philian4

Hi,

just had the most horrible Monday morning, my 7 year old daughter has been in floods of tears because she says she's homesick. I tried cuddles and talking about England and friends etc etc and explaining again why we came here. But she took little consolation. It breaks my heart. I have asked her to call friends/email/write letters on numerous occasions but she has always been too busy or wanting to go to the beach etc instead. Her teacher is very supportive and says she seems ok at school. Don't know what I expect anyone to say in reply to this-I haven't experienced this feeling yet, I don't miss England at all. does it pass? Has anyone got a similar aged child who really isn't/hasn't settled. Good or bad I'd love to hear from someone.

Thanks x

gobbyjock

Sorry to hear your little girl is so homesick - we are still in the UK and the only experience we have was when we moved down from Scotland to Hants to live - not quite on the same par as moving across the other side of the world All I can say is try and keep your chin up - kids are a lot more resiliant than we give them credit for. At least on this forum you can pretty much guarantee that someone else will have gone through the exact same problems you are now. Has there been any one incident thats set her off?? I will send you some karma anyway when I get topped up.

louise4

Hi Phillian4, i am sorry to hear that your little girl is homesick, but it does pass. we moved to sydney 3 yrs ago and are planning on going back ASAP. our children were 7 & 4 at the time and had no worries the little one. Ellie (the 7 yr old) was really touch and go. one day up and the next down. by the time we left she was totally settled ( only stayed 7 months) and had made friends. when Ellie was really down we did the 'phone home' bit but we found that it made her feel worse. we would talk about england and all that was there and on reflection i think we did it wrong. we should have been taking her mind off of england and keeping her so busy she didn't have time to think of england but instead we thought that she spoke to her friends she would cheer up. what we were really doing was installing the feeling that all her happiness was still in the uk. after one very traumatic phone call to her friend in the uk we put a stop to it and decided we would only allow her to call the uk if it was to report something fantastic. that seemed to work, her friends would tell her how lucky she was and she would get off the phone all hyped , we found before this she was beside herself with lonliness after the call whereas she had only been a bit down before. i really don't have any quick fix answers for you im sorry. but soon her life there will become the norm and the uk will be a memory to enjoy just like the last 6 weeks holiday.
i hope she comes a round soon, just keep plodding away at it.

louise

hevs

We had it a couple of times, especially at bed time Whilst its heartbreaking they quickly learn how to push all of your buttons, especially if your a bit fragile at the same time.

Please don't think iam saying that they're not really homesick, cos i was and i know how it feels!!

We just kept ours busy phoned home (as the other poster said) when we'd had a fantastic day and tryed to jolly them along. Also getting them to say exactly what they think they're missing is good to, it can help you try to fill the gap this side

We havn't had an episode for nearly a year now and the kids don't want to go back even for a holiday.

Hang in there, kids are tough little so and so's (more so than us i often think)

Pootle

Hello!
I think we are going through a similar problem with my 6 year old. I looked at your time line and you moved over in Jan same as us? The first term she seemed to settle really well into school and I was really pleased. I think after 3 months it has hit me more and been a bit more homesick. She has not said she's homesick, but since the start of this term she has been really moody, shouting etc which is not like her at all. Its hard for me as she's clingy in the mornings at school so sometimes I'm walking out with tears streaming down my face. I feel so guilty for moving her from England. But on the other hand, we have done some fantastic things since we have been here, have been out all the time, and loads of stuff we would never have done back home. I am making some supportive friends who help when I'm weeping!!! I'm sure in 6 months she will be fine and we will be worrying over nothing!
All the best,
Pootle

Tass

Hi , have a 6 year old , 7 next week and she has become an emotionally labile mess ! My husband loves it here and never likes us to tlk about back in Scotland but I have found this to be VERY negative. When she gets really upset I have to take the time out ,wherever I am and listen to her and encourage her to talk about it. Don't know if it's working but she seems a wee bit less upset.
Maybe we should put them together for a day and let them talk it out between them.(whilst we sit in the garden with a bottle of wine ........erm , I mean cup of tea )
Can't offer you any advice but know I'm going thru the same thing too.(been here 6 months tommorow )
P.M. me if you need to bend an ear.
Good luck and all the best,
Tass.

philian4

Thank you both so much!

I was starting to think it was just me. I worried about my eldest more thinking he'd really miss mates......he has hardly looked back. Lizzie breaks my heart, we spent a fantastic time over the holidays and have like you've, said spent time doing so much that we could only dream of in the UK-nothing amazing just loads of outdoor/family stuff. I guess you should never presume that what you want is what they want or that when you're exhilerated they will be too. She came home from school a lot happier, and I spent all evening with herjust doing girls stuff. Just have ride the storm I guess.

Thansk for your support and the wine,..... erm...... tea sounds lovely!!!!!

philian4

Didn't think it at all!! She knows how to push my buttons alright. I haven't gone thru homesickness yet, though I miss friends. I just find it hard to get inside her head when there's all this Australia thing going on outside and it's great!!!! She is always the one though, no matter what it is , who is most resistant to change......even painting her room, or sitting in a different place at the dinner table.

Fingers crossed...............

Becs

My sister was 7 when we moved to the USA from Greece (I was 9). From what I remember, we both had a tough time settling in. I guess once all the excitement is over and it hits you that this isn't home, it ceases to be 'fun' anymore.

Best of luck though. Be patient with her, I know from experience that parental reliability is very important in that situation.

-Becs

helinuk

The bigger picture :
My 7yr old was very homesick in the first yr in Singapore.
when we returned to UK I had a "homesick for Singapore" 13yr old!
Now at 16yrs old she can't wait to go to OZ to live! Now loves travelling.
Being homesick is tough and very real - my thoughts are with you and your daughter.
Have sent a pm:-)
Helen