charlie brown

i have got to do this tonight, and it's scaring me more than i would care to say .
why do they still put the fear of god into me when i have to tell them something important

kris maynard

Mum Dad Im now a grown up, Im going to live in Australia so start saving for your trip over!!

Good Luck

Kris xx

mindblower

The sooner you tell them the better, its off your mind and they have been told. There will be inevitable sadness and shock, but time is a healer , there
may be greater understanding/acceptance as time passes. Be firm in your mind what you want and where your'e going and why.

Dave

Juliecabs

Hi Shelly,
God, I don't envy you
We told ours back in January before we started this whole process to give them enough time to get used to the idea. My parents were fine. Upset but fine as they understand completely why we want to go. Bu the IL's - that's another story. They sat quietly while we told them, and any questions they had we answered. Unfortunately they still haven't got their heads round the situation and now won't talk to us. But that is their problem and nothing we do or say makes any difference. They even had a go at us for telling them so far in advance. They asked why we hadn't told them until we had the visa, so they didn't know about it for so long. WTF! We can't win either way.
My advice is to sit them down, say the words, give them the reasons why, and make sure you've got answers for all their questions like "Why, When, What if, How" etc. And whatever you do, don't get caught up in emotional blackmail. Stick to your guns and don't back down.

Good Luck
Julie

P.S. Forgot to add that my IL's said "Well, don't expect us to visit you". I turned round and told them "That's fine, we'll just come and visit you instead". They had no answer to that. Any obstacles they came up with we knocked down, so be prepared to do the same.

Three Legs

Tell your Dad you can get him Ashes tickets for the 2006/2007 series ...

It's a sweetner !

Not an easy one ... my parents still haven't come to terms with it fully and they were told in May 2003.

I think in our case, it's a mixture of heartbreak (Me, the wife and the grandkids going), slight jealously (they thought of doing the same over 30 years ago), business worries (I'm with Dad in a family business and he's not getting any younger) and a little bit of selfishness (What's going to happen to one when the other passes on) ...

All very understandable reasons and ones which made the decision even harder.

The decisions been made though ... and it's FINAL.

Good Luck

Three Legs

CJN

I just told mine that I was sick of the weather here & sick of the keeping up with the Jones's mentalilty of this country.

Three Legs

That's very admirable but it's not always as easy as that. Some families are "very" close ...

Oakie

I told my parents at a large family dinner out, I really shouldn't have started with the words, 'we have an announcement to make'.

You could see the wedding bells/prams in their eyes. Oops, probably should have thought about that, all a bit of any anti-climax!!

Just say its what you really want. Do you think it'll be a problem?

charlie brown

thanks everyone what ever you do ,it's going to hurt them unless they start cheering and say one down one to go then i will be shocked :scared: it's harder as we have the only grandchild so feeling relay guilty , if it was just us it would be so easy, hubby said we could offer to leave him behind if they give us to much grief, but i said was a no no

CJN

Just remember who's life it is in the end.

Yes they'll be upset, but if you didn't go & then in the future your kids wanted to emigrate you'll be upset thinking that you'd missed out.

charlie brown

yes we are a close , that whats making it hard :scared:

Hutch

My parents were great about, but then they're ozzies living in NSW As for the wife's parents, they took it very well - there again, they spend half their lives on holiday, so I don't think they'll object to spending a 10th of every year down under.

CJN

Or what's the alternative................

Meet them tonight, tell them that it is your dream to go to Oz & try a new lifestyle BUT your going to stay put because you don't want to upset anyone............ it doesn't matter that you're going to resent everyone & everything for the rest of your life because you didn't go for your dream.

Tell them that you might hate it & might want to move back to this cold rock

yamahaha

...which is why the generic Question presented in the subject header can never really be answered in a public forum. Its a personal thing as no two family relationships are the same. Poeple however will provide you with their experiences.

Heres a short version of our ours:
My M&D
Me: eeeeer we're off to Oz to live, what do you think of that?
Dad: Cool! We'll come over to visit next year. Id rather you didnt go but its your life, go for it!

Wifes M&D
Wife: eeeeer we're off to Oz to live, what do you think of that?
Wifes Dad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGRRRHHHH gerrout of my house, how can you do that RAAAAAAARGGHHH RANT RANT VOMIT SNARLLL ETC etc!!!!
Me to Wife: F*** me what just happened there? Lets get out of here!! And we did!

It was a shock for him and I guess, but hes come round to it a bit more now. aaaaaand we're allowed back in his house, which is nice.

Good luck!

charlie brown

if i can chouse can i hve the it's you life one please