HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Feb 26th 2007, 7:45 pm
#1
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HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
We are hoping to go out to queensland June2008 and my daughter doesn,t want to come. She doesn,t want to leave her friends and boyfriend. I was hoping i could get some positive comments back from you lovely peeps to help convince her to come. She thinks the music scene is 'pants' she is into indy music she likes ' The View' and 'The Claxons'. I know that most teenagers go through this when the emigrate but please help
Feb 26th 2007, 7:47 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
We are hoping to go out to queensland June2008 and my daughter doesn,t want to come. She doesn,t want to leave her friends and boyfriend. I was hoping i could get some positive comments back from you lovely peeps to help convince her to come. She thinks the music scene is 'pants' she is into indy music she likes ' The View' and 'The Claxons'. I know that most teenagers go through this when the emigrate but please help
Sorry to hear of your troubles - I really am. Been there and all that. Can't really offer you any advice but I can offer support as a parent who has been there and done that - it is going to be a hard time I am afraid.
Sasxx
Feb 26th 2007, 7:50 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Thanks Sas i am dreading it i don,t want to break her heart but i know she will have a better life. By the way i love your pics of Robbie he is my pop god too
but i know she will have a better life. By the way i love your pics of Robbie he is my pop god too
Feb 26th 2007, 7:53 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Sasx
Feb 26th 2007, 8:13 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
We are hoping to go out to queensland June2008 and my daughter doesn,t want to come. She doesn,t want to leave her friends and boyfriend. I was hoping i could get some positive comments back from you lovely peeps to help convince her to come. She thinks the music scene is 'pants' she is into indy music she likes ' The View' and 'The Claxons'. I know that most teenagers go through this when the emigrate but please help
Nev
http://sourduck.blogspot.com/search/...ralian%20indie
http://www.innercitysound.com.au/
http://www.ozrock.com/
http://www.air.org.au/
http://www.onairradio.com/Indie-Music-News/
http://www.air.org.au/index.php?cID=...ult&menuID=431
There was much much more than this, i just picked a few after a quick search on google australia. Lots of luck.
Nev
Feb 26th 2007, 8:17 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Tricky one. Obviously the "you're only 17 and you will have broken up with this boy in 6 months" will not go down well.
In terms of the music scene, there is more and more online music (I know it's not live) but also plenty of live music in Australia - it is just a different scene. Like everything, it's not better or worse just different.
It might be possible to contact some teenagers/young people through this site that she could talk to about the move, so she sees she could make friends there and it wouldn't be the end of the world?
Realistically, what is the alternative for your daughter if you move and she stays? Will she stay with friends, or grandparents? Obviously you know the circumstances better than anyone on here but at 17 there is so much chance for her life to either become happy or not, depending on the next few years.
I hope you manage to resolve it in a way that keeps everyone happy.
In terms of the music scene, there is more and more online music (I know it's not live) but also plenty of live music in Australia - it is just a different scene. Like everything, it's not better or worse just different.
It might be possible to contact some teenagers/young people through this site that she could talk to about the move, so she sees she could make friends there and it wouldn't be the end of the world?
Realistically, what is the alternative for your daughter if you move and she stays? Will she stay with friends, or grandparents? Obviously you know the circumstances better than anyone on here but at 17 there is so much chance for her life to either become happy or not, depending on the next few years.
I hope you manage to resolve it in a way that keeps everyone happy.
Feb 26th 2007, 9:01 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Would it help to bribe your daughter, delicately of course. Visits from her friends, the promise to pay a % of her airfare if the girls decide on a holiday in ibiza, independance to visit thailand (e.g) with her friends when she's 21. A % of her boyfriends airfare to visit. A years trial. Australia opens up another side of the world which will otherwise be out of reach. Any employer worth his/her salt would recognise true grit if your daughter was open minded to take this leap, to open up to the possibilities her future offers. What if her best friend had the opportunity to move, would she go. etc., etc.
