BLC

I am after people's real life experiences, both good and bad on this, has the move to Australia really changed your lives? Is it the same? Any regrets? Do you do more with your life now in Oz than UK? Would you get back in a plane and live back in the UK?

I have been reflective of my nearly two years back in the UK, I did not come with any great expections of it BUT I have found it difficult to slot in back in again. And boy I have tried everything to do this.

I have found for me I have gone backwards - with work, there are little opportunities compared to what I found in Sydney. This is just the location I live in here in the UK and I am sure it would be very different if I lived in another part of the UK.

My family and friends, not sure if this is an "English" thing but apart from a couple of mates and my Dad, everyone else seems to have dwindled away, that is, I make the efforts yet it is all "too hard" for them to change their lives and like their routine, this includes my own Mother. And this is fine I guess.

I had a network of "good" buddies in Oz, I had lots of interests and activities. Yes there was no family and that was really tough but it is not until you walk away from something to you realise what you have lost.

Example of this, Hubby is working today and he is my usual strolling partner. I felt the need to get into the car and get some air at the beach. I got there and felt like a Mrs Two Heads Stare at Me, I was trying not to get paranoid but I felt uncomfortable on my own. Yet in Oz, I would have no qualms going to the beach, park wherever for a walk or just sit and read a book without it looking alien.

My motivation has really been kicked, I don't feel anywhere as near as positive or spontaneous about life and never seem to look forward. Even my jobs in Oz, yes we had bad days but I did enjoy them and people commented on that when I used to talk about my work.

I am really scared (yet excited) about moving back to a country where I feel better suited, that offers me a more enjoyable life. I think I am scared of saying that I am no longer part of the life that is on offer over in the UK and apart from a few folks I won't miss a thing.

Has anyone else felt this way? I guess it is a guilt thing, like you should feel more about your country of birth.

I am not slating the UK, I don't want to debate immigration, NHS or cost of petrol, just personal experiences to share would be good.

A bit down with it all.
B

ProofReader

So eloquently put! Seriously. A great post which sums up many of my feelings too, although I wasn't born here (although parents are/were Poms). I wasn't born an Aussie either, but have been a naturalised one for 18 years and lived there (until now) for 28 years and consider myself an Aussie through and through.

Tried to send you karma but got the old 'spreading' message. Will PM you as soon as time permits, but have to go for a bit now.

Take care and talk soon.
Cx

BLC

I reckon you and I need together for a weeks does of happy pills When I read your post the other day I related to your feelings at the moment.

It is all about where you feel like you belong and just because you were born and raised somewhere, it does not mean that is where you must stay.

Oh Gawd, where is the cooking sherry

moneypenny20

Just did a reply but hit the wrong button and lost it all - dozy mare

Can't answer your question cos I haven't been there done that yet but wanted to say that you seem to have made a huge decision - don't feel guilty about it. You didn't choose where you were born and you have tried other places and found somewhere that fits. Sounds good to me.

It's only by experiencing the good and bad of life that you can work out what you want and need. You have been through a hell of a lot but if you have learnt more about yourself and where you want to be, it had to be experienced.

Good luck. Look forward, not back.

BLC

Cheers for that, just somedays back in the UK I seem so frustrated with myself, almost like a stuck needle in an old 45 (Gosh, remember those )

The hardest thing is that my Dad is doing everything possible to support us and make us as happy as he can but he can see in both our eyes how "lost" we really are with it all

Flutterscutter

I have been trying to search for a word that describes how i felt when i lived in the UK. Just found it!

OPRESSED

Sounds an odd word to use but sums up how it made me feel living my life there.
There were lots of circumstances, situations and people who made me feel this way for different reasons.

Family who put you into a certain "box" and thats how they see you. You will never be anything other than the label they have placed upon you. Same goes for friends, collegues etc who have known you for years.

The class system which pigeon holes you.

When i left UK and landed in Aus, the first day i arrived i felt as though i had undone the buttons on a heavy lead coat and dumped it in the arrivals hall. All preconceptions of who i was, what i should be, and how i should behave were GONE!! I felt like i wanted to cry with relief.

