podgypossum

I was discussing this subject online with someone earlier this eveninig.
It got me thinking. I can imagine that my euphoria and happiness in my new country could be very irritating and soul destroying to those of you who are suffering from it.
The only reason i am in my current mind set is because i have already gone through the depressing, heartwrenching evil that is homesickness, back in New Zealand before coming here.

In my mind it is a very similar feeling to losing a close family member. In a sense you are. You are losing your history. Nothing around you is familiar anymore, and theres no one to run to when things go wrong, which is very scarey at times. Some days you will feel so overwhelmed you just wanna grab the first flight home.

There is also the guilt complex too. The feeling you have abandoned everyone.

I just wanted to say that as the days go by, it DOES get easier, and if you stick with it long and hard, and make the effort to carve a new familiarity around you, one morning you will wake up and see things in a whole new light. For me it took well over a year!!! Its a slow process.

So..if theres anyone out there suffering, please be aware theres someone here who knows how you feel and i am happy to lend an ear. No lectures, no "pull your self together" quips...just an ear...

Nicki

Sandra

PP - you have got it spot on, but this does not be the site to actually state it. My homesickness nearly had me back on a plane the first 8 months here were hell on earth. I am now here 22 months and getting used to the awful gut wrenching that still happens every now and again.

What I love most of all - every now and again is having a full on bitch session about Aus.....it helps. Makes me feel better. Majority of time I can see why we came and why we are enjoying ourselves ....but that feeling of being home ....ahh....I have lovely lovely rose tinted glasses about the UK. (not england I must state, hated that place cause I am Belfast born and bred)

My sister did not speak to me for the first year I was here, which did not help, last year she started planing a long holiday for Christmas 04 - today she said she would consider emigrating to be near me. I am in Heaven, icing on the cake for me. Not that we have a lot of chance of getting her in but that will not stop me trying.

Anyway back to the point PP - hold out that hand to those that need it, and there are many that do, I was one and still am.

Best of

MrsTurbo

you've hit the nail bang on the head PP

podgypossum

If you need a whinge just PM me...

I do think though that this site IS the place to talk about it. I am always ribbed and laughed at for my positive nature. It doesnt mean i have no idea what its like to be miserable and depressed...geeezzz...been there big time and got the T shirt!! I dont like the thought of people being out there thinking all is hopeless and things wont change. It does, and i am proof of it.

I only left UK in the first place because i married a kiwi...i never had any yearnings to leave!!...but now i am glad i did.

I think my problem is i am not very articulate and my posts come across wrongly.

Sandra

Totally understand where you are coming from - but still do not think this is the site to state you hate the bloody place - understanding totally it is coming from homesickness. Sometimes even now I read on here, especially the going back threads, just to realise I never hated the UK, never moved to Aus cause I thought it would be better, but if I dared to say I think the place is crap at times I would be shouted down. For me it is crap cause that is what I feel. Majority of time I work on and love what I am doing, would in any country, but that overwhelming homesickness is like a disability and you cannot see past it. I have found friends from this site and really really appreciate them. Mrs Blue Robot, and the hubby of course! H Garret and HUP are the best!

I understand people have to play up where they are going and what they are doing to justify - equally I can slag off Aus because of my feelings the other way.

....when oh when are they going to get a pill to get over homesickness........I would pay through the nose for it.

Thanks PP for listening

Rossi

ooooooo!!
I hope it's the rich one with no offspring

jeannie

What a nice post.... that is the sort of help people need good on you........

nosuchluck

Hear hear, nice post podgypossum, will save this into my docs and look at it when/if i need to,
thanks for sharing your thoughts
hugs
rach x

steandleigh

good one pp,

perhaps you can become a residant expats agony aunt!

Very kind of an "oldie" to help and share their experiences with us "newies".

karen and andy

What a lovely thread, i totally understand the losing of a family member homesickness feeling.

My brother Travelled to Thailand Yesterday for 1 month, then Oz for 3 months then back to Thailand for 1 month. We are very close so the feeling of him not being near is hard.
But this is a good thing because i can now relate to how our parents are going to feel when we emmigrate.

PP I think your posts are great and articulate and fun you come over loud and clear, its other peoples fault if they don't understand, some people need to lighten up a bit.

Cheers

Karen

xpat19

you are so right and I wish I"d realised other people went through these feelings when I felt down. I think I spent the first 3 months in tears even though I was the one who originally wanted to move here and didn't expect to miss any one, I would have been on that plane back to to the UK like a shot if any one had offered me a ticket, however, as every on says, it does fade in time. It's just that, I don't think you expect it to hit you as hard as it does - so it's good for new immigrants to be told that others have been through it, and we understand !what it's like

Pollyana

Lovely post PP; you are such an understanding person.

Homesickness is a very odd thing, I don't get much of it but every so often a song or getting a letter, or something on TV will put me miles away.
I think we should talk about it on here, cos people who aren't here yet want to know what life in Oz is like - so they have to know that they WILL miss their original home; they WILL feel lost and alone at times. Hopefully it will only be in short bursts, and will get easier with time, but if you come here expecting to have no feelings of homesickness at all, then you may be in for a shock.

Sandra, I love that - I do the same; I adore Oz, I'd never want to go back to the UK, but every so often I let off steam yelling about the inefficiency of something, or the awful waysomething works here, or the appalling price of bread! The Bloke doesn't understand, he thinks I'm whinging, but it actually makes me feel better.

bondipom

Constructive letting off steam on here can be very therapeutic and this is the place for it. Bad service experiences happen here and both the residents and wannabes want to hear about it so we can avoid it.

Chronic homesickness and unemployment does lead to a tendency to whinge excessively if not dealt with and recognised.

Bix

Spot on, and I'm sure the reason most wannabes keep coming back.
We want to hear the good and the bad. Not only to help in our decision making but hopefully to soften the blow of what we face after arrival.
Please continue sharing your experiences.

steandleigh

Ditto to the above.

Any self respecting migrant should want to hear the good and bad - theres no use in sticking your head in the sand and hoping that it's going to be paradise, 'cos it ain't.

I enjoy the bad threads as much as the good, as it gives me the chance to evaluate and make up my own mind.