HELP! What to do??? Am so confused.
#31
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
Aside from the fact you've already asked this before. Let's be honest you didn't really emigrate the first time round. 1 month is not really migration. Its a holiday.
The first few months are the "honeymoon" period for many. If you jacked it in then, what's so different in Queensland that couldn't do in Adelaide. Whilst you may have had a bad experience with friends, what stopped you from leaving them and just getting on with it.
What ever you decide, good luck to you. But if your going to do it, make it work and take the attitude of not going back and working through the initial problems, and there will be some - there is for everyone.
The first few months are the "honeymoon" period for many. If you jacked it in then, what's so different in Queensland that couldn't do in Adelaide. Whilst you may have had a bad experience with friends, what stopped you from leaving them and just getting on with it.
What ever you decide, good luck to you. But if your going to do it, make it work and take the attitude of not going back and working through the initial problems, and there will be some - there is for everyone.
#32
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
Why not just go on your own? Your hubby sounds like a dead-weight I'm sorry to say . . . Plenty more fish in the sea.
#33
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Do i move teenager to OZ or not??
Hi
thinking of returning to OZ and have 3 children aged 3, 12 and 14. But my 14 year old daughter isnt keen.
Also i have the worry of moving whilst she is doing her last 2 years in high school.
Has anyone had any similar experiences and do teenages tend to adapt easily or am i just fighting a losing battle???
thinking of returning to OZ and have 3 children aged 3, 12 and 14. But my 14 year old daughter isnt keen.
Also i have the worry of moving whilst she is doing her last 2 years in high school.
Has anyone had any similar experiences and do teenages tend to adapt easily or am i just fighting a losing battle???
Draw a line under it and start by talking to your husband, if he doesnt want to go, if your kids dont want to go then your team is divided. Australia is just a country, it may be unfinished business to you but to your family it is finished and they perhaps want to enjoy the life they have where they have it now.
Imagine if you persuaded them to move back and you felt so desperately homesick and wanted to come back and they didnt, say your teenager was happy and didnt want to come back with you? Noone on here can give you the answer that you want, your husband can tell you what he wants and so can your teenager but to be honest, if they are not on your side then you stand alone and that is a very lonely situation to be in.
Talk about it once and for all, better that than to chip away at them to get what you want.
If they say no, perhaps accept it - then start to look at the life you have now, what you have now and who in your life is important and start to build on it, to make it better. Australia is hardly going to be a better place for your family if your husband doesnt want to go back.
Your health, your children, your husband, a job, a roof over your head - the rest can be worked on. Only you can make you happy within and if you cant find that in the UK, you sure as hell are not going to find it in another country.
Last edited by Cheetah7; Mar 11th 2011 at 3:49 am.
#34
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: Do i move teenager to OZ or not??
To be honest I think you are going to get a better response if you stick to one thread, yes it may go off topic like most threads do but you wont get any better advice by starting lots of threads, in fact people may start to shut off.
The bottome line is what happened in the past is done and dusted, you cannot move forward while you are continuing to carry this emotional baggage and resentment for what happened to you first time round.
Draw a line under it and start by talking to your husband, if he doesnt want to go, if your kids dont want to go then your team is divided.
Australia is just a country, it may be unfinished business to you but to your family it is finished and they perhaps want to enjoy the life they have where they have it now.
Imagine if you persuaded them to move back and you felt so desperately homesick and wanted to come back and they didnt, say your teenager was happy and didnt want to come back with you?
Noone on here can give you the answer that you want, your husband can tell you what he wants and so can your teenager but to be honest, if they are not on your side then you stand alone and that is a very lonely situation to be in.
Talk about it once and for all, better that than to chip away at them to get what you want.
If they say no, perhaps accept it - then start to look at the life you have now, what you have now and who in your life is important and start to build on it, to make it better.
Australia is hardly going to be a better place for your family if your husband doesnt want to go back.
Your health, your children, your husband, a job, a roof over your head - the rest can be worked on. Only you can make you happy within and if you cant find that in the UK, you sure as hell are not going to find it in another country.
The bottome line is what happened in the past is done and dusted, you cannot move forward while you are continuing to carry this emotional baggage and resentment for what happened to you first time round.
Draw a line under it and start by talking to your husband, if he doesnt want to go, if your kids dont want to go then your team is divided.
Australia is just a country, it may be unfinished business to you but to your family it is finished and they perhaps want to enjoy the life they have where they have it now.
Imagine if you persuaded them to move back and you felt so desperately homesick and wanted to come back and they didnt, say your teenager was happy and didnt want to come back with you?
