lme30005

Hi

I am new here and in a dilemma. My husband has a good job offer in Sydney which would mean we were financially better off there and good for his CV. I've always been keen to live abroad but now I'm not so sure.

I'm probably about 40% wanting to go but is this enough? Should I be really wanting to go, so if times are tough over there, it will all seem worth it?

The children/education/leaving behind friends and family are the things stopping me wanting to go. But financially/career wise it would be good to go.

Need to make such a massive decision in the next week so any positive Sydney thoughts would be good, as I've never been there or have a clue what it's like.

TIA

Louise

Bikergirl

It depends on whether you are looking at it as a permanent move or just an experience for you and the family for a few years.

My husband and i are looking at it as an experience with a view to making it permanent move but we don't have kids to consider. We have shipped everything and moved the dog too with this view.

We had visited Australia before, but moved with an open mind about the difference of a holiday and living/working here.

sonlymewalter

Welcome to the board mate

Quick question - how sure are you the wage is that great cos living in Sydney is very expensive compared to UK and one of the most expensive cities to live in within Aus. Also why would it be good for your OH's CV? Most businesses in Aus are far less experienced than anything similar in UK/Europe?

As for your question - no one can really say if it's worth it or not as only you can know. It's not easy being an expat and if you're really close to your friends and family you might find it particulalry hard. On the other hand lots of us embrace our lives in Aus and wouln't move back to uk for anything.

You need to weigh up the pros and cons and work out what suits you and yours. Have a plan B in place just in case and let's face it what's the worse that can happen? You come back to UK....is that such a big deal? Yeh it costs money to move back but in a few years it's all relative and soon forgot.

Good luck with whatever you decide mate.

Sherlock Holmes

Hello Lousie and welcome to the forum.

You don't say if this is temporary or permanent. The comment about the CV suggests it may be temporary. If so, why not???

My dad's work took us all to the US from the the Uk when I was a young teen.

Whatever happens, if this is the employer wanting hubby to go you need to ensure that it costs you nothing financially.

You will have to pay school fees in NSW depending on the visa type.

The employer should pay for all of your removal costs and fights etc. Try to negotiate trips home as part of the package.

You may like it and want to stay, in which case you need to work out the best visas for you and your family. The employer should also pay for costs of medicals, visas etc.

The salary should be in dollars at least 2.4 time the present salary in pounds.

I can't comment on Sydney and life where I am may be very different. Hopefully you'll get some constructive comments on that.

Good luck and enjoy B. E.

lme30005

Hi
Thanks for the replies. It would almost certainly be a remporary move as I just can't see myself never coming back here. And there is a lot for me to give up just for a temporary move.
Husbands new job salary would be around 2.4 times his current salary and company has offered a good relocation package and possibility of paying NSW school fees so we wouldn't lose money by doing it.
He wouldn't be able to get the same type of job in this country as it is quite senior and his ex boss would be his new employer. We were not actively looking to go so the offer has come out of the blue.
It is only a decision I can make but it helps to have people pointing out things from a different perspective
Thanks
Louise

eddie007

Dont know what I would have done in your circumstances.... We made the move on a permanant visa and planned for it to be for life.... Came at it from a very different angle.....

A lot of people would give their eye teeth to be in your position.... Being able to choose.... Then again there are plenty on here who can't wait to get back to the uk....

You have to make up your own minds and talk to each other about it...

Worst case scenario? You come out here, love it... Then find you CAN'T stay forever for some reason....

Bermudashorts

A salary of 2.4 times current £ is decent but it does not mean you will be financialy better off, it will mean you are much the same, assuming you live in the south east UK at the moment that is. You don't have to be 100% certain that this is what you want to do, don't think I was anyway, however only 40% certain seems a bit low.

We have PR but I could not say that I ever really thought this was forever, we might just spend a few years living here and there and we consider that it is a good life experience. But there is just cats for me to think about, disruption to children's education might be something that you need to consider if you think you will move back and forth.

JoeBloggs80

As always in these threads - I say go for it.

Better to regret what your did than what you didn't.

Could be an amazing chapter in all of your lives. Worst case scenario is you go back home after a year or so and things will go back to how they are now.

Dorothy

Do you honestly believe that going home in a couple of years is the worst case scenario? How about she wants to go home but he doesn't? Do they separate? What happens to the kids?
How about they both want to go home but they've got no jobs and have sold the house to finance the move, so nothing to go home to? Now the're stuck in a place they hate because they have given up jobs and homes.
How about they get here, the marriage breaks down while on the 457 and the non-sponsored partner has to go home? As a spouse on a 457 if the marriage breaks down there is no automatic right for them to stay in Australia (unless they can find a job and an employer willing to sponsor them)
How about they get here and the boss is a complete dickhead who treats the guy like something he's scraped off his shoe? They're stuck with a job they hate with very little protection. Leave the job means either go home (as the visa is dependant on their employment) or find another sponsor - all within 28 days.

I've seen all of the above in my time on these boards and as an immigrant myself.

Better to be safe than sorry IMO. 40% sure is not a very good odds ratio for something as life changing as moving countries. Would you marry someone if you were only 40% sure? Or as an example of something less permanent, would you buy a house you were only 40% sure you liked?

quoll

Only 40% - nah dont do it.

