He who thinks Australian...
Nov 13th 2003, 9:18 pm
#16
Home in 2010.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: UK-Holland-OZ-UK-OZ-2010 Back to UK
Posts: 664
Re: He who thinks Australian...
Takes a while to load but worth it and remember to put the volume up.
A story with a moral ending
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?typ...h&display=2756
Who put the d!ck on the snowman
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?typ...h&display=1020
A story with a moral ending
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?typ...h&display=2756
Who put the d!ck on the snowman
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?typ...h&display=1020
Nov 14th 2003, 12:10 pm
#17
visa'd member oh yeah!
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 384
Go on then one more
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird
> section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if
> he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op
> dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two
> guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
>
> They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills
> and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis look loike grand
> place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
>
> They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh
> Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on
> his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
>
> Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a
> few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the
> cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too
> fockin' dangerous for me"
>
> ====== PART TWO =======
>
> A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he
> walks up carrying a bag He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy
> notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.
>
> "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of
> the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows
> the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a
> SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head
> and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider"
>
> ====== PART THREE =======
>
> A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been
> to the pet shop and he walks up carrying another bag. Instead of a parrot
> he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with
> the usual result.
>
> Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit
> his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen
> gliding"
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird
> section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if
> he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op
> dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two
> guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
>
> They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills
> and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis look loike grand
> place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
>
> They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh
> Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on
> his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
>
> Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a
> few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the
> cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too
> fockin' dangerous for me"
>
> ====== PART TWO =======
>
> A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he
> walks up carrying a bag He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy
> notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.
>
> "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of
> the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows
> the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a
> SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head
> and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider"
>
> ====== PART THREE =======
>
> A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been
> to the pet shop and he walks up carrying another bag. Instead of a parrot
> he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with
> the usual result.
>
> Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit
> his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen
> gliding"
Nov 14th 2003, 1:23 pm
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: B.c Canada
Posts: 910
Re: This is topical.....
Originally posted by downunderpom
Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.
The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.
So she goes over to Bob and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.
Bob leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Canadian currency?"
Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first visit to Orlando, Florida, finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.
The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob. The sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.
So she goes over to Bob and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.
Bob leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Canadian currency?"
Hey come on now our Loony went up 2 cents today!!!!!!!!!
Nov 16th 2003, 8:16 pm
#19
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7,949
Originally posted by CROSSY
Go on then one more
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird
> section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if
> he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op
> dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two
> guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
>
> They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills
> and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis look loike grand
> place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
>
> They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh
> Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on
> his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
>
> Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a
> few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the
> cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too
> fockin' dangerous for me"
>
> ====== PART TWO =======
>
> A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he
> walks up carrying a bag He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy
> notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.
>
> "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of
> the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows
> the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a
> SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head
> and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider"
>
> ====== PART THREE =======
>
> A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been
> to the pet shop and he walks up carrying another bag. Instead of a parrot
> he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with
> the usual result.
>
> Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit
> his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen
> gliding"
Go on then one more
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird
> section. Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem". The clerk comes over and asks if
> he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op
> dere," says Gerry, "Put dem in a peeper bag." The clerk does and the two
> guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
>
> They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills
> and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. "Dis look loike grand
> place, eh?" says Gerry. "Oh, yeh, dis looks good," replies Paddy.
>
> They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. "I guess I git to go first, eh
> Paddy?" says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on
> his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
>
> Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a
> few seconds followed by a 'SPLAT'. As Paddy looks over the edge of the
> cliff he shakes his head and says, "Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin' is too
> fockin' dangerous for me"
>
> ====== PART TWO =======
>
> A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he
> walks up carrying a bag He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy
> notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.
>
> "Hi, Paddy. Watch this," Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of
> the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows
> the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a
> SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry's remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head
> and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat parrotshooting nider"
>
> ====== PART THREE =======
>
> A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been
> to the pet shop and he walks up carrying another bag. Instead of a parrot
> he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself off the cliff with
> the usual result.
>
> Once more Paddy shakes his head - "Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit
> his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin' hen
> gliding"
Did you hear that the Irish SAS broke into the zoo, attacked the gorillas and released the ostriches.
(Guerillas and hostages, get it?
D OzTennis
