PaddyHaHa

Hell I thought this would be the easy bit - we've got the visa and we've exchanged contracts on the house, flights are booked for 29/09/08. - But then OH tries to contact a missing sister and all hell breaks loose! - I thought I was the mad one with problems with family. But, oh no, all these hidden feelings from OH surface - he's been denying for years that he cares about a missing sister and now he tries in the last 4 weeks to contact her and resolve 10's of years of conflict. I thought the English were mad, but now I know for sure the Irish are worse!!!! Mrs PHH going gradually insane!

PaddyHaHa

Thanks for moving us I wasn't sure where we belonged!! Mrs PHH

WelshSarah

The prospect of such a big move makes people do all sorts of funny things!!

My family now call me every day ( used to be when they wanted something!) and I get all these texts etc miss you... love you... What crap!!!

Also the inlaws ( MIL, FIL, SIL) have all travelled here to visit us and in the 17 years of marraige/ relationships we've never been on as much as a day trip!!!

You can choose your friends..... Stuck with the blood rellies!!!

Good luck and its easier just to ride the storm IMHO... It will settle down once you move as a leopard doesnt change its spots...

moonpig

I guess your OH feels that as you are finalising your life here ready for your life in Oz so all loose ends need tieing up and all T's crossed and I's dotted.

He obviously feels that this is one area of his life needs a little bit of completion.

How likely are his chances of finding his sister?

He may need to feel that even if he doesn't find her, just by trying will be enough and he can go away with a clear consience.

If he does locate his sister, take it as and when. It again could confirm as to why he hasn't been in contact with his sister for 10 years and reaffirn it.

I say, let him try and locate her as long as everything else gets completed for the big day and just go with it.

Hope this helps.

Moonpig

PaddyHaHa

Thanks loads - In his heart my OH knows about the leopard - he just needs to know he's done everything in his power before he goes, then he can leave with no guilty feelings - I guess that has to be ok! He's trying his best to resolve existing conflicts, but now they have a timescale and the rest of them thought it was going to be on the long finger - Life's never what you expect!!

If anyone else is dealing with the same then God Bless. Mrs PHH

spartacus

Oooh! You heartless mare!

PaddyHaHa

Yep Moonpig, you're right. The difficulty is that sister left 3 children with other members of the family to look after. So OH want's to speak to sister to try and resolve this issue - (cos as the eldest son, he has the family responsibility for. Father is long gone so doesn't count.) he's finding it hard to walk away without resolving before he goes.

moonpig

Bit of Welsh Karma sent your way!

moonpig

If your does his bit and attempts to find her (whether he finds her or not) he's done his duty.

I know men walk away from their kids all the time but it's terrible when it's the mother that does that. She sounds like the sort of women who proberly now has another family and apart from minor curiosity will leave it at that. If she could be bothered. There's such a short time frame for his involvement that If he does locate her I would recommend that any contact should be via the phone only. Too much water under the bridge and extreme emotions for anything more.

Mrs Miggins

Nothing like judging someone with little understanding of why they have behaved a certain way. As you rightly say it's very rare for women to leave their children, and one should really take the time to maybe understand why a woman would before condemming them, mental health issues are the main reason why women leave their children, along with fleeing from abuse.....I think it's very hard to know what "sort" of woman she is and what she can and can't be "bothered" to do from the information here.

Mrs M x

moonpig

You are totally right Mrs M, I did pre judge and for that I am sorry. As you said there could be many, many different reasons as to why she left.

irishfamily

What was that about the irish paddyhaha.Tell me about it my Oh brother never turned up 4 the family meal he never even rang my OH t say bye familys i could write a book lol.As far as im concerned the only family u need is ur OH and ur kids

WelshSarah

Aye!! Telling it like it is thats all!!!

PaddyHaHa

She doesn't have a new family - from what we gather her new faimly is alcohol and an abusive partner - which is why the kids were offloaded - to protect them! She now doesn't contact them, but OH just needs to tell her that the rest the family will support her if she came home - he would love to say goodbye, but new partner won't give us any contact details. Life's never as simpke as you think!! Mrs PHH

PaddyHaHa

Paddyhaha, completely agrees with you. But cant help hoping that sis will come thro for him. I think he's wasting his time, but here's to hoping. Mrs PHH