Noone on here can give you the answer that you want, your husband can tell you what he wants and so can your teenager but to be honest, if they are not on your side then you stand alone and that is a very lonely situation to be in.
Talk about it once and for all, better that than to chip away at them to get what you want.
If they say no, perhaps accept it - then start to look at the life you have now, what you have now and who in your life is important and start to build on it, to make it better.
Australia is hardly going to be a better place for your family if your husband doesnt want to go back.
Your health, your children, your husband, a job, a roof over your head - the rest can be worked on. Only you can make you happy within and if you cant find that in the UK, you sure as hell are not going to find it in another country.
#35
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
Yes you are. By reading your other threads it seems you are the only one who wants to go.
As my very wise mother would say..."Shit or get off the pot"
As my very wise mother would say..."Shit or get off the pot"
#37
Account Closed
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 0
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
Yes, you should try again because it's bugging you, and if you don't you will go to your grave wondering what could have been.
You are suffering from once bitten, twice shy. Unfortunately, no matter what any of us say you will not know unless you come here and you roll the dice.
There's a risk it won't work out but on the bright-side, you will know that you gave it a go and have inner-peace.
If it does work out we can rib you about your posts.
#38
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 6,600
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
I'm giggling at some of the comments but
Yes, you should try again because it's bugging you, and if you don't you will go to your grave wondering what could have been.
You are suffering from once bitten, twice shy. Unfortunately, no matter what any of us say you will not know unless you come here and you roll the dice.
There's a risk it won't work out but on the bright-side, you will know that you gave it a go and have inner-peace.
If it does work out we can rib you about your posts.
Yes, you should try again because it's bugging you, and if you don't you will go to your grave wondering what could have been.
You are suffering from once bitten, twice shy. Unfortunately, no matter what any of us say you will not know unless you come here and you roll the dice.
There's a risk it won't work out but on the bright-side, you will know that you gave it a go and have inner-peace.
If it does work out we can rib you about your posts.
Last edited by spartacus; Mar 11th 2011 at 4:24 am.
#39
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 5,768
Re: Do i move teenager to OZ or not??
Schools are backward here (in **MY** exp anyway) so they'll be almost going back a year or so if you go for the year they 'should' be in.
My daughter walked from school in grade 11 as it was the thing to do! All her mates were leaving for TAFE courses or to get jobs, but the school didn't give a shite for her future if you ask me. She recently did an 'at home' course over 3 months to get her into the double degree she wants to do. HAD to get 85%+ on 2 tests and got 90%+ on both so will be sourcing her Uni any time now.
Son dropped out of grade 11 too, for the same reasons, but with a move to new area he's now back at school doing grade 12 as we speak and wants to do an Architect degree, but will be needing an OP of 4 or above to get a place. Tall order, but he's got his head down and doin well so good luck to him I say ...
Both settled very well / easy so wouldn't worry. I still laugh about when his mate would knock the door and ask for 'English' ...
#40
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
I'm giggling at some of the comments but
Yes, you should try again because it's bugging you, and if you don't you will go to your grave wondering what could have been.
You are suffering from once bitten, twice shy. Unfortunately, no matter what any of us say you will not know unless you come here and you roll the dice.
There's a risk it won't work out but on the bright-side, you will know that you gave it a go and have inner-peace.
If it does work out we can rib you about your posts.
Yes, you should try again because it's bugging you, and if you don't you will go to your grave wondering what could have been.
You are suffering from once bitten, twice shy. Unfortunately, no matter what any of us say you will not know unless you come here and you roll the dice.
There's a risk it won't work out but on the bright-side, you will know that you gave it a go and have inner-peace.
If it does work out we can rib you about your posts.
#42
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 2,838
Re: AM I BEING SELFISH FOR WANTING TO TRY OZ AGAIN 2ND TIME ROUND??
#44
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Sydney
Posts: 924
Re: Do i move teenager to OZ or not??
Only you can answer that question really - looks like you've been here before? For what it's worth my eldest turned 14 just after we arrived and it has been the best thing that ever happened to him. His school here is SO much better than his school in a good area in England - everyone has a different opinion on that one I know, but schools vary here like everywhere. I am always puzzled by people's assurances that English schools are better - ok, I'm not English but my kids all went to school there and compared to where I come from I thought they were pretty crap. Anyway, I digress. My son has had so many more opportunities here , both in school and outside, and I like the fact that now, aged 17, his life doesn't revolve around trying to get into pubs because it's too bloody cold outside to do anything else. If you can swing it with school years so your daughter can do the last two years here (HSC in NSW, don't know about elsewhere) she will be in a school situation where it's easier to make friends. If she is adamant she doesn't want to come though I guess you will have to find a workable solution for your family. Good luck.