We moved to Australia because it was the best opportunity at the time and, unfortunately for me, just drifted into staying there. It was good for the DH, probably not the best for my career although that didnt turn out too bad, OK for the kids but not magically better than a life in UK would have been. Ended up loathing Australia because I was trapped in it and now circumstances have seen us move back to UK for which I am most grateful.

If you can treat it as an adventure, another brilliant opportunity and you lose nothing in the process then go for it otherwise why screw up a perfectly good life where you are. If your kids are teenagers then dont muck about with their education.

stevenglish

I would say we were half and half, had no real expectations, so wouldn't have been gutted if it hadn't worked out. My advice for what it's worth, keep your house, in case it goes belly up, and go for it, you don't know how you'll like it til you do it even if you're 100% for it.

look into living costs and if all works out throw caution tyo the wind and do it!!!!

pomE

If they are agreeing to pay school fees then that's a bonus, as that will be one big chunk out of your earnings!

Yeah, sounds like you wont be much better off financially so guess it's 50-50 whether you like it here or not. It's busy, overcrowded, expensive........ I guess imagine living in a multicultural city like London but with beaches and better weather! You love it or hate it.

We've been here about nine months now and decided it's not for us. We'll either go back to Cape Town (where I worked for a few years and met my wife), or back to the UK.

Vegemite Kids

When we made the decision to move from Germany to OZ, I was 110% sure cos I'm an Aussie and I wanted to come home but (Scottish) hubby wasnt sure at all, but decided to trust me that it would be a good move.

we ended up moving to the other side of the country from where my rellies are cos of jobs availablity (we're in Perth, my rellies are in brissie, sydney and Northern NSW)

hubby has loved it from day 1 and nearly 8 years on says he cant imagine ever not being here.

But we approached it from the point of view that if he didn't like living in Perth we would move (either to the East Coast or back to Europe).

Knowing he had that "get out" clause, I think made it easier for him to settle.

having said that hubs had lived away from the UK three times previously, so that maybe made it easier for him to make the move to OZ.

And our kids are all "growed up" and making their own way in the world, so a slightly different situation from you.

My parents relocated me and my siblings a few times while we were kids and I have to say I loved the experiences of living in different places and settled really easily into new places as did my sister and brother. The problems came when it was time for dad to move on! we kids were always reluctant to leave wherever we had been but usually ended up loving wherever we went next.

I think kids pick up on parents emotions (I know we all did and generally we kids liked a place if mum and dad liked a place and were happy and didn't like it if mum & dad didn't like it. A bit simplicitic I know and I had one MAJOR exception to this general rule as did my sister but on a different place than me).

And on the kids education thingo... if your children are bright and doing well at school now they will do well here also. The move wont be that disrupting long term. Case in point , my parents moved us 5 times in total, 3 times within australia and 2 times outside australia. I have 2 University degrees, so does my sister and my brother has one university degree. We've all worked all over the world (17 countries between us) and all have "above average jobs and salaries" so I think the temporarily moving countries as children really didnt harm our education or careers. LOL

I think you just have to go for it. Every new experience helps us to grow (even if not in a way thats expected). I know what I wanted job-wise and life-wise as a child/teenager is not what I have as a mid 40 year old adult. (its soooo much better).


Good luck whatever you decide.



(oh and by the way, my dad is a minister, so funded all his moves himself as the Church couldnt afford the costs. We really were as poor as church mice but somehow or other we never went without anything we needed).

lme30005

Well I'm not sure if I'm more confused now. The easy option is not to go as I don't have to do anything then! On the one hand, I think lets go and experience something new in the sun and have a different lifestyle. Then I think about the detail, all the things I would have to do to make the move, and the hassle involved in trying to come back. I don't think I want to go enough to put up with the potential problems. But then I think of the potential opportunity we're giving up, especially as hubby is quite keen to go.
Coming back worries me more than going as getting another job here wouldn't be easy and schools round here are a nightmare to get places in. I'm not the sort of person who likes to take risks and I worry about everything!
Vegemite kids - thats good to hear about your education as thats one of the things that worries me most. I don't want them falling behind in Oz and have trouble coming back here.
Thanks for all your thoughts, more talking is needed I guess to see if we can figure something out!

Louise

Vegemite Kids

my parents, esp my mother, are very old fashioned and think "You cant be properly educated until you've been to Europe". Consequently I got shipped off to live with my UK grandmother to do my final years of high school. I was actually in the top 1% of my UK class as was my older sister when she moved and my younger brother when he moved over. Admittedly this was in the early 80's. (At that point I hated living in UK and was sooooooo homesick. Couldn't wait to get back to OZ at the end of it. It was almost all I thought about apart from at exam times when I knew I had to buckle down). I subsequently went to France as part of my 2nd degree and again was in the "top educated" section.

From what I've heard about education in UK / Europe / Australia based on friends with young children living in all places, its not changed drastically in the last 25 years. Bright intelligent children with bright intelligent parents will do well no matter where they are.

I think your children will be fine with the move education-wise. Personality-wise might be different issue depending how independant they are.