Here's one for Slipper!
#1
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,613
Here's one for Slipper!
Not that you're PC or anything, Slipper old chum!
You know you're PC if…
you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling
you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)
you think only white people can be racist
you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate
your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives
you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones
you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population
you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner
you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems
you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist
your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide
you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns
you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist
you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure
you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life
you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation
Cheers - Don
You know you're PC if…
you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling
you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)
you think only white people can be racist
you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate
your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives
you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones
you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population
you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner
you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems
you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist
your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide
you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns
you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist
you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure
you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life
you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation
Cheers - Don
Last edited by The Don; May 15th 2003 at 9:37 am.
#2
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,613
Whoop! Couldn't resist posting another one for Slipper though apparently he may never read it as he's gone to pastures new.
Politically Correct Terms
He does not have a BEER GUT
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a SEX MACHINE
He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES
He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
She is not HALF NAKED
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELLERY
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE
Cheers - Don
Politically Correct Terms
He does not have a BEER GUT
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a SEX MACHINE
He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
He has SWINE EMPATHY.
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES
He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
She is not HALF NAKED
She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELLERY
She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED
She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE
Cheers - Don
#4
Just Joined
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1
Re: Here's one for Slipper!
Originally posted by pleasancefamily
Not that you're PC or anything, Slipper old chum!
You know you're PC if…
you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling
you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)
you think only white people can be racist
you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate
your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives
you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones
you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population
you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner
you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems
you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist
your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide
you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns
you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist
you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure
you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life
you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation
Cheers - Don
Not that you're PC or anything, Slipper old chum!
You know you're PC if…
you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counselling
you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest the criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism (in which case they are automatically guilty)
you think only white people can be racist
you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 50% of their income in taxation is being compassionate
your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives
you think that people need to be punished for good choices and rewarded for bad ones
you think that Hamas and Hizbollah don't mean what they say about destroying Israel and exterminating its population
you don't think that Tony Martin is a political prisoner
you think that affirmative action is the only way to solve racial problems
you think that pouring blood on a £1,000 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but that anyone protesting outside an abortion clinic is an extremist
your definition of freedom fighters includes people whose aims are genocide
you make snide remarks to men for looking at women but championed Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns
you see cartoons condemning religions and making fun of Christianity as funny and an expression of free speech, but saying the same thing about other religions is racist
you wear a red ribbon to show your support for a cure for AIDS but oppose all animal experimentation needed to find that cure
you consider bishops noble and idealistic when they oppose capital punishment and social security cuts but dangerous fanatics trying to legislate their theology when they defend the right to life
you attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation
Cheers - Don
#5
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,613
Slipper - since you're still there (turn the light out when you go, dear!) here are a couple more (that take us all back to your PhD days plebbing it in the JCR - tally ho!):
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
Cheers - Don
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
Cheers - Don
#6
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2003
Location: Auckland
Posts: 39
Originally posted by pleasancefamily
Slipper - since you're still there (turn the light out when you go, dear!) here are a couple more (that take us all back to your PhD days plebbing it in the JCR - tally ho!):
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
Cheers - Don
Slipper - since you're still there (turn the light out when you go, dear!) here are a couple more (that take us all back to your PhD days plebbing it in the JCR - tally ho!):
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED FEMALE.
She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not TURN YOU ON - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
Cheers - Don