You've probably tried all these anyway but it's a fact that a teenagers brain becomes a rock instead of the sponge it used to be. It's a matter of whether you have a sweet enough chisel.
Good luck hun.
Bad mother, chez.
You've probably tried all these anyway but it's a fact that a teenagers brain becomes a rock instead of the sponge it used to be. It's a matter of whether you have a sweet enough chisel.
Good luck hun.
Bad mother, chez.
Feb 26th 2007, 9:05 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Its a difficult time. I have a17 year old daughter whio is staying behind. She always wanted to come and was really positive until about a year and a half ago when she went a bit mad.
Is now definitely not coming and has moved in with her boyfriend . If I could drag her kicking and screaming I would but that wont acheive anything. I can just hope that she changes her mind after me and her sister and brother have gone and follow us over. She does say she will come over in a year or two but who knows.
Sorry I couldn't be more positive but kids at that age will do what they want. Good luck.
Tracey
Is now definitely not coming and has moved in with her boyfriend
. If I could drag her kicking and screaming I would but that wont acheive anything. I can just hope that she changes her mind after me and her sister and brother have gone and follow us over. She does say she will come over in a year or two but who knows. Sorry I couldn't be more positive but kids at that age will do what they want. Good luck.
Tracey
Feb 26th 2007, 9:08 pm
#9
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Thanks everyone your soooo sweet i really appreciate all your words of wisdom
keep up your good work.
i really appreciate all your words of wisdom keep up your good work.
Feb 26th 2007, 9:24 pm
#10
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Would it help to bribe your daughter, delicately of course. Visits from her friends, the promise to pay a % of her airfare if the girls decide on a holiday in ibiza, independance to visit thailand (e.g) with her friends when she's 21. A % of her boyfriends airfare to visit. A years trial. Australia opens up another side of the world which will otherwise be out of reach. Any employer worth his/her salt would recognise true grit if your daughter was open minded to take this leap, to open up to the possibilities her future offers. What if her best friend had the opportunity to move, would she go. etc., etc.
You've probably tried all these anyway but it's a fact that a teenagers brain becomes a rock instead of the sponge it used to be. It's a matter of whether you have a sweet enough chisel.
Good luck hun.
Bad mother, chez.
You've probably tried all these anyway but it's a fact that a teenagers brain becomes a rock instead of the sponge it used to be. It's a matter of whether you have a sweet enough chisel.
Good luck hun.
Bad mother, chez.
Feb 26th 2007, 9:26 pm
#11
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
Its a difficult time. I have a17 year old daughter whio is staying behind. She always wanted to come and was really positive until about a year and a half ago when she went a bit mad.
Is now definitely not coming and has moved in with her boyfriend . If I could drag her kicking and screaming I would but that wont acheive anything. I can just hope that she changes her mind after me and her sister and brother have gone and follow us over. She does say she will come over in a year or two but who knows.
Sorry I couldn't be more positive but kids at that age will do what they want. Good luck.
Tracey
Is now definitely not coming and has moved in with her boyfriend
. If I could drag her kicking and screaming I would but that wont acheive anything. I can just hope that she changes her mind after me and her sister and brother have gone and follow us over. She does say she will come over in a year or two but who knows. Sorry I couldn't be more positive but kids at that age will do what they want. Good luck.
Tracey
sounds like u and me both - been here over 2 years and she still hasn't come out tho
Am looking forward to my visit back to hoepfully see her in 5 weeks
Feb 26th 2007, 9:36 pm
#12
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
When we were originally going to come, in the dim and distant past, she was 14. She said she wanted to finish her last 2 years at school and after a lot of discussion we agreed. Well I did. Hubby said if we didnt get her over there before she was 16 we wouldn't get her there. Me being the trusting mother of my first teenager I believed her
. Then as soon as she turned 16 she said she wasnt coming, despite her promising me if I stayed here for 2 years she would come over there for 2 years, at least till she got her citizenship.
