meljor

I dont know what to do or say, were just waiting for our visa, its been a year since we decided as a family to move to melbourne and our two sons aged 9 and 11 keep saying that they dont want to go anymore and that we're being really selfish. I cant seem to make them see that they will have just as good a life in Oz as they do over here, not that I know having never been. So has anyone got any advice or had the same from their kids, we wont give up cos weve invested too much time, effort and money to say ok kids lets stay in blighty, but dont want to drag them kicking and screaming to Melbourne. Melx

JayDeee

my sis and I moved schools when we were 11 (me) and 9 (her) and thought our parents were really evil for making us do it. I know I was cured within 10 minutes of arriving at new school to find a really good looking boy in my class.

Kids are fickle little buggers and they will get over it so quick it is untrue.

Juliecabs

Hi Mel,
I'm sorry but I don't really have any advice for you. I worry about the same thing though. I've got 3 teenagers (13, 15 and 16). Before we went over to Brisbane for a holiday last summer, the two youngest were happy to go for a holiday but were determined they didn't want to live there. The day after arriving, they saw how beautiful it was and promptly changed their minds! They haven't stopped talking about it since. But everyday week that goes past I ask them if they all still want to go and they look at me as if I'm stupid. My eldest has a boyfriend now but still desperately wants to go, even though she's very keen on him. They are looking forward to making new friends and spending more time on the beaches etc.
Have you been over before? If not, then maybe your kids will change their minds once they are there and the initial shock of leaving their old lives behind has settled a bit. Kids can be very resilient when they need to be. I'm sure they will settle in quicker than you can imagine.
Hope this helps.
I'll try and send you some Karma. I haven't sent any before so sorry if it doesn't work!

Good Luck
Julie

NKSK

Talk nicely, explain everything. Tell them all of the good points, focus on the zoo, swimming or whatever. Promise them that anybody can come and stay at any time etc

And if that fails just tell them that you're going anyway, they're coming, there's no room for negotiation, they'd better get used to the idea and they'd better stop whining.
Or the Australian Bogeyman will come and scare the life out of them when they're alseep.

Do you have a Ned Kelly outfit?

moneypenny20

Stop mentioning it for a while. My eldest (12) was adamant she wasn't going. Stopped discussing it with her for a bit, but talking to youngest (10) about it - she has always been very keen. In the end first born started asking questions and checking out web sites etc, we then started including her again. She has gone up and down a fair bit, but knows its a done deal and is now looking forward to the leaving party. Also being 12, it is extremely uncool to seem excited about anything The day we go will be hell but honestly believe she will settle in the quickest of all of us.

peppi

Forgive me I dont mean this to sound rude..but when I was a kid we did as we were told...Some thing like this would not have been negiotable....I didnt argued with my parents when they moved me to Devon from Surrey..and I didnt want to go.....

Those days are gone now I suppose...the kids rule the roost nowadays it seems...bloody madness

ahoy

i agree with sksakskaks or whatever. having done all you can to be understanding you have to remember who the parent is. you are the ones who have lived a while, who pay the bills and experience 'real life' in the uk. the ones who are responsible for the future of the family. kids of 11 and 9, no matter how wonderful they are, just do not have enough experience or understanding to make a sound judgement. they need to be guided. i also think the idea of not talking about it for a while could be worth a try. all the best

Kelli28

my littlun went through a stage where he said he didn't want to go anymore i stopped talking about it for a while but soon realised it was family members trying to put him off because they didn't want us to go so i told them to stop talking about it too coz they were just making him upset and we were going regardless and kids adapt much quicker than adults

jimarg

Your situation is so like ours. We are waiting on our case officer. We are going for the skilled desiginated area spnsored visa to Melbourne. I have 2 sisters there 1 in Croydon HIlls and the other in Mooroolbark. My kids boy 10 girl 9 don't want to go now. They have settled back into their routine since our visit to Oz 2 years ago this October. I have promised them a dog. They want a swimming pool and my son wants a tennis court so a dog was a compromise. The only thing that I have in my favour is they have lots of cousins over there.

Margaret

brisbec

I keep asking my 5 yr old if she wants to go and live in Australia and 90% of the time she says yes but whenever she sees "grandma" she says she doesnt want to go!!

She's only been twice - 6 mths old and 3 and half years old - but she does remember when i show her the photos and she wants to go back.

Is there any chance (money willing) that your validation trip could be a holiday thingy, where you introduce the kids to Australia and give them a taste of what is to come????

All the best

Bordy

Tell them Thorpey says its fully sic.

NKSK

Same here. Don't know if this make me annoyed or just sad!

Amazulu

Don't discuss it. Tell them they are going, end of story.

brisbec

I know that feeling!!

Even more so because there was only me and my mum and now theres me , my mum and my daughter so we all look out for each other - as it were!!!

But even grandma knows that young'un would have a much better outlook, lifestyle etc and mummy would be much happier on the other side of the world

Oh my god I'm thinking about ripping the grandchild from the grandparent's arms again!!!!

sherman989

Hi

We have had the same thing with our 11yrs old, he really enjoyed our month in NSW fact finding even though he had school work to do every morning. When we got back he said he didn't want to move. To cut along story short.. we had to take the children to cafcass, and our daughter was even trying to persuade him to change his mind. When he was asked if he wanted to stay and live with his father, it changed his mind - sharp!!. He wanted to go!
Basically he doesn't like change, cannot cope well, and when I explained we were all in the same boat, starting new jobs,schools etc having to meet new people, and that we would all stick together, he felt reassured.
Now we sometimes talk about it and its him that adds the when we are in Oz
Believe in what you are doing and go for it, its their future.

Mandie