Mrs Jackaroo

Before I moved to Australia (19 months ago) I sort of crashed - panic attacks etc etc and mood swings pretty bad........to the point where we actually delayed the move. I've been a bit up and down since arriving but I'm definitely glad we made the move.

Anyway.......friends of ours have not long moved over (5 weeks) and she is really struggling. She was (like me) a very strong person and thrived on stress. She is just completely lost at the moment and cant feel motivated to do anything, is very emotional etc etc - I have tried to tell her that it is just stress and that emigrating is a huge strain on the mind and body, but I'm pretty sure she believes it to be Australia causing her distress (even though she really likes the area shes living in). After just 5 weeks she is at the point where she is considering returning to the UK (even if this means leaving without her husband). I think in a way I was lucky that my stress levels peaked when I was still in the UK.....because I knew that it was related to the process of moving to Australia, rather than Australia itself (if that makes sense?)

So.....I was just wondering how many of you guys have been through similar experiences (this will hopefully be good for her to read). She was so looking forward to the move and didnt for one minute think she'd struggle. She says she doesnt feel homesick at all which is why she cant understand why shes feeling the way she is.

Minds and bodies are wierd things arent they.

Thanks

Rach xxxx

renth

It's really sad, I see it all the time. It is usually but not always the females who suffer from this. Some get over it most learn to live with it.

I was speaking to my colleague the other day about that show 10 Pound Poms on ABC and how my Mrs is still homesick 5 years in. She's been here 30 years and told me it doesn't ever go away.

I think the important thing for people coming out here is to anticipate it, to expect it even, then it might be easier to deal with when it hits.

esperanza

I think sometimes when you get really wound up over the move - which is natural, as there is so much to organise and sort out - it can then be a bit of a come-down when you arrive. It's as if everything in your life revolves around the move, and then once you have moved what is there to do next? If you have no solid 'next' on your agenda, then you can feel a bit aimless & unsettled, which can really knock you for six when it happens at the same time as arriving in a new country. Perhaps it is worse when you are the kind of person who thrives on challenge/stress/organisation, as it keeps you going and then when you don't have it anymore what do you hang your life around?

I felt upset at times in our first few weeks, and still do on occasion. It's not homesickness in the sense of wanting to go back (I don't), I think it's just feeling unsettled & anchorless in a new place, and that is very daunting & frightening. Even though logically you knew it would be like that, and you know it will be ok, you still can feel upset & overwhelmed by it all. Then you can feel that you are failing in someway, or it is just too hard to face and you would rather go back home. I suppose only each individual can make their own decision about whether to try and ride it out or to cut losses and head home.

Hope your friend manages to get through it though - she is certainly not at all alone in feeling this way.

gedge

fwiw perhaps your friend could do with a breather, time to enjoy her surroundings and realise the achievement of getting here... a week away somewhere to see Aus at it's finest, i'm sure you can recommend a place that might suit them
then hopefully with a clearer head she can properly consider the factors that are causing this distress and approach them in the right frame of mind

i think you're probably the next best for her too, a caring friend, someone who knows what it's like and proof that there is a light at the end of it all
best of luck to them

Timber Floor Au

A lot has to do with Familiarity and the security that brings, along with the self esteem and confidence you gain.

The phrase like a fish out of water is never truer in my opinion.

It is hard at times, to maintain a stiff upper lip.. especially when at the slightest thing, you can and could be in floods of tears...

I have at times, and trust me I dont miss the UK whatsoever, and never will.. that I am 100% sure on...

But i do miss the root of my memories..

.. example:

The other week.. had a couple of drinkypoos... was a warm night ... everyone in bed.. out having a smoke, and thinking how well the kids are doing... all fine n dandy.. then looked up at the stars.. and suddenly my thought process was on my mum ( in heaven now ) but how she would be so proud of us and the kids...

... and then its EMOTIONAL DOMINOES !!!!

fark... its hard and i dont think as renth says bout his mrs, it dont ever get easier, or foggier... which is a godsend really, cos memories are to remember ... otherwise theyd be called Forgottentees !!!

so I can empathise with your friend, but on my level.. cos well im shallow, and self centred and find it difficult at times understanding other peoples plights..

by that, I mean .. yer its so easy to say , I know how your feeling.. but its best only to say it when you really have been in their shoes !

my bit said anyway, made sense to me

valspal

Ive been here 23 years and i still have it! Sometimes it goes away and then other times its back. Now im in a bad patch and seriously looking into moving back.

I think also it depends on how your life works out. mine di

Mrs Jackaroo

Thanks for all the replies guys

I'll send her the link to this thread and she can check it out herself

Rach xxxx

Wendy

By the time I got to week five I was nearly murdering my OH a few weeks later it was the kids, then after about 3 months it started getting easier.

It's a very stressful thing to go through and it takes even the best of us time to get through the first few months, and it's especially tough when all the initial running around has finished and you're left wondering what the hell to do next.

It can and does get easier for most people, so hang in there for a little while.

busterboy

I can agree with this Wendy....after 9 months, I seem to be going through a slightly easier patch. (Less demented at least)!

Wendy

You, less demented? Impossible

I'm really glad to hear that things are getting easier for you, long may it continue

busterboy

Drugs and beer Babe, drugs and beer!

Wendy

Good on yer Welcome to my world

northernbird

so whats changed then

busterboy

Same aids, different day!

When are you get your super soft knicks over to Melbourne?

northernbird

When we have some money Renovations have pretty much wiped us out!

Will be next year sometime, probably around the Moto GP time.