputequoll has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by E2905
thank you - I suppose I’m nervous she’ll be upset or disappointed, especially as there are a few other stressful family things going on at the moment. I’m not asking her for permission, but I would really hope she can be supportive of it.

I agree it’s so much easier now to stay in touch and we did this while I was in the US, but then I was a 7 hour flight away without all the stuff going on right now!
She probably will be very upset and disappointed especially if you are leaving her to cope with a whole other load of stress but you just have to put on your big girl knickers and crack on. If you let her upset rule your life then you are never going to go anywhere. I neglected to say that a good migrant has to have a very healthy dose of selfishness too, to make it work! (Not saying that is easy of course!!!)
quoll is offline  
Old Feb 27th 2021, 11:32 am
  #21  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 1
aliwatkinson is an unknown quantity at this point
Thumbs up Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Did you tell your mum in the end?
aliwatkinson is offline  
Old Mar 1st 2021, 8:30 am
  #22  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 702
abner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond reputeabner has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: How to tell your parents you’re moving across the world?

Originally Posted by E2905
I lived abroad for a year in the US as part of my undergrad degree, and things were fine then, but I’m so worried that she’ll react badly when I tell her about Australia. I think she’ll be worried about how far away I am, how neither of us will be able to travel to see each other easily in the current environment, and that I’ll end up staying there permanently (which is a possibility). I just keep avoiding the conversation but I know time is running out and I need to tell her.

I’m certain that this is what I want to do, and although I am nervous about some things, overall I feel excited and ready to move onto the next chapter of my life.
This may seem like a strange analogy, but bear with me...

When my wife and I were about to have our first child, I was nervous and excited in much the same way you describe. And my sister, younger but far more experienced in such matters (as a degree nurse in a children's hospital), took me aside and said, "your heart's in the right place, and given that, they're actually much harder to damage than you think".

I believe the same sentiment, and likely outcome from it, will apply to your mother, upon receiving news of your nascent move to Australia.

If it clearly makes sense for you, she will rally from any initial distress, and support it.
abner is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.