Pootle

I have been here in Melbourne for 6 months and do enjoy it very much. The lack of family is I think starting to get to me though (and also the lack of visa!). I am starting to think maybe we'll stay to get citizenship then think about returning

We lived about 3 hours from my family so it's not like some others who may see them every day - we saw them about 4 times a year for a weekend. They are coming out later this year for a visit and I kind of hoped that in a few years they might retire out here. But NO!!!!! Not now the retirement visa has changed, they would not stand any chance of getting in

Neither could they on a parent visa as I have 2 siblings in the uk. I am now soooo fed up and miserable. It wasn't a certainty anyway but its nice to have the options there. All the guilt feelings coming back also about taking the grandchildren away (they never mention this, that is just my personal feelings)

Well, thanks for listening! I'm sure I'll cheer up tomorrow,

Ruth

Sandra

Missing family is tough but remember you will have good days as well, so enjoy the time for yourselves between now and them coming out do not count down the days.

I still have bad days three years on but make sure I phone a lot with the cheapie cards and chat on here or others I have met about it. We understand. Don't think too much about making big decisions when you are feeling down. I must have packed bags and threaten awful dire outcomes to my husband about going back....but I am still here three years on, as only two of them count to PR we have not got citizenship yet. But when it comes I still think we are settled enough here to last another 3 till the youngest finishes SC - I sort of put medium term plans in place to cope with each hurdle or emotion, looking at something from the point of view of we are here for life can be very daunting for me anyway.

Also remember things can change and don't say never! My dad of all people (he left going living abroad when I was nine, and was a t sea before that) I see more of than ever and he has high hope of coming for longer periods! when he retires. My mum buggered off to Spain after telling me I was taking
her family away, but has since visited for such long period I am honestly very glad to see the back of her!

Hope you feel better soon - like about this evening when you have a glass of wine and watch some aussie crap TV

spuds

Hi Pootle,

Just wanted to second Sandra's post and hope that you feel better soon. Everyone misses family more or less at some point but it does get easier. Our family come out every year to visit as they love it here and spend at least three weeks with us (like Sandra, it can be quite a relief to get your life back!) which is more than we would ever have spent with them in the UK. This is what we keep telling ourselves - we actually see more of them now than ever!

We also make sure we email regularly, send pics/videos and pressies back and fore and it all helps to make us feel a bit closer. Sometimes it does feel a long way away but they are only ever 24hrs away and you may find you spend more time with them than you ever did... like it or not

Keep your chin up. X

Mummy

I don't think anyone ever fully comes to terms with the fact that their family is 11000km's away on the other side of the planet.

We too lived 4/5 hours away from family back in the UK, so only saw them infrequently throughout the year. I don't think it is so much about the fact that you miss them (as we only saw then a few times a year) as the mental picture that is in my head about the distance between us. I can still pick up the phone and call any time I want, so speak to them every week. But when we go back to visit it takes 24 hours to get there. I was concerned last week, because when I phoned, I was told that my mum had broken her wrist, and that made me feel far away.

Having a webcam helps. We webcam with the family every few weeks, and it is really sweet now because we went back to the UK to visit at the beginning of June, and my son now recognises my parents, and interacts with them on the webcam.

Catherine

Pomster

leaving family behind is probably the hardest thing about moving to Australia.

Sometimes it is great to be so far away when family traumas develop and I can be an interested bystander. At other times it is harder, but cheap phone calls (we use supersaver) helps as long calls are very affordable, or you can make lots of short ones to feel in touch.

Having just returned from a holiday to UK I am finding it hard to settle back in, but a mate has just said the same applies to her after an family holiday back to SA...just one of those things, but ultimately someone has to make the break to improve life for your family. Just think your children will never even have to contemplate the idea of migrating to Australia!

I think you will always experience ups and downs- and in the down time remember to focus on the reasons you came here in the first place!

Pootle

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I'm feeling better already. Will defo have that glass of wine (or two..) this evening though. We do love it here, haven't bought our own house yet so should feel more settled then. I don't really want to 'go back'. Hubby recently went over on a business trip and we toyed with the idea of going with him. Apart from the cost (a lot!) I felt I wasn't that keen to go!! I would love to see the family of course, but the thought of all that travelling again with 2 children didn't appeal at all. Also my daughter (6) is starting to become more settled and we thought it would unsettle her again to go back for a visit so soon.

It just gutted me to read the changes in the retirement visas as I know they had plans to look into going down that route. I think also there are not many expats living in this area (Ivanhoe). Maybe I need to move somewhere else?
Thank you all for your support,
Ruth

fraser

I suppose it's a bitter-sweet pill, on the one hand you miss your family but on the other no in-laws

Pootle

Not quite!! My husband and his brother are both here so his parents would be able to come on a parent visa!! No plans as yet though but at least they have the option.
Ruth

fraser

Each to their own, but :scared:

Pootle

Very :scared: :scared:

Jacqui

But they might decide (when they're grown-up) to return to the UK - especially if they were taken away from grandparents/aunts and uncles at an age where they really miss them. I did feel guilty about bringing the kids here, away from all our relatives, but I can't help thinking it may all come back to haunt me in say, 10 years time - what's to stop any one of our three children moving back to the UK and taking MY grandchildren away from me?

Pootle

I know what you mean, its hard isn't it?? You would at least have the option of going over there to live though. My parents don't have the option of coming here. Also thats a good reason to stay!! (No not that one!) If we lived in the uk, the kids grew up and migrated to Oz - then where would we be?????
Oh its such a dilemma....