maxineb

Hi everyone, we've been here for nearly 4 months and up till now have absolutely loved it. We haven't once thought about moving back to the uk and were amazed at how well we'd managed the move. But my mum has just visited for 4 weeks and her going home has triggered major homesickness. Even though I still love it here, I can't stop crying, in fact writing this has made me cry, I feel sick all of the time and am fighting really hard to get through each day. I feel desperately lonely, we haven't made any friends yet and I haven't yet got a job to keep me occupied. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "wingeing" about being here cos I love the country and the people and I know if I can just get through this our lives will be better than they could ever have been in England, but I need help to get through this difficult part. Its come as a bit of a shock cos I was feeling fine but now its hit me like a sledgehammer and I don't know how to get through it. Does anyone know how long it will last? Any tips to get through and start enjoying my new life again?

mlbonner

Hi there,

I have been here 4 months and 2 days now, despite having been here previously for a year its definately different when you know this is now your 'home'. I am happier now than I have been in the previous 4 months, but also probably in some ways sadder. Sounds like an oxymoron I know, but while my job is going well & I'm making more friends and starting my life here, the guilt of being able to get on with these things so readily while my family and friends are back in the UK worsen's with it.
There is no magic cure unfortunately, but it sounds like you're giving it your best shot and thats all you can do. Have you considered joining a club or anything? I've started diving, touch footy, body combat and a running club since I've been here.... never had such an active social life For me, keeping busy is the key. Who are you here with? Perhaps you could go out together and meet some new friends, either doing something you already know you like or trying something completely new. Are there any Expat meets in your area you could go to, or perhaps you could organise one yourself?

I have a holiday planned in Feb with my partner (to LA), something to really look forward to. I'm not ready to go back to the UK yet, so visiting friends and doing some travel in another country seemed like a good idea!

Are you looking for a job at all? Even if you're not wanting to work, perhaps a day a week doing some volunteer work etc will just help you meet people and feel a bit more at home? My best friend came and visited me after I'd been here 6 weeks, after she left I was really upset as well. No new visits to look forward to etc, since then I've booked my hols & my brother is looking to come out next May to see me.... bit like a rollercoaster ride isn't it!

Good luck - you're not the only one who feels like this sometimes & with the attitude you have towards being here I'm sure it'll pass

maxineb

Hi,
thanks for your reply. I'm here with my husband and 3 kids. We've joined the local club and have been a couple of times. None of our neighbours are very talkative and after coming from a very small close knit community this takes some getting used to! My husband has joined a soccer team so he goes out with them once a week but they are mostly older than him so he doesn't think they will be close friends. We've got some people coming out to visit next year so thats something to look forward to and my mum wants to come and live with us as soon as we've been here for 2 years. I'm looking for a job at the moment but I've just finished a degree in the UK and find myself stuck between being a graduate (employers want young go getting graduates) and a mum of 3 (I've applied for non graduate jobs and been told I'm overqualified!) so I can't seem to win! Once I get a job and I'm not home alone thinking to myself I'm sure I'll feel better. Thanks for your help.

mlbonner

I found myself in the same predicament with jobs. Graduated in 2002, but because I spent a year here and 6 months either side of that in the UK, no real work to back up my under & post graduate qualifications. What is it you do? I found for my line of work an agency was actually the best way to go.

wombatboy

WOW a whole 4 months.

jad n rich

Hell time gets away, Ive been here 4 years not 4 months and so depressed today I decided to call in sick thought a wander round the shops would cheer me up. All it did was remind me how totally un christmassy it is here
A few sad little decorations and walking the short walk from the car to the shops a burning sweaty reminder summer is on its intense way.

I WANNA GO HOME sorry wombat but this place sucks at christmas, and I want my family and I want christmas atmosphere and I want to feel comfortably cool.

So if santa (or Rich) is reading a one way ticket would be nice. Thank you

rudo1ph

Hi Maxine

A few of us are meeting up on Thursday in Dural - PLEASE come and join us, we'd love to meet you - with or without the children. I think most of us will have kiddies with us, but (hopefully!!) they will play in the playground so us mums can have a good old chinwag.

Please don't think this will be a group of people who know each other really well and that you will feel left out.........we only met last week, but got on well so are getting together again.

