Cheetah7

I often wonder if the person who is suffering from homesickness, if it rubs off on the child?

I know my husband and I have agreed that if one is unhappy then tough. We both say neither of us have the right to snatch the dream from the other.

Hard I know, but we have thought about it.

But I suppose it is different for each and every one of us.

I do know attitudes are contagious and it is very easy to be brought down or raised up by the person you share your life with.

Culture shock and adaptation, I think we do need an article or a section on the board to assist people in dealing with this.

One that is stuck to the top of the board and one that people don't need to search for.

Shame they don't do preperation courses for it.

Margaret2

Thanks for that will pm with her msn address, however we are headed to perth. You've no idea the lengths we've went to to try to make it easier (won't go into them to long, but it icludes contact with other teenagers in perth). Was reading the other posts about not letting the children make decisions, I know this and agree! but have you met my daughter? She's not the bolshy, tantrumy type, just looks at you with those big brown eyes glistening with tears, and I know they can't see the big picture at that age and we're doing what we feel is right, etc ,etc, etc, etc, but it still doesn't make it any easier.......you see my biggest fear is we go over and it all goes pear shaped for everyone......and she says 'told you so', I know, I know, wrong attitude and you should be positive and make it work etc, etc,.......but hey shit happens, however words of encouragement are still appreciated, have posted all about my reluctant teenager on lots of threads just to hear the reassurance.

p.s Professional princess........ I love you posts, they are so funny at times.

kerrieee

Hi Margaret , I actually was on the verge of calling the whole thing off as well.
My 13 year old son and 11 year old daughter are really still very anti Oz, and to be honest joking aside I feel like the Mam from hell sometimes.
Its good finding a site like this, its good advice from family's going through the same experience .
We are just at the very start of the process and just hope things start to get better as really want my children to be happy.
Will show my son these posts as well and see what reaction I get
,Kerry

Margaret2

Hi Kerriee, and welcome to the site, it gets very addictive, think I am going to have to go into some sort of therapy to give it up lol, but you get a right laugh on it. We have just recently submitted our application so on the waiting game just now. Where are you from and where are you going. I'm up here in Scotland. I know for a fact when we get our visa and things start to really move, like selling the house things will get even worse with my teenager, but if we don't take this opportunity, I don't want to say in 10 years time wish we had, or how p#####d off would you be if in 10 years time the kids said, well we're off to australia. The only positive thing I can say about her is she is now accepting that we might actually go!!!, not happy just accepting the fact.

kerrieee

hi Margaret, think we are at the same stage my 13 year old is making me is miserable as well , and my 11 year starts cries if we mention oz, They are really good kids as well,Nice to know some one else out is going through the same thing, this forum has helped me a lot, kerry

Margaret2

Think we are definately on the same wave length here, think we were both posting simultaneously there,

kerrieee

Hi Margaret , I'm In Newcastle , my husband works in Glasgow during the week.
My Husbands Company are looking for staff, for a new office in Brisbane so we are right at the start of the process, Have a meeting on Friday to find out more details, I am the same as you and dont want to look back and say what if in ten years time,Kids are taking the news really bad.
Kerry

Margaret2

Hi, I met a couple from newcastle (going to perth but), met them on a scottish meet, they have 2 boys 12 and 14 I think, and their boys seem to be ok about it, do you think we're doing something wrong?? Also met someone with 2 teenage girls who are now in Perth, and they couldn't wait to go, they also speak to my daughter on msn, one of them was telling her a couple of weeks how great school was, but still nothing positive from her!!

uk+kiwi

[QUOTE=Professional Princess]I know my husband and I have agreed that if one is unhappy then tough. We both say neither of us have the right to snatch the dream from the other.
QUOTE]

That is very very true, but the flip side is life is too short for either one of you to be unhappy. Otherwise it could come down to choosing between a country & a marriage, something which could not be analysed before the feelings are in situ. With the world becoming smaller in terms of global travel/migration, it really shouldn't be difficult for couples to find a lifestyle in a country that suits both people.

Just my 2 pennies worth, have to have a read on here when the NZ forum is quiet!

kerrieee

Hi, I think I am doing right thing some days and other i wish the job offer had never came up.
Just wish they could see the bigger picture.
My Husband is very keen but he does not get the grief they give me about Oz when he is away working in Scotland.
My kids have moved schools a lot as we lived in Middle East when they were younger. I can see there point of view and do feel for them but I think Oz will better life.how far are you into the process? Kerry x

Margaret2

Our application has just been lodged, well think!! we went through an agent, but no real hiccups so far, just seemed to take ages, but that was our fault, both of us are rubbish at paperwork.
I have the opposite problem to you, my kids have always been in the same house, same friends, same school, so hence one of the reasons they don't want to go, well the teen anyway, to be honest I think I would probably get much of the same problems if we were moving to the next town, so may as well do it properly lol.

kerrieee

Hi Margaret me again, as our move to Brisbane is being arranged by hubby's current company, the transfer might be quicker but could be wrong on that one.
Then I was Wondering if a family holiday to Brisbane would help the kids out.
I would rather save the money for the move.
Have been watching a new life down under on a Sunday night has helped a tiny bit.
Have to sign of soon , to complete paperwork for work tomorrow.
hope we can chat again lol Kerry

jaxowen

mmmm... tricky one isn't it, i think of teenagers as 'unreason dressed in reasons garb.' none could have protested more than our willful little beggars!!! well lots of bribery ensued and they are settled now but it took a lot of patience on our part.
my advice based on our experience is:
stand fast in your descision - through out their lives you have made lots of descisions that, given the choice at the time, they wouldn't have agreed with i.e. potty training, first day at school, stabilizers off the bike, innoculations, curfew, groundings etc. but you did them because you knew that in the long run it was for the best. I know that moving across the other side of the world is completely different but if you put it in to perspective - if you or your husband had a job offer in cornwall or for that matter 30 minutes from your current home town, the effect on your childrens lives would be exactly the same. The surrounding area, school, home etc would all be different and they wouldn't go to any great lengths to keep in touch with their mates except via MSN. They would innitially give you a hard time but they'd get over it.
My main bit of advice though is: be careful not to back them in to a corner that they can't get out of. don't keep trying to change their minds. they are not going to wake up one day and say 'actually i think it is a great idea now,' just get them to agree to give it a go - say 6-12 months then, when they have experienced it you will be able to respect their opinions. Our most adamant protester has settled quicker than any of us - but if you had asked me two weeks ago it was a different story!!! School has made a big difference - thank god the ozzy teenagers are soooo friendly! also it made a big difference when they sussed out the public transport and could get about independently.
any way good luck (you'll need it!!)- just remember 'you are the grown up and actually you do know best'
don't let the b*^&^%rs gring you down!!

jax
PS we have only been here a month

cranni

13 is a bad age i think, when we came out last xmas, it was now or NEVER, as our young ones where 11, 10, 7, but they are very happy, my 17 yr daughter, would not even go on the forms, she was 18 when we came over, i left 3 older ones, 6 months down the line, she missed us so much, i got her here on a student visa, and it is costing me a fortune
She is happy here, but i always said to her to treat it as an adventure, never say never. I lived in oz when i was a teeniager , my mum took us back when i was 15 so i know how hard it is, i hated her for it, i hated school, but looking back i understand now why she did it. Good luck to you.
oh by the way it cost us a new car as well, for my daughter, and i am still paying.