So much has happened since then I sometimes wish I'd just dragged her over when she was 14. Then I've ended up staying for another 2 years for the next one! She's still coming, well she'd better be, I've paid for her ticket
Feb 26th 2007, 9:47 pm
#13
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
We are hoping to go out to queensland June2008 and my daughter doesn,t want to come. She doesn,t want to leave her friends and boyfriend. I was hoping i could get some positive comments back from you lovely peeps to help convince her to come. She thinks the music scene is 'pants' she is into indy music she likes ' The View' and 'The Claxons'. I know that most teenagers go through this when the emigrate but please help
See the thread 'help! tearing hair out 'by Annie 3-4 on the Canadian post.
She has the same problem with her 17yr.old daughter who does not want
to emigrate to Canada. Something common for you all to discuss and give
each other support.
Good luck.
Yoong
Feb 26th 2007, 9:51 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
It's a nightmare isnt it.
When we were originally going to come, in the dim and distant past, she was 14. She said she wanted to finish her last 2 years at school and after a lot of discussion we agreed. Well I did. Hubby said if we didnt get her over there before she was 16 we wouldn't get her there. Me being the trusting mother of my first teenager I believed her .
Then as soon as she turned 16 she said she wasnt coming, despite her promising me if I stayed here for 2 years she would come over there for 2 years, at least till she got her citizenship.
So much has happened since then I sometimes wish I'd just dragged her over when she was 14. Then I've ended up staying for another 2 years for the next one! She's still coming, well she'd better be, I've paid for her ticket
When we were originally going to come, in the dim and distant past, she was 14. She said she wanted to finish her last 2 years at school and after a lot of discussion we agreed. Well I did. Hubby said if we didnt get her over there before she was 16 we wouldn't get her there. Me being the trusting mother of my first teenager I believed her
. Then as soon as she turned 16 she said she wasnt coming, despite her promising me if I stayed here for 2 years she would come over there for 2 years, at least till she got her citizenship.
So much has happened since then I sometimes wish I'd just dragged her over when she was 14. Then I've ended up staying for another 2 years for the next one! She's still coming, well she'd better be, I've paid for her ticket
The people that can truly hurt you are the ones you love deeply.
I left my daughter there when she was almost 15 with her dad. she had lived with me always and then decided at the last minute (just sent visa application off) she didn't want to come.
Son and stepdaughter came - son has never settled (he was 17) and is now planning on returning back to UK for a year or so and step daughter loves it.
When all said and done - I chose to live here and my children cannot dictate my happiness as such - they can just make me unhappy with the outcome.
One day they will be fully grown and have their own children and hopefully realise how much pain they have caused.
Sarah
Feb 26th 2007, 9:54 pm
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Re: HELP! 17 yr old Daughter won't come.
You have my heartfelt sympathies Tracey
The people that can truly hurt you are the ones you love deeply.
I left my daughter there when she was almost 15 with her dad. she had lived with me always and then decided at the last minute (just sent visa application off) she didn't want to come.
Son and stepdaughter came - son has never settled (he was 17) and is now planning on returning back to UK for a year or so and step daughter loves it.
When all said and done - I chose to live here and my children cannot dictate my happiness as such - they can just make me unhappy with the outcome.
One day they will be fully grown and have their own children and hopefully realise how much pain they have caused.
Sarah
The people that can truly hurt you are the ones you love deeply.
I left my daughter there when she was almost 15 with her dad. she had lived with me always and then decided at the last minute (just sent visa application off) she didn't want to come.
Son and stepdaughter came - son has never settled (he was 17) and is now planning on returning back to UK for a year or so and step daughter loves it.
When all said and done - I chose to live here and my children cannot dictate my happiness as such - they can just make me unhappy with the outcome.
One day they will be fully grown and have their own children and hopefully realise how much pain they have caused.
Sarah
Sounds as if he's enjoyed his time but ready to go back