Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Hi Everyone..... desperate wife looking for a little help/reassurance here.... my husband is a paramedic and we fianally managed to get out to Brisbane at the end of Jan 2008.... after a long gruelling visa process and six months of living with the in laws (bless em) ... first couple of weeks were like a holiday.... then came the looking for a house ... getting the kids into school etc which i gladly took over as my husband started work with the QAS... and thats when sadly it all went downhill..... the service here is obviously run completely differently to the UK (thats an understatement!!!) and he's having a really hard time getting to grips with everything.... he's totally homesick and talks about going back every day.... i've managed to pursuede him to give it some time as we have given alot up to come ever here..... anyone else either going through or been through this????? any advice would be a god send... cheers ;)

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Everthing is different over here it feels like you needa certificate to take a pee at times .It does get better.You are now in the position where the holiday period has gone and you have suddenly realised that this is where you have chosen to spend the rest of your lives and it seems a long way from home.Change is frustrating but tell him to be light hearted about it when he is told to do something in a way he wouldnt just think ok no worries you stupid prick. works for me
Good luck dont give up yet remember why you came here in the first place because all the reasons u left will still be there if u go home
Raven

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Health service is in a bit of mess isnt it:blink:

But give it more time, yep holidays over, works work anywhere but it may grow on him, probably just the initial shock when you come down from the (sometimes overly) high expectations, holiday mode bit.

Plan some weekend trips etc to break up the day to day, campings cheap enough. Go and do turtles, whales etc, seen weekends like that lift potential returnees right up:)

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Ha ha ..... i know what you mean ... feels like we're on another planet here.... and i've gotta admit i feel like ripping the next persons head who tells me its TO EASY!!!! :p... i mean what's that all about huh???... he'll be ok i think.... took us 37 years to get used to life in the U.K and you know what they say .... Rome wasn't built in a day... Cheers:)

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Homesickness is a horrible demon and I suffer with it terribly. I am a nurse and my job is quite different here too and can relate to how he feels and I would go home today if I could sort out my 15yr olds education back home.

There is no easy answer to it but have a look on the moving back to the uk forum and do an advanced search on there as has lots of useful info on it. Please listen to him, for some it gets better for others it doesnt and it doesnt matter how much preparation you do prior to coming here. For some of us its like an overwhelming sense of loss/grief for our lost life/status/knowledge and so many more things.
My heart goes out to you both.:(
My hubby likes it here

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Hi Tillysmum..... thanks for your support.... I was an Auxiliary Nurse back in the UK worked in the hospital for 12 years and i loved it.... I was gutted when i received my final wage slip... my hubbys job is open for 5 years so that is a bonus.... i came out here thinking that i could do the same thing ... but nooooo..... you need qualifications to open a tin of beans here lol!!! I went to night school and got extra qualifications in the UK as well as on job ones ... but apparently i have to pay to find out what the eqivalent is in Oz.... which to be quite honest got me down alot..... so i applied to work for the QAS on comms and have passed the interview and am now waiting to start.... very slow process.... (not used to being at home so much).... so i can totally empathise with all who are homesick ... but the way i see it is ... give it a little more time and see how it goes ....:)

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

I've got a friend who's a paramedic out of one of the Brissie stations. She is very home/peoplesick. Apart from friends and family she finds that the way the QAS works, after being used to the UK system (with all their faults) is so hard to deal with that the feeling of being in the wrong place is made worse. One of her old colleagues in the UK who is also doing the job over here has also had major homesickness and in fact has either just gone back or is waiting on the house to sell.

It's tough, especially after the hard sell QAS gave the UK people.

Hope it gets better for him.

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

My advice is hang in there. This passes eventually, and is just a normal reaction to an unfamiliar environment.

I felt the way your husband did, and I hve been here 5 years now. I'm not sure I could live in England again now, because I know I have changed as a result of living here.

It's hard to live with, but perhaps he should get on here and talk to some of us. He's not in a club of one, and perhaps he would feel better chatting to someone who has been through the darkness, as it were!;)

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

I have my own little theory on this. I'm sure its not right, but I do think it plays a part. It'll be interesting to see if any one here agree with me.

The majority of migrants spend a long time thinking about immigrating, then having made the decision to do so have an agonizing time getting visa's etc. Then there is the move itself, then the excitement of arriving. For maybe up to years (or more) there is this huge adrenalin rush and excitment, fear etc at doing this move. When first arrived this excitement continues as, after all, its what we've wanted.

Then real life kicks in, going to work, paying bills etc etc. It all somehow seems so "normal". Yes its beautiful and all that but you know what I mean. I often think people choose to live here because of whats in UK as opposed to whats here and while this is very valid, sometimes whats here isnt what we have percieved on visits etc.

Anyway I think this can be confused with homesickness. And of course it doesnt affect everyone.

Just my thoughts and of course if this is true, it will pass.

Re: Homesick Hubby!!!!
 

Hang in there.
It's a shock when you start work and it is vastly different from what you did in the UK - even though it's the same profession. Not sure what the level of practice is here in QLD for paramedics, but I know colleagues in the UK worked very autonomously and to a very high skill level. Does hubby feel restricted in his role or just overwhelmed at all the beauracrasy?
I'm a registered nurse and I am just not happy with it here. Would not go back to the UK as all other aspects of life here are great - my nursing job in the UK is the only thing I would say I miss. I feel very deskilled here - am just in the process of thinking what other work I might try that is not nursing.
Hope things settle for you both.