Over the next few weeks i discovered it was ok to speak to strangers in the street without fear of being cast a nutcase. I know that sounds trivial and daft, but its just an indicator of how different people and life is outside the UK.

I'll stop for now as i'll be wittering on all night

I really feel for you Bev. Know exactly how you are feeling. I will PM you the name of a book you may find really interesting.

BLC

Cheers mate, my post like everyone else's in not having a pop at the UK, many are VERY happy here and enjoy their lives BUT we are all different and I feel completely suffocated by it all. Have done for months but trying to make the best out of life.

In September I am back to college to do Basic Counselling and going to start a meditation class to chill a little and meet some new faces

Look forward to your PM.

B x

TopCat3

What you need is a good strong cup of coffee and some Italian biscotti from my favourite coffee shop.

Yes, coming to Australia, I changed my life completely - turned it on its head, you might say

Yes, I have done more things and broadened my horizons by travelling, not just within Australia but overseas as well, since living here.

I left a very closed, confined existence and broke out on my own, like a butterfly out of a chrysalis.

I go to many places (most places, actually) on my own, that's the way I like it, and I don't think people view that as strange. I don't really know, and I don't really care. This is what the "live and let live" attitude of Australia has done for me.

Would I climb on a plane and go back? Look, after nearly 20 years here, there are lots of things that irritate me, and there are lots of nostalgic longings for poky little pubs with horsebrasses and low beams; REALLY old buildings like my parish church that dates back to the 1100s; windswept dank moors with standing stones; winding country lanes,;the soft twitter of birdsong as opposed to the raucous shriek; delicately coloured and frail little wildflowers growing beside hawthorn hedgerows, as opposed to the gaudy stiff Australian flowers; rolling green chequerboard hills- I mean lush GREEN, not grey, sombre bush against red dusty earth...

No, I wouldn't climb on a plane and go back. Some days I feel like I could swim it, but most days I look up at that wide blue bowl of sky, see the white sulphur crested cockatoos and rainbow lorikeets flying down INNER CITY suburban streets, see the sun glinting on the sails of the Opera House and check the direction of the flags on the top of the Harbour Bridge, and I know that after six weeks in England I would probably be as homesick as hell.

It's something many of us who have been here a long time, learn to live with. It either starts off hard and gets better, or starts off easy and starts to sink in and eat away at you as the years pass, or starts off easy and stays easy with rarely a look back. It's as personal as the colour of your eyes or your fingerprint, how you feel and how you live it and what you make of it.

You have to come back and see for yourself. Coffee's brewing...

Flutterscutter

I agree. Not slagging UK so much as just the life you may have lived in it, which i was very unhappy with in the end. Just couldnt be who i wanted to be. Much to do with the people around me more than geographics.

DollyDaydream

Hi B,

And there was I saying "and how's life with you at the moment" and up comes this post.

It is eloquently written and lots of people will relate to it.

You have to do what is right for you.....there's no need for you to feel bad about not feeling comfortable in your own country. Geez, most people on here would tell you exactly the same hence why most of us are desperate to leave.

Bide your time here, but look forward to going "home".

D D

BLC

Thanks TopCat3, like Flutter and others have said, that emerging butterfly

I felt a bit of a prat when I hit the post button but I am glad I did as you have all made me feel so much better, I have been quite down with it all.

B x

BLC

See ask a silly question . . .

Cheers for the support, just having a bad UK day I guess.

B x

TopCat3

YES!!!!

YES THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHEN I GOT BACK HERE AS A PR! RELIEF!

I DIDN'T REALISE UNTIL YOU PUT IT SO ELOQUENTLY - THANK YOU!!

PS How're you feeling now, since, you know...

BLC

Ditto that question, I wanted to ask too but you know, it is the words to ask it, thinking of you xx

Flutterscutter

I'm not too bad thanx. Stupidly put cat food out next to the dogs yesterday without thinking been down the yard a couple of times just to say hi.
Poor dog is missing him.

thanx for asking.

dont want to hijack this great thread.