Send me a PM with your number and I'll give you a call.

PLEASE COME!!!

Take care

Rudi
x

PS Ignore the people with nasty sarcastic comments.

wombat42

If you feel sick and crying all the time then obviously your not happy down here
so the best solution is to go home.

rudo1ph

You are so nasty - leave her alone.

I wish there was a button for "anti-karma"

wombat42

Go home, a one way ticket to the Uk does'nt cost much or maybe you could commit some crime and get deported if you want a free trip home.

Quinkana

Transportation will fix you up. Steal a loaf of bread - few years of no work and free meals in detention in Womera before your conviction comes through will pass quickly enough.

joh117

Maxine

You poor thing. I was in your shoes back in May this year. We arrived in Feb and all I remember doing is crying, At work, at home and could not pin point why other than I missed my family and friends.

How did I get over it? I am not sure really and has it gone for good who knows. We have a good circle of friends who we have met through the local footy and cricket clubs so our weekends are pretty busy with that. I am also pregnant now so am not feeling up for huge nights anymore.

On the job front I am over qualified for the job I do and I hate it. I am treated like the person to do printing and photocopying but I guess at least I have got a job but it frustrates me that I don't use my brain and I have a degree.

The homesickness lasted about a month with me. I still miss the UK but not to where I am crying.

Are there meets in the area where you live? There was one in Melbourne not that long ago we couldn't go as hubby plays cricket but that would be a way of meeting the people who frequent the site and make close friends.

If there isn't one you could perhaps organise one and fill some time in while you wait to get work

Anyway hope you start feeling better soon

Jo

Pollyana

Hi Maxine,

Stick with it, it'll get easier. Are you going to go along to Rudi's meet? Thats what I find is best, meeting up with people to give you someone to compare notes with, chat with, laugh with etc. Pity you're not up here, you could join us for drinks.

I can identify with how you feel only too well, the first few months were hell. I'm finding it a bit easier now; I've been here just over a year, and I think I found it tougher cos I'm living with an Aussie who already has a life here, whereas I am having to start from scratch. At least you have your family with you, so between you, you'll get through it.
I've heard from other people who had relatives to visit, that it really hits hard when they leave.

A job will help, so good luck with the search, and as was suggested earlier, you could try volunteer work perhaps in the meantime?

Good luck and keep smiling

Polly

maxineb

thanks to those who put supportive replies to my messages. It helps to know that other people have got through it. As for Wombat, if you have nothing better to do than sit at a computer waiting to ambush people who are unhappy and rejoice in making them feel even more unhappy, then you obviously aren't making the best of what your beautiful country has to offer. We have given up everything to settle in this country (a country which, so far, we consider to be a much better place to live than the UK) so at least have enough compassion to allow us to feel a little sad for the family we have left behind. I make no apologies for possessing enough feelings to mourn for what we have left and it is no reflection whatsoever on Australia as a country. Your snide comments do not help to show Australia what we have found it to be which is a friendly, welcoming country. Believe me, you are not a good ambassador for the country you are supposed to admire.

Celtic_Angel

[QUOTE=maxineb Does anyone know how long it will last? Any tips to get through and start enjoying my new life again?[/QUOTE]
err sorry to be a downer ...i'm sure you've recieved many posts of "i'm there too" and"you'll get through it" but well I've been away for a decade, was never the family sort , never thought i'd ever be homesick..and well for my hometown I'm not, but i still feel desperatley homesick for my friends , it doesn't go away hon...not for real,,,you just learn to get on with life but then one day you wake up and "boom" it hits you like a ton of bricks!!!

no matter how good or successful your life becomes you'll always, always have sudden bouts of homesickness...how you deal with it is your choice..................
eventually i want to move back...i weep for all the time i've lost with friends and family, yeah i have new friends but none of those are the ones i truely love....i've missed weddings funerals christenings etc ...it's tough....i'm sure you must have considered all this before you moved .....

like i said i'm not trying to be a downer....make the most of your experience away...you must of had a good reason to move there in the first place.....get on with life ,heck enjoy yourself...but don't let anybody fool you into believing homesickness goes away...cos for me anyway...it doesn't