avi

Hi all
Merry christmas everyone but I would love some advice on how to deal with the overwhelming feelings of OMG this is the last time we could see them or do this cos I keep crying and I need to be able to not for the kids and also I am really looking forward to the move in april and the tears can happen even at work which is sooooo not good ( I work in a forensic mental hospital with scary men) It can happen any time so guys please help how do I deal with this

( also i dont do tears I have always been the stiff upper lip sort as well )

I am the person everyone comes to to mop up thier tears and help them this is sooooooo out of character for me

Sorry for the babble

NickyC

If it's that bad before you even leave - why are you leaving?

Why put yourself through it? Doesn't bode that well for a successful migration.

avi

Hi Nick I do want to leave and I have 3 countdown charts as well
1 for the flights
1 for the notice
1 for how many shifts left to work

but this is a huge move for us and maybe its become real now we have worked for this for 4 long years and I am working 5 and 6 days a week ( I work 12hr shifts) maybe its cos Im scared or maybe its cos of the work do on top of it all I dunno its so unusual for me to be like this.

I am having a tough time at work Manager is trying to intimidate me so it could be all the things together dunno
see i babbling again hmmmmn maybe I need to see the doc lol

NickyC

I just think that if people can't bear the thought of a Christmas without the same family and friends around, then migration is not really for them.

But if you're crying a lot (and it's out of character for you) then maybe it is stress and/or overwork and a doctor's visit might be a good idea.

Kooky.

It's natural to think, "oh this is the last time we're...", but I hope you're ending those thoughts with an excited, "...because next year we'll be in [wherever] having totally new experiences!".

Try to enjoy your last Christmas in the UK - it's ok to be emotional, it's that kind of time without the migration factor, but you're making memories so try to enjoy it, and look forward.

I'm a bit teary too - I was supposed to be in the UK right now, spending my first Christmas without a Mum with the rest of my family, cancelled because of the uncertain travel situation - but I'll be buggered if I'm not going to make the most of it, enjoy this beautiful blue sky and have a bottle of Veuve with my prawns

avi

thanks
Yeah we are thinking because we will be in the sun the next time we do this so it is happy tears and generally christmas is just us 4 cos my parents live in spain his parents are dead my siblings are far away and his sisters well least said soonest mended lol.

Its not major tears its just tears and hubby and I end up laughing at me and yes we are making lots of memories which is probably why I am teary as well cos I keep thinking oh must see them and do this cos this time next year we will be in the sun doesnt help when my best mate crys as she writes the date in her diary for our leaving party sad huh?

I cant wait and am looking forward and have done heaps of research over the last 4 years and in one sense wish it was tomorrow we were flying lol

quoll

No reason why it should be the last time. It may not be the next time or the next but there will be times in the future when you spend Christmas with all those you love around you. There is nothing to say that you have to stay in Australia for the rest of your days - you may have some other wonderful opportunities which come your way down the track which may see you move elsewhere.

cazza36

Hi there,
We too are flying out on Jan 7th, and me for one can not wait, My husband has had a few wobbles but I am so positive about the whole move. Its a new life and I know there will be some sad moments, but I hope the good ones out weigh the bad! and thank god for the internet and web cams. All my family has said "go for it", and like other quotes on here, you could always fly back on Xmas to see family

pink13

Don't think it really matters how why what or who, it is human nature to feel apprehensive about change even if we are excited, it is a huge thing to do and it took me 2 attempts before i made it over here,
embrace the feelings and just let them happen and you will get through it, if you try and block them that is when you will fall down, (am i preaching to the one who knows!!) you work will mean you know all the answers (i am in a similar line of work) but looking in the mirror and really seeing you is a dam sight harder than helping others

Good luck and enjoy the journey best case scenario its the best thing you will ever do worse you go back with your tails between your legs licking your wounds

avi

Thanks All

It is hard and yes I do let them out sometimes (the feelings lol) Thanks Pink13 it is so much easier helping others than me hence why I on here blabbing than talking about it with family and friends cos I dont wanna upset them Ach well it will be an adventure and every day I do my count down and smile and every day I have a wobble at some stage and I expect the closer the count gets to 1 the more I will have especially as I spend time with loved ones. I went through this when my parents moved to Spain just not as extreme good job Im not one of my patients lol Id be on 1:1 by now

We have bought family and friends webcams and planning to get email addys etc in a nice new book ready for the move and I have gifts planned for them all as well just little pics etc nothing big.

But thanks all for your kind words I will embrace it all and you are right you are never sure what will happen around the corner.

Thanks

Persia

You're bound to have some feelings of loss because you're emigrating and Christmas is such a sentimental time anyway. Put them both together and it's no wonder you feel the way you do.

Go easy on yourself and when you feel those tears coming just think this may be the last time for a while so I'd better make the most of it and get some fond memories to look back on.

Cez

I'd agree with the posts suggesting you see things as being "the last time ever", it will make your move from the UK really hard, and make it tougher for you to settle in Australia. Australia may be on the other side of the world, but it's not on another planet, there's nowt to stop you going back for holidays, christmas etc.... Just make sure you set money aside so you have this as a possibility and then have something to look forward to. Also I would start looking forward to "the first time" - the first time you spend an afternoon drinking wine on a gorgeous beach, the first time you try and figure out why you can't find courgettes in Woolies, your first Australia day, the first time youhave someone from home come out to visit you. Life is too short, keep positive!