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Here's one for Slipper!

Here's one for Slipper!

Old May 15th 2003, 9:31 am
  #1  
Don
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Default Here's one for Slipper!

Not that you're PC or anything, Slipper old chum!

You know you're PC if…

you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling

you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)

you think only white people can be racist

you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate

your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives

you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones

you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population

you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner

you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems

you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist

your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide

you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns

you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist

you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure

you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life

you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation

Cheers - Don

Last edited by The Don; May 15th 2003 at 9:37 am.
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Old May 17th 2003, 6:59 pm
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Whoop! Couldn't resist posting another one for Slipper though apparently he may never read it as he's gone to pastures new.

Politically Correct Terms

He does not have a BEER GUT
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a SEX MACHINE
He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES
He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

She is not HALF NAKED
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELLERY
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

She is not CONCEITED
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE

Cheers - Don
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Old May 17th 2003, 7:38 pm
  #3  
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Yeah that second lot were far better than the first.

Very amuzing
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Old May 18th 2003, 7:05 am
  #4  
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Default Re: Here's one for Slipper!

Originally posted by pleasancefamily
Not that you're PC or anything, Slipper old chum!

You know you're PC if…

you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling

you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)

you think only white people can be racist

you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate

your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives

you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones

you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population

you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner

you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems

you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist

your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide

you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns

you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist

you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure

you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life

you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation

Cheers - Don
Slipper sounds like just another PhD student who can't adapt to the real world....
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Old May 18th 2003, 6:20 pm
  #5  
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Slipper - since you're still there (turn the light out when you go, dear!) here are a couple more (that take us all back to your PhD days plebbing it in the JCR - tally ho!):

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

Cheers - Don
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Old May 19th 2003, 1:10 am
  #6  
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Originally posted by pleasancefamily
Slipper - since you're still there (turn the light out when you go, dear!) here are a couple more (that take us all back to your PhD days plebbing it in the JCR - tally ho!):

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

Cheers - Don
thanks for the chuckle Don
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