Alfresco

We moved to the UK from South Africa and I hated it and wanted to move back the SA but my wife didn't. We did move back and bought a house etc... We then moved back the UK in 2001 and stayed for almost 10 years. It wasn't as bad the second time around and I quite enjoyed it apart from the weather. I got my head around it.

We then got visas for Oz and are here now and loving it. I won't move countries again I don't think.

All home sickness has worn off completely.

si.young

Glad you are feeling quite settled now. I am missing family support as much as anything, especially since having the little one. I am not working at the moment as I had to give up work with the little being hospitalised twice from sickness picked up from daycare. He ended up with a hypoglycemic seizure following the nuro virus, croup, ear infection etc. We had to sell our house to fund it and are now renting. (Whinging pom, I know )

Alfresco

Wow. So sorry to hear that. Yeah, each of us is different and has different circumstances. It's hard to decide sometimes what to do and where to live for whatever reasons. I hope you make the right one in the end so that you are all happy and healthy.

si.young

Thanks

quoll

Best cure for situational depression (homesickness, alienation or sheer "not belonging") = move to where you do feel you belong.

If you have to be stuck in a place that you don't feel you belong then, sure, ACT works for some people, CBT works for others. For me the most powerful piece of information to be assimilated was that it is quite OK not to like living in Australia and I didn't have to keep bashing my head against the brick wall of trying to like it because all that did was to give me a bloody great headache!

I can vouch wholeheartedly for moving towards belonging!

bluekipper

I agree Quoll, life is way too short to force yourself to `love` living somewhere you know you deep down dont like. However the process to getting to a place of acceptance is a real joy in and of itself because then you can decide to stay or return without fear or resistance. I still have moments when I feel a little unsettled or down but not so much homesickness just a feeling of wonder of what family are doing or when they are having a get together and I`m obviously not there, but if I can go through not being there for my own dads funeral i am sure I will manage not being there for a birthday or something!

just do what makes you happy

jayjacobrobyn

Hi Blue Kipper.
I thought it was just me!!! here i was, managed to get PR and went to live to Hobart and joined my daughter who had moved a couple of years previous. I took my son and youngest daughter to live there too. My youngest was very homesick and we both travelled back to the UK.
At the moment my daughter lives in Hobart and my son in Melbourne. My daughter now wants to go back to Australia with her boyfriend and I have now got a return visa.
I really need to get involved with differnt interests/clubs so that the loneliness doesnt set in. I need some strategies to deal with homesickness!!
Hope you can help. If I dont go my children will be in Australia and I will be in the UK .Such a dilemma

bluekipper

No it definatley aint just you I can promise you that! it must be so hard being away from your kids, but if you want to overcome/deal with homesickness it takes a lot of inner work, no one can make you feel better, you can be in a room full of peopkle all having fun and still feel sad, lonely and homesick. No one prepares you for any of this when you emigrate, I used a number of tools to overcome my deep sense of loss of home

1. Allow the feeling/emotion to grow, saying yes to it helps this, dont be scared. You will start to notice that once the feeling has grown as strong as it can (because your allowing it to be) it then flows away from you. This is a very powerful tool for any emotion, feeling you want to release. Now when you get the feeling again probably the next day even, which is what happened to me, I noticed it wasnt as strong the next time and each time I did the process it became weaker and weaker until it went for good.

2. Surrender, similar to above but allowing the feeling to be what it is, not doing anything with it, sort of silently watching, observing, this strategy takes away the energy of trying your hardest to change it, I used to say to myself `ok, it is what it is, I feel like that now but feelings change all the time`, which they do. You know we are either our own best friend or worst enemy, be gentle on yourself.

Good Luck, let me know if I can help any more